I can finally say, Bunchy's got her groove back. I'm back into the routine of going to the gym every day and feeling icky when I don't!!! WOOT HOOT! I am out of the rut.
I've been avoiding strength training. If for no other reason, my neck and shoulder pain are a challenge for sure. I've had an injection in the neck and now one in the shoulder. Numerous chiropractor visits and some time with my massage therapist. The headache on Friday was so bad I decided to forgo the ice the experts insist on and purchased a heating pad. I woke up on Saturday with no headache. I was dancing around the house. After spending 24 hours in pain, I was overcome with joy that it was gone. I'm hoping to add strength back in soon. In the meantime, I've been doing cardio for 45-60 minutes at a time. Yesterday, I had my sweat on for sure.
My friend Belinda has been walking on the treadmill sideways. I decided this is something I need to try. I did not enter into this decision quickly. I had great concern for my physical well being. I had seen Belinda doing this and she had told me how great it was for the outer thighs. Folks, my outer thighs could use some work for sure. Last week I asked Belinda for a lesson. I was scared to let go, but I did it. Yesterday I tried it on my own and didn't even hold on once I got going. Please know, I'm doing this at a slow speed. No need for rushing myself right off the treadmill. In regard to all of the cardio I've been doing, it's an amazing feeling to get your heart rate up and keep it up in that 80% range and know that you are doing your body some good.
I was watching a special episode of Biggest Loser for Thanksgiving. Bob Harper talked about a key in weight loss. The key is if you feel you have been successful you are more likely to keep the weight off than if you don't feel like you've accomplished something. I think in the past my thinking has been something like this "I lost 20 pounds. That was hard. At least I'm 20 pounds lighter. I'm still fat." That was it. I didn't feel success with the loss. I wasn't necessarily even proud. I still felt fat. In this journey I feel successful. I'm losing weight and keeping it off. I'm going to the gym and liking it. (I haven't forgotten the lapse. However, it is huge that I never gave up on going altogether.)Most importantly I feel good about what I am doing for my body.
Another little inspiration from Bob Harper ~
"I tell people to start off small and not change everything all at once. Realize that you are making a "lifestyle change" and not looking for a quick fix. When you begin to make small changes, you start to feel the difference and then you can grow from there. I really do think that if you try to do too much too soon, you can set yourself up for failure. Remember, today is the first day of the rest of your life and, most of all, you are worth it!!!"
Yes I am worth it. That means I'll take that treadmill facing forward or sideways. Whatever it takes!
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
She's Got The Look
First, the thorns are still in my stomach!!! They have to go away eventually right? Little red welts all over my stomach. Don't worry I'm still laughing about it.
I can finally say I am back on track. Oral comps are over. I am ABD (All But Dissertation!). It feels great. I'm hoping to defend the proposal of my dissertation (chapters 1-3) this December and then graduate in December of 2012. The way I structure my time is up to me. I have put working out at the top of the priority list. I took the first weekend after comps off. I mean OFF. I layed on the couch and in two days we watched 7 movies. The only thing I did was one of my passions...cooking. Lasagna, chili, apple crumb pie, and many other snacks. When I hopped on the scales the following Monday I was up a pound. The following week was parent teacher conferences. Late nights complicated by a stressful situation. Last Friday no work and my first priority was a work out. I hit it and have been back in the swing. It feels GREAT! I plan to add my strength training back in this coming weekend. I have a couple of friends who want me to show them some moves. Ask and you shall receive.
Tonight I was on the elliptical when this fine and I do mean FINE young man came up beside me. (Don't worry, Honey! He's only 21 or so.) He did some things on the elliptical I have never seen. I think he might be into boxing. He was doing some boxing moves with his arms, but then also with his legs. He would squat down for a few strides and then be up on his toes. I was mesmerized. Of course I'm not going to try any of the moves because we all know what would happen. ;)
I've been watching this outfit. I've even tried it on a couple of times. It finally went on clearance and it fit a size smaller than normal. All of you shoppers know that's like a double sign. I bought it and wore it yesterday. Lots of compliments. Have I mentioned my friend Miah on here? Miah is one of my biggest chearleaders. She's a trainer and has competed in competitions and it has meant a lot to know that she's on my side. Miah gives me the business about having "the skinny girl walk". The funniest part is when she impersonates me. As I walked by her room yesterday I couldn't help but poke my head in. She lifted her eyebrows and I said, "Yeah. It's a size smaller." Today Miah was impersonating how I walked away from her. I can't help it if the hips swagger. A size smaller???? I've worked hard for this.
I have a goal to lose ten pounds by Christmas. Yesterday our lounge was filled with payday treats. They were all sweets. I was about to pick up a cupcake. Amy caught me with my hand in mid pick "I thought you were starting your diet today?" What a true friend. Others in the lounge insisted you can't start a diet on Halloween. I ate half a cupcake. It really didn't taste that good so I didn't finish it. Who says you have to wait until the first to start a diet? Now let's all put our minds to this and see how many pounds we can get off before the holidays!
I can finally say I am back on track. Oral comps are over. I am ABD (All But Dissertation!). It feels great. I'm hoping to defend the proposal of my dissertation (chapters 1-3) this December and then graduate in December of 2012. The way I structure my time is up to me. I have put working out at the top of the priority list. I took the first weekend after comps off. I mean OFF. I layed on the couch and in two days we watched 7 movies. The only thing I did was one of my passions...cooking. Lasagna, chili, apple crumb pie, and many other snacks. When I hopped on the scales the following Monday I was up a pound. The following week was parent teacher conferences. Late nights complicated by a stressful situation. Last Friday no work and my first priority was a work out. I hit it and have been back in the swing. It feels GREAT! I plan to add my strength training back in this coming weekend. I have a couple of friends who want me to show them some moves. Ask and you shall receive.
Tonight I was on the elliptical when this fine and I do mean FINE young man came up beside me. (Don't worry, Honey! He's only 21 or so.) He did some things on the elliptical I have never seen. I think he might be into boxing. He was doing some boxing moves with his arms, but then also with his legs. He would squat down for a few strides and then be up on his toes. I was mesmerized. Of course I'm not going to try any of the moves because we all know what would happen. ;)
I've been watching this outfit. I've even tried it on a couple of times. It finally went on clearance and it fit a size smaller than normal. All of you shoppers know that's like a double sign. I bought it and wore it yesterday. Lots of compliments. Have I mentioned my friend Miah on here? Miah is one of my biggest chearleaders. She's a trainer and has competed in competitions and it has meant a lot to know that she's on my side. Miah gives me the business about having "the skinny girl walk". The funniest part is when she impersonates me. As I walked by her room yesterday I couldn't help but poke my head in. She lifted her eyebrows and I said, "Yeah. It's a size smaller." Today Miah was impersonating how I walked away from her. I can't help it if the hips swagger. A size smaller???? I've worked hard for this.
I have a goal to lose ten pounds by Christmas. Yesterday our lounge was filled with payday treats. They were all sweets. I was about to pick up a cupcake. Amy caught me with my hand in mid pick "I thought you were starting your diet today?" What a true friend. Others in the lounge insisted you can't start a diet on Halloween. I ate half a cupcake. It really didn't taste that good so I didn't finish it. Who says you have to wait until the first to start a diet? Now let's all put our minds to this and see how many pounds we can get off before the holidays!
Monday, October 17, 2011
Connections From Flower Gardening to Weight Loss
Before understanding the connections outlined in this blog, my readers will need a little background knowledge. Nine years ago my husband and I (with a little help from some kind neighbors) built a flower bed on the south side of our home. The garden runs the entire width of our home, four feet off the ground, three feet wide, and a maybe 20 feet long. It's massive. I call it the Arizona garden because everything is orange and yellow and was inspired by our trip to Arizona several years ago. It includes a paddle cactus. If you don't know, paddle cactus has big outrageous thorns all over it, but also includes little hair like thorns that are almost invisible to the naked eye. Also, in the flower bed is a wild rose bush. It is one of three which had been transplanted from my mom's best friends house and is over 80 years old. The rose bush is out of control and pink. There is also some hummingbird vine which I planted even after the lady at my favorite flower nursery told me I would regret it. It is growing up the side of our house and is rampant. I had told my husband that as soon as comps were finished (I passed on Saturday!!! I'm ABD-All But Dissertation!!!) I was going to tackle the flower bed. Yesterday about 4:00 in the afternoon I arrived home. Once I was in the middle of this project and laughing at myself I realized there are some connections one could make to weight loss.
Connection 1: Sometimes, you have to break down walls to lose weight and achieve goals. Yesterday, I had to tear down one side of the rock wall. Big heavy rocks. It was challenging. Psychological walls exist for those of us whom have had struggles with our weight. We have to figure out what those walls are and tear them down. Once I tore down the wall, it was easier to get to the root of the problem (the rose bush).
Connection 2: What looks like an easy task might be more of a struggle once you begin. There were three root balls connected under what appeared to be (and was planted as) one rose bush. In both exercise and diet there are roots we have established in our behavior which has led us to bloom as we are. That rose bush was coming out the side of the flower garden and was dangerous to those who passed by. It was causing other things in the garden to die. Once I examined it's roots, I realized it had no choice. Where do your roots lead you? Do you need to move them so you have room to blossom?
Connection 3: One can never be prepared enough and it doesn't pay to rush. I couldn't find my special gloves I had purchased for working with my plants with thorns. I just put on my regular garden gloves which are not thorn proof. I wore capris and one of my favorite tshirts. Many many times I yelled, "OUCH!" I connect this with my eating. If I don't prepare my food in advance or at least think about it in advance I make poor choices because I am in a hurry. It only hurts my body.
Connection 4: Repeating the same behavior over and over will only lead to the same results or insanity. In this case an unwelcome case of thorns. I had removed most of the paddle cactus from my flower garden because it spread like a weed. Yet, I thought it was cool to have cactus which returned year after year with beautiful yellow blooms. Thus, I saved a small portion and put it in a large metal wash tub in the flower garden. After cutting my leg on it yesterday (because I was in capris) I was mad and decided I should not have any thorny plants at all. So I painstakingly lifted the wash tub out of the flower bed and proceeded to carry it to the fire pit in the backyard. I should have known when I felt it rubbing on my stomach that this was not good. However, I was committed and decided to "carry on". Afterward I felt things poking in my stomach, but I had a job to finish which included rebuilding a wall. I finished the flower bed and sat down on the front step with tweezers to remove the thorns from my hands. I lifted up my shirt and saw the little thorns, but there were so many and I was so overwhelmed I didn't know where to begin so I thought they would come out in a hot shower. NOT!!! The thorns are now embedded in my stomach marked only by little red dots. Don't worry the pain isn't bad unless my clothes rub on it or I bend over. I hope you're laughing. Today when I told my sister this problem I said, "I know you're laughing." She said, "I'm just shaking my head." You have to know this is really so funny because I have battled this cactus for five years at least and I should know the result. It's much the same way with weight loss. I know if I don't go to the gym the results will not be what I need. I know if I eat bad choices I will continue to get the same results. Yet, sometimes...we choose to do things the hard way when we already know the result. Many times we do things the hard way because we think it saves time and effort. But does it really???
Connection 5: Every journey has difficult portions. The Arizona bed is one of my favorite things when it is in full bloom. It has been a true challenge because of it's size. It requires continuous upkeep. Random things begin to grow in there and they start to take over. Every now and then I have to whip it back into shape. However, after giving it a little TLC it's stunning. Isn't this true of us? I know it is of me. Things tend to go along very well and then I hit a tough spot. Maybe it's getting a new exercise down or changing an eating habit. Once I push through that hard spot...sometimes it's grueling and I feel like I'm not going to make it...but once I do I begin to enjoy the journey again.
By the way, the rose was replanted. I'm hoping the paddle cactus is gone forever. I did go to the gym today. I was extremely sore already. Squatting, digging, and moving rock was quite the hefty workout yesterday!
Connection 1: Sometimes, you have to break down walls to lose weight and achieve goals. Yesterday, I had to tear down one side of the rock wall. Big heavy rocks. It was challenging. Psychological walls exist for those of us whom have had struggles with our weight. We have to figure out what those walls are and tear them down. Once I tore down the wall, it was easier to get to the root of the problem (the rose bush).
Connection 2: What looks like an easy task might be more of a struggle once you begin. There were three root balls connected under what appeared to be (and was planted as) one rose bush. In both exercise and diet there are roots we have established in our behavior which has led us to bloom as we are. That rose bush was coming out the side of the flower garden and was dangerous to those who passed by. It was causing other things in the garden to die. Once I examined it's roots, I realized it had no choice. Where do your roots lead you? Do you need to move them so you have room to blossom?
Connection 3: One can never be prepared enough and it doesn't pay to rush. I couldn't find my special gloves I had purchased for working with my plants with thorns. I just put on my regular garden gloves which are not thorn proof. I wore capris and one of my favorite tshirts. Many many times I yelled, "OUCH!" I connect this with my eating. If I don't prepare my food in advance or at least think about it in advance I make poor choices because I am in a hurry. It only hurts my body.
Connection 4: Repeating the same behavior over and over will only lead to the same results or insanity. In this case an unwelcome case of thorns. I had removed most of the paddle cactus from my flower garden because it spread like a weed. Yet, I thought it was cool to have cactus which returned year after year with beautiful yellow blooms. Thus, I saved a small portion and put it in a large metal wash tub in the flower garden. After cutting my leg on it yesterday (because I was in capris) I was mad and decided I should not have any thorny plants at all. So I painstakingly lifted the wash tub out of the flower bed and proceeded to carry it to the fire pit in the backyard. I should have known when I felt it rubbing on my stomach that this was not good. However, I was committed and decided to "carry on". Afterward I felt things poking in my stomach, but I had a job to finish which included rebuilding a wall. I finished the flower bed and sat down on the front step with tweezers to remove the thorns from my hands. I lifted up my shirt and saw the little thorns, but there were so many and I was so overwhelmed I didn't know where to begin so I thought they would come out in a hot shower. NOT!!! The thorns are now embedded in my stomach marked only by little red dots. Don't worry the pain isn't bad unless my clothes rub on it or I bend over. I hope you're laughing. Today when I told my sister this problem I said, "I know you're laughing." She said, "I'm just shaking my head." You have to know this is really so funny because I have battled this cactus for five years at least and I should know the result. It's much the same way with weight loss. I know if I don't go to the gym the results will not be what I need. I know if I eat bad choices I will continue to get the same results. Yet, sometimes...we choose to do things the hard way when we already know the result. Many times we do things the hard way because we think it saves time and effort. But does it really???
Connection 5: Every journey has difficult portions. The Arizona bed is one of my favorite things when it is in full bloom. It has been a true challenge because of it's size. It requires continuous upkeep. Random things begin to grow in there and they start to take over. Every now and then I have to whip it back into shape. However, after giving it a little TLC it's stunning. Isn't this true of us? I know it is of me. Things tend to go along very well and then I hit a tough spot. Maybe it's getting a new exercise down or changing an eating habit. Once I push through that hard spot...sometimes it's grueling and I feel like I'm not going to make it...but once I do I begin to enjoy the journey again.
By the way, the rose was replanted. I'm hoping the paddle cactus is gone forever. I did go to the gym today. I was extremely sore already. Squatting, digging, and moving rock was quite the hefty workout yesterday!
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
BUSTED!!!
I was BUSTED last night when I walked into the gym. I was met by the gym owner. "So how have you been doing on working out since you aren't working out with Mike anymore?" Tears in my eyes "Uh...not so good." I haven't been going to the gym as regularly. To be honest, I haven't even been doing really good work outs while I'm there. I realize I've come too far to slip now and I told her that. The problem is I used to make sure I was getting the workouts in because if I didn't when it was time for my session with Mike I wouldn't be ready. Work has been CRAZY! I come home and I'm tired and so it's easier to skip the workout. Bottom Line: Sonya is now going to be my accountability partner. I'm going to be getting text messages to make sure I get to the gym.
Oral comps are this coming Saturday. Nervewracking to say the least. It's a pass or fail. I've been studying and studying and studying some more. When this is over there will be a huge sense of relief and I had already promised myself that working out would move into the number one priority spot.
I ran into my two friends at the gym last night who follow my blog. We've set somethings up to workout together. I can't wait!!! This will be great for me. We have a plan for next Monday. Stadium stairs and lunging!!!
I really think I should not have brought left over cake truffles and cupcakes home from Mom's birthday party. It's pretty easy to grab one when you are studying. I'm taking those truffles to work today.
So here's the really funny story of my gym experience in the past week. I walked in last Thursday and a friend decided to give me his own advice. He told me if I put the treadmill at a 45 degree angle at 4.0 mph I would burn close to 300 calories in 30 minutes. I said, "That's a great idea! I'm going to try it right now!" Have you ever watched someone fall off the back of a treadmill because they couldn't keep up with it? Almost...that was almost me! I guess that is another goal to work toward.
I really appreciate those who have reached out to me during this time of transition. I feel so loved and blessed to have you in my life. After my last blog, I received emails, texts, and phone calls. It was AMAZING! You all are the best and I will make it through this journey because of all of you!
Oral comps are this coming Saturday. Nervewracking to say the least. It's a pass or fail. I've been studying and studying and studying some more. When this is over there will be a huge sense of relief and I had already promised myself that working out would move into the number one priority spot.
I ran into my two friends at the gym last night who follow my blog. We've set somethings up to workout together. I can't wait!!! This will be great for me. We have a plan for next Monday. Stadium stairs and lunging!!!
I really think I should not have brought left over cake truffles and cupcakes home from Mom's birthday party. It's pretty easy to grab one when you are studying. I'm taking those truffles to work today.
So here's the really funny story of my gym experience in the past week. I walked in last Thursday and a friend decided to give me his own advice. He told me if I put the treadmill at a 45 degree angle at 4.0 mph I would burn close to 300 calories in 30 minutes. I said, "That's a great idea! I'm going to try it right now!" Have you ever watched someone fall off the back of a treadmill because they couldn't keep up with it? Almost...that was almost me! I guess that is another goal to work toward.
I really appreciate those who have reached out to me during this time of transition. I feel so loved and blessed to have you in my life. After my last blog, I received emails, texts, and phone calls. It was AMAZING! You all are the best and I will make it through this journey because of all of you!
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Ugh...
I have been blessed for the past 17 months to work with an AMAZING trainer and friend, Mike. He has helped me find something inside myself that I didn't know existed. I have struggled with weight my whole life. I had pretty much given up. Mike changed that for me and helped me realize that I do have a drive inside of me that will allow me to accomplish whatever I set my mind to. Not only has he helped me light this spark, he has made me laugh, he has seen me through tears, and has taught me exercises I didn't know existed. Most importantly, he has helped me lose inches and pounds and turn into a new person. There are no words to fully express my gratitude.
Yesterday, Mike and I decided that due to crazy schedules and other things we would halt our training sessions. I cried all the way home and off and on for most of the evening. As I posted on FB that I was going to have to start taking steps to climb what feels like a mountain before me, so many friends texted and called to make sure I was okay. I can't say that I am 100 percent okay right now. One of the most overwhelming feelings is fear because Mike has inspired and motivated me and I'm terrified of not having that on a weekly basis. I can't imagine enjoying working out as much and having a trainer is an automatic accountability measure because if you don't get into the gym and workout before your sessions you are doomed!
When I started this journey I never imagined I would see the results I have accomplished. I also thought that Mike and I would work out together until I at least reached my goal weight. There's a lot looming in front of me right now. I am preparing to defend my comps orally while at the same time writing my proposal so I can defend that. Not to mention so much going on at work. This past week has by far been the most emotional week I have had as a counselor. You would think I was making it all up. You wouldn't believe it if I tried to tell you what I have dealt with this past week. Through the craziness of life over the past few months working out with a trainer has become a sort of therapy in it's own way. I feel so alone right now.
Today as I was driving to the gym it occurred to me that I would be needing to make my own workout plan. I have not had to do this. It's what I've been paying for. I was trying to get my plan in my head when Rascal Flatts came on the radio (If you don't know, this is my FAVORITE band ever). "I Won't Let Go". This song started the tears flowing so hard that when I walked into the gym a guy asked me if I was okay. I mumbled yes and headed to the bathroom where I felt like puking. I pulled myself together and did an hour of cardio. There was no plan involved. Guess I need to figure that out for tomorrow. I would like to say I'm ready for this. I would like to say I'm excited about the challenge, but neither of those things would be true. I don't want to do it like this. I have no desire to do it like this at all. Feeling very overwhelmed and scared. And really quite weepy cuz I'm really sad.
Yesterday, Mike and I decided that due to crazy schedules and other things we would halt our training sessions. I cried all the way home and off and on for most of the evening. As I posted on FB that I was going to have to start taking steps to climb what feels like a mountain before me, so many friends texted and called to make sure I was okay. I can't say that I am 100 percent okay right now. One of the most overwhelming feelings is fear because Mike has inspired and motivated me and I'm terrified of not having that on a weekly basis. I can't imagine enjoying working out as much and having a trainer is an automatic accountability measure because if you don't get into the gym and workout before your sessions you are doomed!
When I started this journey I never imagined I would see the results I have accomplished. I also thought that Mike and I would work out together until I at least reached my goal weight. There's a lot looming in front of me right now. I am preparing to defend my comps orally while at the same time writing my proposal so I can defend that. Not to mention so much going on at work. This past week has by far been the most emotional week I have had as a counselor. You would think I was making it all up. You wouldn't believe it if I tried to tell you what I have dealt with this past week. Through the craziness of life over the past few months working out with a trainer has become a sort of therapy in it's own way. I feel so alone right now.
Today as I was driving to the gym it occurred to me that I would be needing to make my own workout plan. I have not had to do this. It's what I've been paying for. I was trying to get my plan in my head when Rascal Flatts came on the radio (If you don't know, this is my FAVORITE band ever). "I Won't Let Go". This song started the tears flowing so hard that when I walked into the gym a guy asked me if I was okay. I mumbled yes and headed to the bathroom where I felt like puking. I pulled myself together and did an hour of cardio. There was no plan involved. Guess I need to figure that out for tomorrow. I would like to say I'm ready for this. I would like to say I'm excited about the challenge, but neither of those things would be true. I don't want to do it like this. I have no desire to do it like this at all. Feeling very overwhelmed and scared. And really quite weepy cuz I'm really sad.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Follow up
Thank You for all of your support. You brought tears to my eyes. I've said it before and I will say it again. Without your love and support I would not be making so much progress in this transformation.
I'm still quite angry. However, after your posts, emails, and texts I've decided I do deserve to be treated with respect and I'm going not going to settle for less. I've started to put the wheels in motion to make some changes.
I wrote last night about the lack of respect and drama but I didn't mention the lying. I can't stand it when people lie to me. When they lie about me they have moved to a new level. Inexcusable. Ironically, as an elementary school counselor I have these discussions with students all the time. I speak to them about how lies affect their integrity. Why is it that some people never learn that lesson? I have to think one day it will catch up to them. It's so unfortunate. I have a no tolerance policy. The lies that have been told and accusations that have been made are unacceptable.
As I was focusing on this situation tonight at the gym, I ran farther and longer than I have before. It's my new personal record. I guess anger is good for something after all. Last night a friend posted "Don't let someone else steal your joy." Very true. I think I'm still in shock at being treated in this way and that's why the anger is there. As my friend Todd said today, "Intention doesn't mean much. It is in your action where your life changes."
Thanks again. You all are AMAZING. I'm off to bed now. A full moon day in an elementary school is a little crazy. I'm worn out...oh wait a minute...maybe it was the running... :)
I'm still quite angry. However, after your posts, emails, and texts I've decided I do deserve to be treated with respect and I'm going not going to settle for less. I've started to put the wheels in motion to make some changes.
I wrote last night about the lack of respect and drama but I didn't mention the lying. I can't stand it when people lie to me. When they lie about me they have moved to a new level. Inexcusable. Ironically, as an elementary school counselor I have these discussions with students all the time. I speak to them about how lies affect their integrity. Why is it that some people never learn that lesson? I have to think one day it will catch up to them. It's so unfortunate. I have a no tolerance policy. The lies that have been told and accusations that have been made are unacceptable.
As I was focusing on this situation tonight at the gym, I ran farther and longer than I have before. It's my new personal record. I guess anger is good for something after all. Last night a friend posted "Don't let someone else steal your joy." Very true. I think I'm still in shock at being treated in this way and that's why the anger is there. As my friend Todd said today, "Intention doesn't mean much. It is in your action where your life changes."
Thanks again. You all are AMAZING. I'm off to bed now. A full moon day in an elementary school is a little crazy. I'm worn out...oh wait a minute...maybe it was the running... :)
Monday, September 12, 2011
Kate Gosslein vs. Mrs. Duggar
I'm so angry and frustrated tonight I'm going crazy. The question is do I address the problem like Kate from Kate Plus 8 or like Mrs. Duggar from 19 Kids and Counting. In all fairness to the other party involved, I can't include all of the details on here. I felt the only thing to make me feel better would be to write and this is where I write. Here is the problem.
I don't do drama very well. When I was younger I was full of it. With maturity and the work I do, I no longer tolerate it because I don't have patience for it. I work with 330 students who have families with high needs. 70% of the families live in poverty. The stories I hear on a daily basis would scare and alarm most people. Part of my role is to work with a team to provide resources and problem solve, but most importantly make sure the student is safe and has their needs met so they can learn. Rarely do I have a day where I can be as proactive as I would like. For the most part, I am responding. My family and colleagues would tell you I'm passionate about my students. When people try to bring their drama to me, I walk away. No time and no energy.
A few weeks ago a situation arose that was full of drama. I explained to my friend how I felt. This person apologized to me and assured me I would never be part of it again. I made it very clear I wanted nothing to do with the third party who was the cause of the drama. Yet tonight this friend walked up to me with the third party like there had never been a problem. I can't tell you the thoughts that flashed through my brain. I seriously bit my tongue. The fact that there wasn't blood streaming down my face is a miracle. I know if I were Kate Gosslein I would have let everything rip! I feel like I've already tried the Mrs. Duggar approach. I've been forgiving and tolerated more than a lot of people would. I don't know how to make my point anymore clear. The difference in this situation and others is that this friend is important to me for many reasons. Yet, now I feel like the respect I have felt is not mutual. Perhaps it is time for me to move on.
Why am I sharing this on a weight loss blog? It's affecting my working out. It's interfering with the journey. This journey that I have become so passionate about. Now I'm getting so emotional I feel like throwing up and I'm crying. I have to figure out how to work through this. I cannot let someone else's decisions impact my work and my health. I am going to have to make a change. It's going to be difficult and I'm going to have to find a balance between Kate and Mrs. Duggar. I think I'm scared and emotional because I don't want to sever a friendship and I don't want to have to start over.
In figuring out exactly how to deal with this, I have to continue on with my working out. It might be different, but I've overcome a lot in this journey. This is just a small mountain on the route to the finish.
Seriously??? Why can't people just treat each other with respect??? Is it too much to ask??? UGH!!!
I don't do drama very well. When I was younger I was full of it. With maturity and the work I do, I no longer tolerate it because I don't have patience for it. I work with 330 students who have families with high needs. 70% of the families live in poverty. The stories I hear on a daily basis would scare and alarm most people. Part of my role is to work with a team to provide resources and problem solve, but most importantly make sure the student is safe and has their needs met so they can learn. Rarely do I have a day where I can be as proactive as I would like. For the most part, I am responding. My family and colleagues would tell you I'm passionate about my students. When people try to bring their drama to me, I walk away. No time and no energy.
A few weeks ago a situation arose that was full of drama. I explained to my friend how I felt. This person apologized to me and assured me I would never be part of it again. I made it very clear I wanted nothing to do with the third party who was the cause of the drama. Yet tonight this friend walked up to me with the third party like there had never been a problem. I can't tell you the thoughts that flashed through my brain. I seriously bit my tongue. The fact that there wasn't blood streaming down my face is a miracle. I know if I were Kate Gosslein I would have let everything rip! I feel like I've already tried the Mrs. Duggar approach. I've been forgiving and tolerated more than a lot of people would. I don't know how to make my point anymore clear. The difference in this situation and others is that this friend is important to me for many reasons. Yet, now I feel like the respect I have felt is not mutual. Perhaps it is time for me to move on.
Why am I sharing this on a weight loss blog? It's affecting my working out. It's interfering with the journey. This journey that I have become so passionate about. Now I'm getting so emotional I feel like throwing up and I'm crying. I have to figure out how to work through this. I cannot let someone else's decisions impact my work and my health. I am going to have to make a change. It's going to be difficult and I'm going to have to find a balance between Kate and Mrs. Duggar. I think I'm scared and emotional because I don't want to sever a friendship and I don't want to have to start over.
In figuring out exactly how to deal with this, I have to continue on with my working out. It might be different, but I've overcome a lot in this journey. This is just a small mountain on the route to the finish.
Seriously??? Why can't people just treat each other with respect??? Is it too much to ask??? UGH!!!
Thursday, September 8, 2011
The 40th Birthday Season
It happened! I turned 40 on August 25th. It was one of the best birthdays of my life!!! My friend Stephanie organized a birthday party for me and my friend Dan from Las Vegas. Rachel had already planned a birthday party in Spring Hill so Stephanie took advantage of the opportunity and had a different cake for each of us. Mine was a FOOT!!! Never in my life did I think I would eat a foot, but I have to say it was the best foot EVER!!! It was so yummy. The best part of the night was being with friends. So many people were congratulating me on my progress on my weight loss journey. That always makes me feel special.
The next week my sister threw me a party at Paint Glaze and Fire. It was an intimate setting with family and some close friends. Everyone painted a tile for me as we sat around a table laughing at our artistic weaknesses. Sandy made some of her famous cupcakes for the event. People thought she had bought them, but she hadn't and they tasted even better than they looked and they were gorgeous. Sandy is going to turn the tiles into a mirror. I can't wait to have it hanging on my wall. Later that night it was time for a family barbecue where we had more cupcakes and some fun family pics. I loved that evening. I am so blessed with my family. (And Sis sent me home with 11 cupcakes. Oh how I love the birthday season! I ate them all with no remorse. A girl only turns 40 once!)
Dave and I were planning on going out the night after my birthday because it was a Friday. Our good friends Bob and Shirley insisted we go to dinner that night. The morning of my birthday I received a phone call from someone who is very special to me and my friend Amy gave me the most humorous poem with gifts for each stanza such as depends, aspirin, muscle cream, and vitamins. It was so hysterical. All day long my phone was buzzing with FB updates. I didn't have time to look at FB until after dinner. I was crying so hard I couldn't speak. I know you are SHOCKED that Tammy was speechless, but I was. 147 posts on my birthday. Unbelievable. I am so blessed and so loved. One lucky gal I am.
Dave took me to see The Help. It was my second time and it was even better than the first. If you haven't read the book or seen the movie you need to. It's a GREAT story.
This past weekend we went to Dave's parents for my birthday. Another barbecue and my mother in law's chocolate cake. It is DIVINE! We brought some of that home. Truth be told, I am glad we have finished every last crumb. I have to get back to it.
I am having to push myself to get to the gym each night after work. I'm having difficulty getting back into the routine of work, workout, homework. I have finished my written comps, but orals are just around the corner. I am also very busy at work. I can't seem to complete my to do list. Honestly, sometimes I can't even get to the to do list. I ran tonight and it was a great feeling. However, the entire time I was thinking of everything I needed to do at home so there was this anxiety about it. I have to get over this feeling. I have to get back to the feeling that my fitness comes first. The birthday season is over and I have to continue working hard and making fitness a priority in order to stay healthy.
The past two times I have worked out with Trainer I have been so sore the next few days I couldn't believe it. As I was lunging last week with him he was talking to me about the importance of being sore. It means the muscles are growing. Okay,it's all well and fine until you try to sit on the toilet and tears come to your eyes.
One of the things I accomplished this summer was cleaning out my clothes. Eight bags!!!! Eight bags of clothes that are way too big. I am 8 sizes down since starting this journey. I tried on clothes that literally fell off. What a feeling! With that being said, "Movement is a medicine for creating change in a person's physical, emotional, and mental states." ~Carol Welch
Since I've started moving I have created such changes in my physical, emotional, and mental states. I have no intention of going back to the old me. I LOVE the new and improved me. A year and a half ago...I would have never said I love me because I was miserable. Thrilled with the decision to hire Trainer and the decisions I've been making since then. All of those decisions have added to the blessed feeling I have had during this amazing birthday season!
The next week my sister threw me a party at Paint Glaze and Fire. It was an intimate setting with family and some close friends. Everyone painted a tile for me as we sat around a table laughing at our artistic weaknesses. Sandy made some of her famous cupcakes for the event. People thought she had bought them, but she hadn't and they tasted even better than they looked and they were gorgeous. Sandy is going to turn the tiles into a mirror. I can't wait to have it hanging on my wall. Later that night it was time for a family barbecue where we had more cupcakes and some fun family pics. I loved that evening. I am so blessed with my family. (And Sis sent me home with 11 cupcakes. Oh how I love the birthday season! I ate them all with no remorse. A girl only turns 40 once!)
Dave and I were planning on going out the night after my birthday because it was a Friday. Our good friends Bob and Shirley insisted we go to dinner that night. The morning of my birthday I received a phone call from someone who is very special to me and my friend Amy gave me the most humorous poem with gifts for each stanza such as depends, aspirin, muscle cream, and vitamins. It was so hysterical. All day long my phone was buzzing with FB updates. I didn't have time to look at FB until after dinner. I was crying so hard I couldn't speak. I know you are SHOCKED that Tammy was speechless, but I was. 147 posts on my birthday. Unbelievable. I am so blessed and so loved. One lucky gal I am.
Dave took me to see The Help. It was my second time and it was even better than the first. If you haven't read the book or seen the movie you need to. It's a GREAT story.
This past weekend we went to Dave's parents for my birthday. Another barbecue and my mother in law's chocolate cake. It is DIVINE! We brought some of that home. Truth be told, I am glad we have finished every last crumb. I have to get back to it.
I am having to push myself to get to the gym each night after work. I'm having difficulty getting back into the routine of work, workout, homework. I have finished my written comps, but orals are just around the corner. I am also very busy at work. I can't seem to complete my to do list. Honestly, sometimes I can't even get to the to do list. I ran tonight and it was a great feeling. However, the entire time I was thinking of everything I needed to do at home so there was this anxiety about it. I have to get over this feeling. I have to get back to the feeling that my fitness comes first. The birthday season is over and I have to continue working hard and making fitness a priority in order to stay healthy.
The past two times I have worked out with Trainer I have been so sore the next few days I couldn't believe it. As I was lunging last week with him he was talking to me about the importance of being sore. It means the muscles are growing. Okay,it's all well and fine until you try to sit on the toilet and tears come to your eyes.
One of the things I accomplished this summer was cleaning out my clothes. Eight bags!!!! Eight bags of clothes that are way too big. I am 8 sizes down since starting this journey. I tried on clothes that literally fell off. What a feeling! With that being said, "Movement is a medicine for creating change in a person's physical, emotional, and mental states." ~Carol Welch
Since I've started moving I have created such changes in my physical, emotional, and mental states. I have no intention of going back to the old me. I LOVE the new and improved me. A year and a half ago...I would have never said I love me because I was miserable. Thrilled with the decision to hire Trainer and the decisions I've been making since then. All of those decisions have added to the blessed feeling I have had during this amazing birthday season!
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Oh Readers, I am so sorry I have been slacking on my blogging. I've spent most of the summer writing comps for my doctorate. At the end of an 8-10 day of writing, I do not want to touch another key on the keyboard. Usually my eyes hurt and there are no thoughts left in my head. By the end of this week, I will have uploaded the comps and will then start working on my dissertation proposal. There have been many times this summer that I have questioned my decision to become Dr. Bunch. Many times, indeed. I would be remiss if I did not take a moment to thank my wonderful husband for his support. He has been incredible during this process. He supported the idea to cancel our vacation to Colorado. While the mountain air would have been quite refreshing, we both knew I would not be able to relax. We spent a couple of days in Branson instead.
Now with all of this brain draining writing going on, I have still managed to get to the gym. Sometimes, I have actually promised myself something like this: "Finish this section and you can go work out." Going to the gym has been a great stress relief. I feel like I've slacked a bit. Trainer and I didn't see each other for almost a month during July. He was getting ready for a show and I've made it clear what I was doing. We couldn't get our schedules coordinated and when he is close to a show, it is completely necessary for him to focus on himself.
Needless to say, when we met again last week I was feeling a tad nervous. It was like the first time all over again. I made it through and was pretty proud of myself. Afterward he said, "We took it a little easy today since this was the first time back." Astonishment overcame me. It didn't feel like we were taking it easy!!!
A couple of other really inspiring things have happened recently. Last Saturday night I was invited to a birthday party for a friend from high school. I didn't know that this was a surprise party for myself and another friend. We are the two youngest in our class. We have watched all year as our classmates have turned 40 and now it's about our turn. The party was incredible. Stephanie had flown here from Las Vegas and had a cake made for each of us. Mine was in the shape of a foot (you all know how I feel about feet) complete with toe hair! Never did I imagine a foot could taste so good. Nothing like white birthday cake! At the party I had so many people tell me how amazing I look. After a summer of feeling like I haven't been hitting the physical part of my journey hard enough, this really boosted my spirits.
I've been unofficially back to work for the last three weeks. Tomorrow the contract actually begins, but there's too much to do to wait until then. Anyway, as I've been seeing people throughout our district, they've been recognizing my efforts too. WOW!!! It makes me feel so good.
Over the last week as I've been trying to get some things done around the house that had been neglected (My friend Amy thinks this is my way of procrastinating. I agreed with her, but it's also the result of all the Hoarders and Hoarders: Buried Alive that I watch!), I've been cleaning out closets and such. 8 bags of clothes to go to a thrift store. 8!!! Yes, I had a lot of clothes, but I had not done anything with the ones that were too big until this past week. So long..ain't goin back there no more!
The most touching thing that has recently happened was last night at the gym. A friend of mine recently joined and came in at the same time I was working out. When I finished, I was chatting with her and she introduced me to a friend of hers. Turns out my friend had referred this other friend to my blog. The "new" friend knew the exact date of my last entry. Most of the time when I'm blogging, I don't think anyone even cares about it. So for her to know this tugged at my heart. They proceeded to tell me what an inspiration I've been to them. WHOAAAA!!!! When people tell me things like this, it makes me work even harder. It makes my journey of weight loss even more meaningful. Weight is something that so many of us battle and we all know how hard it is. J and B, thank you! Your honesty and compliments are a encouragement to me like you can't believe. Go Forth and conquer one step at a time! I will support you however I can.
One of the questions that arose in our conversation last night at the gym was "How do you run?" I am not the runner I want to be. I had hoped to shave two minutes off my mile by my birthday. Let me just say that even though the gym is air conditioned, when I walk in there on a 100+ degree day, running is not my first choice. I started running because my trainer made me. I would rather run sprints than distance. I would rather run off the treadmill than on. After visiting my massage therapist for several sessions of bad low back pain, I learned I can run better if I stretch before and after. Other than that, it's a mind game. I give myself a two minute warm up and then go for it. Sometimes, I make it to a half mile, other times I make it to a quarter of a mile before I need to walk for a minute. The things that go through my head while running are NEVER "Oh I like this. Oh I want to run a marathon." They are usually, "Tammy go just a little further." "You are burning a lot of calories." "Come on Tammy, you can do this. You did it yesterday." On days when I'm feeling really stressed about things it might be "You stupid treadmill, I'm going to win today." No matter what my thoughts are, the way I run is one step at a time, one day at a time....
Now with all of this brain draining writing going on, I have still managed to get to the gym. Sometimes, I have actually promised myself something like this: "Finish this section and you can go work out." Going to the gym has been a great stress relief. I feel like I've slacked a bit. Trainer and I didn't see each other for almost a month during July. He was getting ready for a show and I've made it clear what I was doing. We couldn't get our schedules coordinated and when he is close to a show, it is completely necessary for him to focus on himself.
Needless to say, when we met again last week I was feeling a tad nervous. It was like the first time all over again. I made it through and was pretty proud of myself. Afterward he said, "We took it a little easy today since this was the first time back." Astonishment overcame me. It didn't feel like we were taking it easy!!!
A couple of other really inspiring things have happened recently. Last Saturday night I was invited to a birthday party for a friend from high school. I didn't know that this was a surprise party for myself and another friend. We are the two youngest in our class. We have watched all year as our classmates have turned 40 and now it's about our turn. The party was incredible. Stephanie had flown here from Las Vegas and had a cake made for each of us. Mine was in the shape of a foot (you all know how I feel about feet) complete with toe hair! Never did I imagine a foot could taste so good. Nothing like white birthday cake! At the party I had so many people tell me how amazing I look. After a summer of feeling like I haven't been hitting the physical part of my journey hard enough, this really boosted my spirits.
I've been unofficially back to work for the last three weeks. Tomorrow the contract actually begins, but there's too much to do to wait until then. Anyway, as I've been seeing people throughout our district, they've been recognizing my efforts too. WOW!!! It makes me feel so good.
Over the last week as I've been trying to get some things done around the house that had been neglected (My friend Amy thinks this is my way of procrastinating. I agreed with her, but it's also the result of all the Hoarders and Hoarders: Buried Alive that I watch!), I've been cleaning out closets and such. 8 bags of clothes to go to a thrift store. 8!!! Yes, I had a lot of clothes, but I had not done anything with the ones that were too big until this past week. So long..ain't goin back there no more!
The most touching thing that has recently happened was last night at the gym. A friend of mine recently joined and came in at the same time I was working out. When I finished, I was chatting with her and she introduced me to a friend of hers. Turns out my friend had referred this other friend to my blog. The "new" friend knew the exact date of my last entry. Most of the time when I'm blogging, I don't think anyone even cares about it. So for her to know this tugged at my heart. They proceeded to tell me what an inspiration I've been to them. WHOAAAA!!!! When people tell me things like this, it makes me work even harder. It makes my journey of weight loss even more meaningful. Weight is something that so many of us battle and we all know how hard it is. J and B, thank you! Your honesty and compliments are a encouragement to me like you can't believe. Go Forth and conquer one step at a time! I will support you however I can.
One of the questions that arose in our conversation last night at the gym was "How do you run?" I am not the runner I want to be. I had hoped to shave two minutes off my mile by my birthday. Let me just say that even though the gym is air conditioned, when I walk in there on a 100+ degree day, running is not my first choice. I started running because my trainer made me. I would rather run sprints than distance. I would rather run off the treadmill than on. After visiting my massage therapist for several sessions of bad low back pain, I learned I can run better if I stretch before and after. Other than that, it's a mind game. I give myself a two minute warm up and then go for it. Sometimes, I make it to a half mile, other times I make it to a quarter of a mile before I need to walk for a minute. The things that go through my head while running are NEVER "Oh I like this. Oh I want to run a marathon." They are usually, "Tammy go just a little further." "You are burning a lot of calories." "Come on Tammy, you can do this. You did it yesterday." On days when I'm feeling really stressed about things it might be "You stupid treadmill, I'm going to win today." No matter what my thoughts are, the way I run is one step at a time, one day at a time....
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Stupid Comps
These comps I'm required to write and submit by August 31st are taking entirely too much of my time. I was hoping to increase the workout time at the gym. Well that hasn't happened. I did finish the first paper on Sunday night. This was after a month of kinda writing it and four days of my butt glued to the chair with my laptop. If one were to walk in they would think the absent minded professor had taken over. I have books and articles spread around me, my hair is in all sorts of disarray, and I'm talking to myself. Saturday night as I was going to bed I was in tears because I hadn't finished and I could barely stand another day with the paper. Yet, that's what happened on Sunday. I spent another day with the paper. I went to bed Sunday night after a brief happy dance around the house where the cats looked at me like I had lost my mind. So after another of my colleagues provides her edit and I make a few changes, the Connection Statement should be a thing of the past until I have to orally defend it, of course.
I have been making it to the gym. The problem lies in the process of writing. If you are a writer you know what I'm talking about. Once you get going, you can't just stop. It's not something you can pick up and work on here and there for an hour or so at a time. You need large blocks of time to devote in order to get the thought processes working. What I'm trying to say is, even though I'm working out...I'm not getting all of my food in. The other day I started feeling sick to my stomach (TRAINER, Please, please, please do not yell at me after you read this), I realized I hadn't eaten in six hours. Sometimes I think I just need someone here making my meals and serving them to me at the appropriate time, but I'm not a superstar so that's not going to happen.
Okay the really exciting thing about my going to the gym is my new relationship with the treadmill. I have now shaved four minutes off of my mile. REMEMBER when I started I couldn't run an entire mile without stopping and insisting that I was going toward the light. Now I can run a mile and each time I get on there it's a challenge to knock some time off. I am so competitive with myself. Several times this has ended up in me at a full sprint for the last three minutes in order to reach a new goal, but hey I'm not complaining. I think the biggest change has been in the way I approach this. I do the elliptical for 5-10 minutes and then I stretch. Now when I run I don't get the leg and back pain I was getting before. I realize some of you athletic people are saying..."DUH!" We all have to start somewhere and learn things in different ways. Usually when I'm experiencing pain, I will learn a technique to lessen the pain. My technique is ON FIRE right now. I'm loving it. The scales are going down slowly, but they are going down.
Let me share my other new form of exercise with you. I grew up in a family with a Grandpa who LOVED to garden. That man planted more green beans and tomatoes than one could fathom. I wish we had pics of his garden. Once the beans came on, every Sunday the whole family would go up there and pick green beans for hours while Grandma cooked our fried chicken dinner. After dinner we sat out in the yard (no matter how hot it was because there was no air and they had a lovely shaded backyard) and snapped the green beans. On Monday morning mom woke Sandy and I up early and it was back to Grandma and Grandpa's. The three of us together with the two of them would can green beans for hours in a hot kitchen. Later in the season came the canning of tomatoes. It was nothing to have 80 quarts of each by the end of the summer. Grandpa had lived through the depression and he didn't want his kids to ever go hungry. So we all had beans and tomatoes. I wish I had some of his beets. YUMMO! I didn't appreciate them then, but I do now.
One of the requirements I had when we bought a house was a yard big enough that I could put in a garden. Over the years the garden has grown. I'll post some pics. I picked a bushel of green beans this week and on Friday I'll be picking again and yes there are still more blooms. Looking at the amount of cherry tomatoes and cucumbers we have on the vines just makes me smile. My dad and I used to sit in our landlord's garden (he planted huge amounts just for the fun of it because his wife wouldn't let him bring any of it home) and eat the cherry tomatoes out of the garden until we were sick. I sent Dad a picture of my cherry tomato plants and told him I'm going to need him over here soon. The cucumbers are winding through the whole garden and the vines are loaded. The regular tomato plants aren't looking too bad either. And for the first year EVER, I have green peppers. Not on all of the plants. I'm trying to figure this out. Also, this asparagus has me baffled but I will figure it out.
Anyway, Trainer says that for each hour I'm in the garden I'm burning 200 calories. Please know the weeds are disappearing quickly. That's an easy way to burn off calories. I'm taking full advantage of the situation!
I do hope to start writing more frequently, at least back to the once a week that I was logging, but the comps and garden have been taking up a lot of free time.
Until next time...
I hope to get back in the habit of writing every week.
I have been making it to the gym. The problem lies in the process of writing. If you are a writer you know what I'm talking about. Once you get going, you can't just stop. It's not something you can pick up and work on here and there for an hour or so at a time. You need large blocks of time to devote in order to get the thought processes working. What I'm trying to say is, even though I'm working out...I'm not getting all of my food in. The other day I started feeling sick to my stomach (TRAINER, Please, please, please do not yell at me after you read this), I realized I hadn't eaten in six hours. Sometimes I think I just need someone here making my meals and serving them to me at the appropriate time, but I'm not a superstar so that's not going to happen.
Okay the really exciting thing about my going to the gym is my new relationship with the treadmill. I have now shaved four minutes off of my mile. REMEMBER when I started I couldn't run an entire mile without stopping and insisting that I was going toward the light. Now I can run a mile and each time I get on there it's a challenge to knock some time off. I am so competitive with myself. Several times this has ended up in me at a full sprint for the last three minutes in order to reach a new goal, but hey I'm not complaining. I think the biggest change has been in the way I approach this. I do the elliptical for 5-10 minutes and then I stretch. Now when I run I don't get the leg and back pain I was getting before. I realize some of you athletic people are saying..."DUH!" We all have to start somewhere and learn things in different ways. Usually when I'm experiencing pain, I will learn a technique to lessen the pain. My technique is ON FIRE right now. I'm loving it. The scales are going down slowly, but they are going down.
Let me share my other new form of exercise with you. I grew up in a family with a Grandpa who LOVED to garden. That man planted more green beans and tomatoes than one could fathom. I wish we had pics of his garden. Once the beans came on, every Sunday the whole family would go up there and pick green beans for hours while Grandma cooked our fried chicken dinner. After dinner we sat out in the yard (no matter how hot it was because there was no air and they had a lovely shaded backyard) and snapped the green beans. On Monday morning mom woke Sandy and I up early and it was back to Grandma and Grandpa's. The three of us together with the two of them would can green beans for hours in a hot kitchen. Later in the season came the canning of tomatoes. It was nothing to have 80 quarts of each by the end of the summer. Grandpa had lived through the depression and he didn't want his kids to ever go hungry. So we all had beans and tomatoes. I wish I had some of his beets. YUMMO! I didn't appreciate them then, but I do now.
One of the requirements I had when we bought a house was a yard big enough that I could put in a garden. Over the years the garden has grown. I'll post some pics. I picked a bushel of green beans this week and on Friday I'll be picking again and yes there are still more blooms. Looking at the amount of cherry tomatoes and cucumbers we have on the vines just makes me smile. My dad and I used to sit in our landlord's garden (he planted huge amounts just for the fun of it because his wife wouldn't let him bring any of it home) and eat the cherry tomatoes out of the garden until we were sick. I sent Dad a picture of my cherry tomato plants and told him I'm going to need him over here soon. The cucumbers are winding through the whole garden and the vines are loaded. The regular tomato plants aren't looking too bad either. And for the first year EVER, I have green peppers. Not on all of the plants. I'm trying to figure this out. Also, this asparagus has me baffled but I will figure it out.
Anyway, Trainer says that for each hour I'm in the garden I'm burning 200 calories. Please know the weeds are disappearing quickly. That's an easy way to burn off calories. I'm taking full advantage of the situation!
I do hope to start writing more frequently, at least back to the once a week that I was logging, but the comps and garden have been taking up a lot of free time.
Until next time...
I hope to get back in the habit of writing every week.
Sunday, June 19, 2011
State of Mind
Celebrate Good Times Come On!!! Tonight I was at the gym early before my session with Trainer so I thought I would "warm up". I did five minutes on the elliptical and then some stretching. Thought I would give the treadmill a try. I did my quickest mile to date. I must say when I realized this was a possibility I cranked the treadmill up and was running pretty fast to come in at the time I wanted. My goal is to shave three minutes off of this by the end of the summer. It's going to require some intense mind over matter, self talking type therapy, but I can do this. It's a state of mind.
I took a week off from the gym. Do you know what an IT band is? I didn't until about six weeks ago. The iliotibial (IT) band is a tough group of fibers that run along the outside of your thigh. Your butt muscles attach to the top and it goes to just below the knee. Mine are really really tight. Because of this, I have low back pain, knee pain, groin pain, and hamstring pain. My massage therapist and chiropractor have been working on them to help loosen things up. My husband has been GREAT about helping me stretch every night. The left side has been far worse than the right side. In addition to stretching there has been lots of ice involved which isn't so bad in the summer.
Last Thursday I met with Trainer and I was in a funk. I'm aspiring to be a school principal. There have been very few jobs open this year. Two within driving distance to be exact. It came down to me and another candidate for one of the positions. I had three incredible interviews. One of those interviews was with eight people. I had them laughing in minutes. I know you are shocked. Anyway, right before my workout I found out I didn't get the job. I'm pretty tough and told myself this was "meant to be" and "God has a different plan". Now let me just tell you...in our workout history, there have been very few times...maybe only one or two to be exact...that I have refused to do what Trainer has told me to do. I have argued and whined, but I don't refuse. I figure he is the expert and if he tells me to do something I better figure it out. Thursday night I found myself refusing to do what he told me at the very beginning of the workout. He figured out a different plan which was very challenging. About half way through the workout I said, "I know why I never refuse to do what you tell me to. If I do, you make everything else way harder." According to him the jumping on and off a running treadmill is something I've done before. I have...I just don't remember doing it when the treadmill was going that fast. He wanted to know what was different and I started to cry and said "I felt like a loser when I walked in here tonight." I made a quick recovery and started jumping rope. I mean I can't have a complete break down on the poor guy. He puts up with enough from me. However, he was very compassionate and encouraging. He has counselor skills. I'm not kidding. My point in sharing this story is that I was not aware of how that defeat was going to affect my performance. I really thought I was okay. And it wasn't even that first thing I refused to do...the whole night I struggled with everything. Working out is not just about going through the motions...you have to have your head in the game. It's a state of mind.
(By the way...I do realize my time will come for administration and I'm really okay now. I just hadn't had time to process the initial disappointment before my workout.)
This summer has started off soooo busy. I'm teaching summer school which I LOVE. (My students know all about Trainer Mike because I have them during the school year and I've come in very sore a couple of times. After a night of doing squats and lunges, one shouldn't try and sit on the floor for a community circle and think one is going to get right back up without a grunt or a groan. Just sayin. I've also had them do math problems regarding my workouts. Now they ask me what I'm eating for lunch and want to know what I had for breakfast to make sure I'm on track. They are soooo cute!) I'm having a difficult time getting started on comps. However, I did get going this weekend. I just have to keep up the momentum. The deal is I've been struggling to get in a groove on anything. I've dreaded going to the gym which is unusual for me. I just can't find time to finish anything. Tonight my running success was just what I needed to get me wanting more. This was a place I needed to find...and now that I have...WATCH OUT!!! I'm in the state of mind.
I took a week off from the gym. Do you know what an IT band is? I didn't until about six weeks ago. The iliotibial (IT) band is a tough group of fibers that run along the outside of your thigh. Your butt muscles attach to the top and it goes to just below the knee. Mine are really really tight. Because of this, I have low back pain, knee pain, groin pain, and hamstring pain. My massage therapist and chiropractor have been working on them to help loosen things up. My husband has been GREAT about helping me stretch every night. The left side has been far worse than the right side. In addition to stretching there has been lots of ice involved which isn't so bad in the summer.
Last Thursday I met with Trainer and I was in a funk. I'm aspiring to be a school principal. There have been very few jobs open this year. Two within driving distance to be exact. It came down to me and another candidate for one of the positions. I had three incredible interviews. One of those interviews was with eight people. I had them laughing in minutes. I know you are shocked. Anyway, right before my workout I found out I didn't get the job. I'm pretty tough and told myself this was "meant to be" and "God has a different plan". Now let me just tell you...in our workout history, there have been very few times...maybe only one or two to be exact...that I have refused to do what Trainer has told me to do. I have argued and whined, but I don't refuse. I figure he is the expert and if he tells me to do something I better figure it out. Thursday night I found myself refusing to do what he told me at the very beginning of the workout. He figured out a different plan which was very challenging. About half way through the workout I said, "I know why I never refuse to do what you tell me to. If I do, you make everything else way harder." According to him the jumping on and off a running treadmill is something I've done before. I have...I just don't remember doing it when the treadmill was going that fast. He wanted to know what was different and I started to cry and said "I felt like a loser when I walked in here tonight." I made a quick recovery and started jumping rope. I mean I can't have a complete break down on the poor guy. He puts up with enough from me. However, he was very compassionate and encouraging. He has counselor skills. I'm not kidding. My point in sharing this story is that I was not aware of how that defeat was going to affect my performance. I really thought I was okay. And it wasn't even that first thing I refused to do...the whole night I struggled with everything. Working out is not just about going through the motions...you have to have your head in the game. It's a state of mind.
(By the way...I do realize my time will come for administration and I'm really okay now. I just hadn't had time to process the initial disappointment before my workout.)
This summer has started off soooo busy. I'm teaching summer school which I LOVE. (My students know all about Trainer Mike because I have them during the school year and I've come in very sore a couple of times. After a night of doing squats and lunges, one shouldn't try and sit on the floor for a community circle and think one is going to get right back up without a grunt or a groan. Just sayin. I've also had them do math problems regarding my workouts. Now they ask me what I'm eating for lunch and want to know what I had for breakfast to make sure I'm on track. They are soooo cute!) I'm having a difficult time getting started on comps. However, I did get going this weekend. I just have to keep up the momentum. The deal is I've been struggling to get in a groove on anything. I've dreaded going to the gym which is unusual for me. I just can't find time to finish anything. Tonight my running success was just what I needed to get me wanting more. This was a place I needed to find...and now that I have...WATCH OUT!!! I'm in the state of mind.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
It's the Real Deal
Have you ever felt so overwhelmed the only thing you wanted to do was cry? That's me this week. Not enough time to get everything finished I need to get finished or started. Comps are due August 31 and I haven't started. I haven't even met with my group the last two Wednesdays. Stephanie, if you are reading this you have to hold me accountable for this week. I have to get started on this. When I think about it I sorta freak out. I do not know where to begin. I can't even get organized to start.
I'm also trying to finish out one school year and start summer school. I had a complete crying break down in my office yesterday afternoon and just kept crying all night. I couldn't stop. It's not only that I am behind and can't get caught up. It's a situation with one of my students that has broken my heart. I want to snap my fingers and make it all better and I can't. Add to that a friend who lost her mind with me. She has taken on this attitude with me and others over the last few weeks. I've been trying to give her the benefit of the doubt, but yesterday she said some things about me that weren't true and she said them to a group of people. Sooo... Bunchy don't have time or patience for middle school drama. Movin on!!!
Tonight I almost started crying when working out with Trainer Mike. Partially because he made me run up that big hill 6 times and I thought I was going to puke and partially because I am so frustrated with the stupid scale. He says not to worry about it that we are focusing on inches. How can I not look at the number on the scale? He will ask my weight. I did get a nice and I mean very nice lecture on only getting on the scale every other Monday morning. The deal is the scales went up 4 pounds this week. Mike says it's salt and water. He said, "Not pooping can cause you to gain three pounds." He says not to be worried, but I said with tears in my eyes "I'm not going to make my goal for my birthday." Then I just left the gym. Guess I need to work harder. It always seems like I need to work harder. It never seems like I'm doing enough. Tears are coming again.
We started this new diet last week. Carbs were added back in. Very limited carbs. Wanna hear the ironic part? A couple of weeks ago when I was an emotional eater...now I'm so stressed I have to force myself to eat. WHY WHY WHY does eating have to be an everyday struggle for me??? I love the gym. It's my escape. A whole year with my trainer and I still struggle with eating. I need it to be not so difficult. I think it feels even more challenging right now because of everything else going on.
So last Sunday's workout left me sore for several days. I'm actually going for a visit with my massage therapist tomorrow. I went to my chiropractor earlier this week and she said, "What in the world have you done?" Me: "I do not have a clue." It's my low back, knee, and shoulder. I really can't wait to see Rita tomorrow. Most of the week I have been in pain and using ice.
Running the hill tonight reminded me how much workouts in nice weather can suck. I have to get better at the hill. I was mad because it was so hard for me. UGH! We followed running with lifting with some heavy weights. I nearly bit it with floor presses. Tonight was a night in the gym when I didn't feel like I could do anything right. Usually I walk away from a workout with Trainer feeling like I kicked it, but tonight I just didn't feel that way. I felt like I couldn't do anything right. Interesting...
I try to keep this blog real, but fun and positive. Tonight it was real. I do admit. I'm struggling. I can't pretend everything is okay when it's not.
I'm also trying to finish out one school year and start summer school. I had a complete crying break down in my office yesterday afternoon and just kept crying all night. I couldn't stop. It's not only that I am behind and can't get caught up. It's a situation with one of my students that has broken my heart. I want to snap my fingers and make it all better and I can't. Add to that a friend who lost her mind with me. She has taken on this attitude with me and others over the last few weeks. I've been trying to give her the benefit of the doubt, but yesterday she said some things about me that weren't true and she said them to a group of people. Sooo... Bunchy don't have time or patience for middle school drama. Movin on!!!
Tonight I almost started crying when working out with Trainer Mike. Partially because he made me run up that big hill 6 times and I thought I was going to puke and partially because I am so frustrated with the stupid scale. He says not to worry about it that we are focusing on inches. How can I not look at the number on the scale? He will ask my weight. I did get a nice and I mean very nice lecture on only getting on the scale every other Monday morning. The deal is the scales went up 4 pounds this week. Mike says it's salt and water. He said, "Not pooping can cause you to gain three pounds." He says not to be worried, but I said with tears in my eyes "I'm not going to make my goal for my birthday." Then I just left the gym. Guess I need to work harder. It always seems like I need to work harder. It never seems like I'm doing enough. Tears are coming again.
We started this new diet last week. Carbs were added back in. Very limited carbs. Wanna hear the ironic part? A couple of weeks ago when I was an emotional eater...now I'm so stressed I have to force myself to eat. WHY WHY WHY does eating have to be an everyday struggle for me??? I love the gym. It's my escape. A whole year with my trainer and I still struggle with eating. I need it to be not so difficult. I think it feels even more challenging right now because of everything else going on.
So last Sunday's workout left me sore for several days. I'm actually going for a visit with my massage therapist tomorrow. I went to my chiropractor earlier this week and she said, "What in the world have you done?" Me: "I do not have a clue." It's my low back, knee, and shoulder. I really can't wait to see Rita tomorrow. Most of the week I have been in pain and using ice.
Running the hill tonight reminded me how much workouts in nice weather can suck. I have to get better at the hill. I was mad because it was so hard for me. UGH! We followed running with lifting with some heavy weights. I nearly bit it with floor presses. Tonight was a night in the gym when I didn't feel like I could do anything right. Usually I walk away from a workout with Trainer feeling like I kicked it, but tonight I just didn't feel that way. I felt like I couldn't do anything right. Interesting...
I try to keep this blog real, but fun and positive. Tonight it was real. I do admit. I'm struggling. I can't pretend everything is okay when it's not.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Eat More Eggs Eat More Chicken Be More Sore
WOW! A lot has been going on in the past few days. I guess I'll start at the beginning. Four years ago I presented the idea to start a 5k for our district to our Education Foundation. With a small committee of two other people we started a tradition. This past Saturday was our fourth annual 5k. It takes a lot of planning, but is a great event. All of our walkers and runners came crossed the finish line in under and hour. Pretty good especially since this was our hilliest course.
Later on Saturday I went to a graduation party for the son of a very special friend. I remember going to the hospital the day this boy was born. He is now a graduate. It was great seeing friends and catching up a bit. I do have to say (and you all know how this is...eventually we have to talk about the food)those southwest chicken eggrolls....YUMMO! And the graduation cake??? DELISH!!! Don't worry I had talked in advance with trainer about this. It was approved.
Sunday was a hectic day. Running errands in the morning and then preparing for the graduation of a very special girl. In November of 1993 I became a nanny for Emily. She was six months old. When I took this job I thought it was just a job. I had no idea it would change my life. I stayed with the Emily until she was three and a half and I needed to decide what I was going to be when I grew up. However, I continued to have contact with Emily and her family. Emily and I went to the petting zoo and lunch, movies and lunch, the mall. I stayed with her when her parents took a rare opportunity to go out of town for a weekend. Even as she grew older and I figured she would want nothing more to do with me...we still spent time together. So imagine the emotion of going to graduation. I called her mom the night before and she had been crying as well. We both agreed we hadn't anticipated this emotion. Graduation was wonderful and emotional. I'm so proud of the person Emily has become. After some pics, Emily's mom, Ann gave me a hug and told me thanks. I can't even type this without crying. She said, "No I mean thanks for everything. She wouldn't be who she is had she not had you." Later, Emily's Dad, Dan reminded me that I am family. These people are such an important part of my life.
I returned home from graduation and an hour later the news hit that Joplin, Missouri had been hit by a tornado. The last I heard it was an F5. The latest death count was 122. I can't imagine what these people are going through, yet I can think of little else. Today we were expected to have a tornado outbreak over the Kansas City area. We did get a horrible thunderstorm around 1:00. And it's storming again. Tornado watch until 3:00 a.m. Now I'm sitting here typing in the dark while I have battery left.
Well...it's a day later...the power went out last night and I guess I don't have Internet in a power outage! A tornado outbreak did occur over Kansas City today with a touch down in Sedalia. We spent two hours in the bathroom as the sirens sounded. It was draining, but I have to say I am happy that I was with kids. I hope I helped them feel safe. It was unnerving. Trying to remain calm, imagining pics you've seen recently in the news, and hearing the sirens over head.
Tonight I had a conversation with a friend who is a police officer in Ozark. They have been sending crews to Joplin. I had no words. I feel like a failure little bit. He wasn't himself. He kept saying "Tammy it's the worst thing I've ever seen. You aren't seeing everything on the news. You can't imagine." I wish I would have known what to say. It feels hopeless. As he said, "Right now there is no light at the end of the tunnel for them." Very disheartening.
Let's talk about yesterday's workout and the pain I am still feeling. Trainer Mike started the workout different than we've ever started before. We started with crunches, rolled over into pushups, jumped into frog hoppers, lept into a sprint and finished with jumping jacks. We repeated this three times. Then there were some declined bench presses. I was lying upside down and had to bench press. Once I assured myself that I was not going to fall off the bench and onto my head it was all good. We also did some work with the leg press where I could never go as low as Trainer Mike wanted me to. He kept saying lower, lower, lower and I was trying I really was, but seriously. So then we did dead lifts in a slightly different manner. I stood on a bench with the weights in my hands and bent over to touch the floor with the weights. Trainer says this is a good exercise for girls and their rears. Two days later and my rear is still sore so evidently he is right on. As he had me grab the weights for floor presses and I was getting into position he said, "You are the only one of my clients that will do these." This caused me to chuckle and nearly knock myself in the head with the weight. I said, "Why am I the only one?" "They just tell me they aren't doing it. And it's one of my favorite exercises." I never knew it was an option to tell him no. I think I've only done that twice, but mostly I just do what he says cause he's the boss. For our last exercise of the evening Trainer picked up a 50 pound barbell and told me to follow him. We went to the end of the gym and he offered to help put the barbell on my neck. This is when I realized my trainer is brave. I always talk about how scary he is, but he put that on my neck and walked right beside me as I lunged down and back twice. Then he took it off of my neck. I told him it was brave based on my stability issues. He chuckled and said I'm no longer a baby ninja. Or a baby panda if you have watched that movie which I have not. Anyway, his point was that I am not skilled by any means, but I have made progress.
We had quite the discussion of my level of soreness and Trainer thinks I should be more sore. When you are sore it means the muscles are growing. So we increased my chicken and eggs the day of my workout with Trainer. There is some sort of acid in these two foods that is supposed to do something to the muscle fibers so that I will be sore and they will be growing. Moving on people...movin on...I have a weight loss goal to reach by the 40th birthday which is rapidly approaching. No time for cheating. No time for slacking. Got to hit it hard every day. No mercy!
Later on Saturday I went to a graduation party for the son of a very special friend. I remember going to the hospital the day this boy was born. He is now a graduate. It was great seeing friends and catching up a bit. I do have to say (and you all know how this is...eventually we have to talk about the food)those southwest chicken eggrolls....YUMMO! And the graduation cake??? DELISH!!! Don't worry I had talked in advance with trainer about this. It was approved.
Sunday was a hectic day. Running errands in the morning and then preparing for the graduation of a very special girl. In November of 1993 I became a nanny for Emily. She was six months old. When I took this job I thought it was just a job. I had no idea it would change my life. I stayed with the Emily until she was three and a half and I needed to decide what I was going to be when I grew up. However, I continued to have contact with Emily and her family. Emily and I went to the petting zoo and lunch, movies and lunch, the mall. I stayed with her when her parents took a rare opportunity to go out of town for a weekend. Even as she grew older and I figured she would want nothing more to do with me...we still spent time together. So imagine the emotion of going to graduation. I called her mom the night before and she had been crying as well. We both agreed we hadn't anticipated this emotion. Graduation was wonderful and emotional. I'm so proud of the person Emily has become. After some pics, Emily's mom, Ann gave me a hug and told me thanks. I can't even type this without crying. She said, "No I mean thanks for everything. She wouldn't be who she is had she not had you." Later, Emily's Dad, Dan reminded me that I am family. These people are such an important part of my life.
I returned home from graduation and an hour later the news hit that Joplin, Missouri had been hit by a tornado. The last I heard it was an F5. The latest death count was 122. I can't imagine what these people are going through, yet I can think of little else. Today we were expected to have a tornado outbreak over the Kansas City area. We did get a horrible thunderstorm around 1:00. And it's storming again. Tornado watch until 3:00 a.m. Now I'm sitting here typing in the dark while I have battery left.
Well...it's a day later...the power went out last night and I guess I don't have Internet in a power outage! A tornado outbreak did occur over Kansas City today with a touch down in Sedalia. We spent two hours in the bathroom as the sirens sounded. It was draining, but I have to say I am happy that I was with kids. I hope I helped them feel safe. It was unnerving. Trying to remain calm, imagining pics you've seen recently in the news, and hearing the sirens over head.
Tonight I had a conversation with a friend who is a police officer in Ozark. They have been sending crews to Joplin. I had no words. I feel like a failure little bit. He wasn't himself. He kept saying "Tammy it's the worst thing I've ever seen. You aren't seeing everything on the news. You can't imagine." I wish I would have known what to say. It feels hopeless. As he said, "Right now there is no light at the end of the tunnel for them." Very disheartening.
Let's talk about yesterday's workout and the pain I am still feeling. Trainer Mike started the workout different than we've ever started before. We started with crunches, rolled over into pushups, jumped into frog hoppers, lept into a sprint and finished with jumping jacks. We repeated this three times. Then there were some declined bench presses. I was lying upside down and had to bench press. Once I assured myself that I was not going to fall off the bench and onto my head it was all good. We also did some work with the leg press where I could never go as low as Trainer Mike wanted me to. He kept saying lower, lower, lower and I was trying I really was, but seriously. So then we did dead lifts in a slightly different manner. I stood on a bench with the weights in my hands and bent over to touch the floor with the weights. Trainer says this is a good exercise for girls and their rears. Two days later and my rear is still sore so evidently he is right on. As he had me grab the weights for floor presses and I was getting into position he said, "You are the only one of my clients that will do these." This caused me to chuckle and nearly knock myself in the head with the weight. I said, "Why am I the only one?" "They just tell me they aren't doing it. And it's one of my favorite exercises." I never knew it was an option to tell him no. I think I've only done that twice, but mostly I just do what he says cause he's the boss. For our last exercise of the evening Trainer picked up a 50 pound barbell and told me to follow him. We went to the end of the gym and he offered to help put the barbell on my neck. This is when I realized my trainer is brave. I always talk about how scary he is, but he put that on my neck and walked right beside me as I lunged down and back twice. Then he took it off of my neck. I told him it was brave based on my stability issues. He chuckled and said I'm no longer a baby ninja. Or a baby panda if you have watched that movie which I have not. Anyway, his point was that I am not skilled by any means, but I have made progress.
We had quite the discussion of my level of soreness and Trainer thinks I should be more sore. When you are sore it means the muscles are growing. So we increased my chicken and eggs the day of my workout with Trainer. There is some sort of acid in these two foods that is supposed to do something to the muscle fibers so that I will be sore and they will be growing. Moving on people...movin on...I have a weight loss goal to reach by the 40th birthday which is rapidly approaching. No time for cheating. No time for slacking. Got to hit it hard every day. No mercy!
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Bunchy On Fire
It's the end of the school year. Tomorrow should be our last day. Due to the many snow days we had this year, we are going 6 and a half days in addition to tomorrow. Add to this the fact that my school is being added onto and remodeled. That construction crew has their own deadlines. They are behind because of the snow. They have completed the addition and are moving inside. Interior walls are being torn down, technology has been removed from classsrooms, teachers are having to be even more creative than normal, and kids are curious. I have decided as the counselor who is often called to put out fires, running shoes are the footwear for the rest of the year. I have no idea how many times I walked up and down the halls today. There were some pretty interesting circumstances to deal with. Sometimes it's a little stressful to remain calm on the outside with a smile for the kids. As I was running through the course of the day, I had fleeting thoughts of...I don't want to workout tonight!!! But there I went for my meeting with Trainer Mike.
Imagine my alarm when he said "You're going to be on the treadmill for the whole hour." You all know how I feel about running. Invoked by stress? Determination? I don't know, but I hit the treadmill and I didn't complain one time. We did intervals of the treadmill and weight lifting. I could have lasted longer. Seriously!!! I finished my workout with 5 sets of lunging down the gym and back with a sprint down and back. Please know, this might not seem like a big deal to you, but a couple of months ago...I couldn't do this without stopping and a lot of whining. I'm very proud of myself. During our end of workout discussion, Trainer Mike said "It's miraculous how far I've come and he can't wait to see what we can do this year." I am sooooo pumped and excited. I mean really excited. Tonight was a huge deal for me. I was tired, I was stressed, I was still sore from Tuesday's workout, I was a little scared and I did it and it felt great. Wow!
Imagine my alarm when he said "You're going to be on the treadmill for the whole hour." You all know how I feel about running. Invoked by stress? Determination? I don't know, but I hit the treadmill and I didn't complain one time. We did intervals of the treadmill and weight lifting. I could have lasted longer. Seriously!!! I finished my workout with 5 sets of lunging down the gym and back with a sprint down and back. Please know, this might not seem like a big deal to you, but a couple of months ago...I couldn't do this without stopping and a lot of whining. I'm very proud of myself. During our end of workout discussion, Trainer Mike said "It's miraculous how far I've come and he can't wait to see what we can do this year." I am sooooo pumped and excited. I mean really excited. Tonight was a huge deal for me. I was tired, I was stressed, I was still sore from Tuesday's workout, I was a little scared and I did it and it felt great. Wow!
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Muscle Mayhem May 2011
After working out with trainer Mike for a little over a year I finally got to see him in action tonight. AMAZING! I'm impressed. He won!!! He has been dieting and working out so hard. I am so proud of him. I had tears of joy and pride when they called his number. Way to go Mike. It's great to be able to know that I'm working out with one of the best!!!
It was really incredible to be in a place with so many dedicated athletes. The bodies on stage were unbelievable. Women and men. While I have no desire to compete in that way, it certainly inspires me to hit things even harder. If people can get their bodies to look like that then I have no excuses.
With that, let me tell you about a little incident that occured yesterday. I had someone say some things to me that were downright rude. The statements were an attack on my integrity. I am so angry about it. It must have been pretty obvious that I was angry because she then gave an insincere attempt at playing it off as a joke. Duh...you're talking to the counselor who reads body language and other non verbals such as facial expressions. That is not what a joking face looks like. I share this because obviously it's still eating at me and as a result, I've been an emotional eater today. I haven't eaten a lot because I spent the day doing yard work, but the choices I did make were not good for me. I wonder if it will always be this easy to fall off the wagon? This thought in and of itself makes me angry. I shouldn't be falling off the wagon for reasons such as this. So now I am mad at myself. UGH!
I've been emotional today overall. I had a nice little cry on the phone with my mom. My friend, Emily is graduating next week and turning 18 two weeks later. When Emily was six months old God blessed me with the opportunity to become part of her family as a nanny. When I started the job that's what I thought it was...a job. I was soooo wrong. It was a life changing experience. It was within a few weeks that this little girl had my heart. I remained her nanny until she was three and a half. To this day, she and I are very close as are her parents and I. I started working on her graduation present last night and was a sobbing mess. I tried to talk to my mom about it today and was sobbing again. Now I'm writing about it and sobbing again. WOW!
Are you ready for a funny? Last Saturday night Mike and I were working out. We had done some cardio in the parking lot courtesy of the beautiful weather and had moved inside to do some HIT with heavier weight than I had done before. Enter a 50 pound bar bell on my neck while I lunge across the gym and back. Drop that and move to bench presses. Don't get too comfortable because now it's time for deadlifts with a 60 pound dumb bell in each hand. Mike kept telling me I was overthinking the amount of weight and messing myself up. I kept telling him it was too heavy. Nevertheless, on the third round of this cirquit I went to pick those dumbbells up and the plate part came to rest on my wrist. Those of you who know me, understand that this was a Tammy moment most would need to see to believe. Those of you who don't know me, please understand I am a clutz. Even I wish I had a video of this happening so I could replay it for myself and for every person who has said to me "How? Do? You? Even? Do? That? With? A? Dumbbell? On? Your? Wrist?" It's me!!!! That's all I know. After it landed there I was mad. I bent over and picked those puppies up and Mike said it was my best deadlift ever. I completed the night with 200 crunches and a nice bruise. Made it through Mother's Day and it was about 3:00 the next morning that my wrist started hurting so bad, I became concerned. It was swollen and ugly. Well the doctor hadn't had his good Monday morning laugh yet. He certainly had it during my visit as I tried to explain it to him. Then there was the xray tech. No breaks. Just a bad bruise. I even managed to do a workout with Mike on Tuesday...pushups and all. It's still ugly, but I'm good.
Alright readers...no more emotional eating tomorrow...I promise you!
It was really incredible to be in a place with so many dedicated athletes. The bodies on stage were unbelievable. Women and men. While I have no desire to compete in that way, it certainly inspires me to hit things even harder. If people can get their bodies to look like that then I have no excuses.
With that, let me tell you about a little incident that occured yesterday. I had someone say some things to me that were downright rude. The statements were an attack on my integrity. I am so angry about it. It must have been pretty obvious that I was angry because she then gave an insincere attempt at playing it off as a joke. Duh...you're talking to the counselor who reads body language and other non verbals such as facial expressions. That is not what a joking face looks like. I share this because obviously it's still eating at me and as a result, I've been an emotional eater today. I haven't eaten a lot because I spent the day doing yard work, but the choices I did make were not good for me. I wonder if it will always be this easy to fall off the wagon? This thought in and of itself makes me angry. I shouldn't be falling off the wagon for reasons such as this. So now I am mad at myself. UGH!
I've been emotional today overall. I had a nice little cry on the phone with my mom. My friend, Emily is graduating next week and turning 18 two weeks later. When Emily was six months old God blessed me with the opportunity to become part of her family as a nanny. When I started the job that's what I thought it was...a job. I was soooo wrong. It was a life changing experience. It was within a few weeks that this little girl had my heart. I remained her nanny until she was three and a half. To this day, she and I are very close as are her parents and I. I started working on her graduation present last night and was a sobbing mess. I tried to talk to my mom about it today and was sobbing again. Now I'm writing about it and sobbing again. WOW!
Are you ready for a funny? Last Saturday night Mike and I were working out. We had done some cardio in the parking lot courtesy of the beautiful weather and had moved inside to do some HIT with heavier weight than I had done before. Enter a 50 pound bar bell on my neck while I lunge across the gym and back. Drop that and move to bench presses. Don't get too comfortable because now it's time for deadlifts with a 60 pound dumb bell in each hand. Mike kept telling me I was overthinking the amount of weight and messing myself up. I kept telling him it was too heavy. Nevertheless, on the third round of this cirquit I went to pick those dumbbells up and the plate part came to rest on my wrist. Those of you who know me, understand that this was a Tammy moment most would need to see to believe. Those of you who don't know me, please understand I am a clutz. Even I wish I had a video of this happening so I could replay it for myself and for every person who has said to me "How? Do? You? Even? Do? That? With? A? Dumbbell? On? Your? Wrist?" It's me!!!! That's all I know. After it landed there I was mad. I bent over and picked those puppies up and Mike said it was my best deadlift ever. I completed the night with 200 crunches and a nice bruise. Made it through Mother's Day and it was about 3:00 the next morning that my wrist started hurting so bad, I became concerned. It was swollen and ugly. Well the doctor hadn't had his good Monday morning laugh yet. He certainly had it during my visit as I tried to explain it to him. Then there was the xray tech. No breaks. Just a bad bruise. I even managed to do a workout with Mike on Tuesday...pushups and all. It's still ugly, but I'm good.
Alright readers...no more emotional eating tomorrow...I promise you!
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
4 Day Marathon
Since I was sick and missed a couple of sessions my incredible trainer offered to make the sessions up. Saturday was strength training because I was worried about my lungs, Sunday was cardio, Monday was strength, and Tuesday was cardio again. Please do not be deceived...even when we do strength there is cardio involved. I start out running in some fashion to warm up. Today I have been so sore I could barely move. The cure? Go for a run and work it out. Whoever thought I would EVER consider doing that? NOT I!!!
Let me talk about an after shock of being on steroids for two weeks...
I was on straight Prednisone, a ZPac (as the first antibiotic), a steroid inhaler, and a few other things...I gained 6 pounds and I wasn't eating. Last Friday morning I start going to the bathroom like every 20 minutes. This continues throughout the day. I don't have time to go to the bathroom that many times in a day. If I could have bought some Depends I think I would have tried it. By Saturday morning I was down 4 pounds. Steroids continued to exit my body through Saturday evening. It became downright annoying, but there aren't many choices except to go with it...literally! It is a celebration that I have lost all of that weight and a couple more!
My first workout I was terrified. I felt sick to my stomach. It was like I was going to meet Mike for the first time. That feeling didn't last long. Within minutes I was running sprints again. Relief flooded through me when my lungs didn't burn and the chest pain I had experienced at our last workout didn't return. Should that ever happen again I will let Trainer know and cease immediately!
My second strength workout this week, Mike labelled a prison workout. We did the types of things prisoners do in the yard. It's how they can get so buff while serving time and works well for people who have limited time. Those squat presses...OUCH! I did get frustrated during the workout. The form on my pushups wasn't right and I was corrected. PLEASE know...the reason I pay Mike is to push me AND to teach me the right way to do things. However, it is hard for me to accept when I'm not doing it right sometimes. Especially, when it involves an exercise such as push ups where I have had to do so many. I was mad at myself.
I'm kind of in a funk right now with working out because it's been a year...
It's been a year of hard work. I've accomplished more than I ever imagined and I'm addicted. I LOVE being in the gym. I am so proud of the results. Yet, there's a long way to go and I know that. There is a lot more hard work ahead of me. Actually the work before me is harder than anything I've done so far. So now I'm starting to feel scared. I'm a counselor and I'm not sure I understand where this is coming from. Part of me suspects it's the number on the scale. Still, in my mind success is not measured by how many sprints I run, how much weight I lift, the fact that my lunges are deeper, or the fact that I can do so much that I never thought possible before. For me, success is still tied to the number on the scale.
Once again, I would like to publically thank my Trainer for pushing me and not giving up on me. A HUGE thank you for putting up with me for four days in a row and not quitting. It was really awesome to have that opportunity. A great way to get back on track.
Let me talk about an after shock of being on steroids for two weeks...
I was on straight Prednisone, a ZPac (as the first antibiotic), a steroid inhaler, and a few other things...I gained 6 pounds and I wasn't eating. Last Friday morning I start going to the bathroom like every 20 minutes. This continues throughout the day. I don't have time to go to the bathroom that many times in a day. If I could have bought some Depends I think I would have tried it. By Saturday morning I was down 4 pounds. Steroids continued to exit my body through Saturday evening. It became downright annoying, but there aren't many choices except to go with it...literally! It is a celebration that I have lost all of that weight and a couple more!
My first workout I was terrified. I felt sick to my stomach. It was like I was going to meet Mike for the first time. That feeling didn't last long. Within minutes I was running sprints again. Relief flooded through me when my lungs didn't burn and the chest pain I had experienced at our last workout didn't return. Should that ever happen again I will let Trainer know and cease immediately!
My second strength workout this week, Mike labelled a prison workout. We did the types of things prisoners do in the yard. It's how they can get so buff while serving time and works well for people who have limited time. Those squat presses...OUCH! I did get frustrated during the workout. The form on my pushups wasn't right and I was corrected. PLEASE know...the reason I pay Mike is to push me AND to teach me the right way to do things. However, it is hard for me to accept when I'm not doing it right sometimes. Especially, when it involves an exercise such as push ups where I have had to do so many. I was mad at myself.
I'm kind of in a funk right now with working out because it's been a year...
It's been a year of hard work. I've accomplished more than I ever imagined and I'm addicted. I LOVE being in the gym. I am so proud of the results. Yet, there's a long way to go and I know that. There is a lot more hard work ahead of me. Actually the work before me is harder than anything I've done so far. So now I'm starting to feel scared. I'm a counselor and I'm not sure I understand where this is coming from. Part of me suspects it's the number on the scale. Still, in my mind success is not measured by how many sprints I run, how much weight I lift, the fact that my lunges are deeper, or the fact that I can do so much that I never thought possible before. For me, success is still tied to the number on the scale.
Once again, I would like to publically thank my Trainer for pushing me and not giving up on me. A HUGE thank you for putting up with me for four days in a row and not quitting. It was really awesome to have that opportunity. A great way to get back on track.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
The Stadium As A Near Death Experience
If you are wondering where I've been and you don't follow Facebook or talk to me regularly, I've had a HORRID case of bronchitis. As always, Readers, there is a story...
On Sunday April 17th, Trainer texted me shortly before our workout and told me to meet him at the high school track instead of the gym. I immediately replied back "NO!!!" I expected him to not respond, but he told me he could meet me at the gym. As scared as I was I knew this day was coming and I had just better get it over. Having talked to a high school friend earlier that day and telling her that Mike had been threatening me with running the stadium stairs she said, "He better wrap you in bubble wrap first." My mom was terrified at the thought. She is scarred from past emergency room visits. Anyway, to the stadium I went with my husband stopping by on duty. I don't know if it was support or to laugh. I had called him on my way and told him where my life insurance information was just in case. Onto the track with a lesson on only running in the outside lane I was off. Didn't take long at all for my lungs to feel like they were ON FIRE! Having not felt well the whole week before I had avoided the gym and thought the burning in my lungs was a result of the allergies which had been plaguing me and a lack of working out. I finished my laps around the track and my pushups. Mike tried to get me to do some chin ups off the side of the bleachers. That didn't work out so well. We were both frustrated. We moved to the stairs.
Ever the encourager, Mike told me he was going to do these with me. He also told me he had done them earlier in the week and could barely move for two days after. "This is really good cardio." With Mike running much faster than me up his side, I ran up the stairs. Having his own experience with my clutziness, Mike had cautioned me to come down the stairs slowly. No worries. By the time I arrived at the bottom after my first trip, I was sure I was a loser. I was breathing so hard, my lungs were on fire, my legs were burning, and I was light headed. I grabbed onto the rail to catch my breath before going back up. So for every three trips Mike made...I went one. My final number was ten. Mike kept telling me what a great job I had done. I was ready to cry. How could I have been working out for almost a year and be so weak? I got in the car and my legs were shaking so hard I could barely drive. I had to reposition myself in the car to push on the accelerator. My muscles weren't working right. Ten minutes later I arrived home and puked. If I had said in the past that I had almost died from a workout, I was totally mistaken because this workout was kicking my butt. The only way I could get my legs to quit shaking was after sitting in a hot bath for an hour. Then the coughing began. I was coughing so hard I was crying.
Monday morning I woke up and felt like I had been hit by a truck. I left work early to go to the doctor who listened to my lungs and said, "CRAP TAMMY!" He was in disbelief that I had worked out the night before and not ended up in the ER. Now part of me was relieved. This explained why I felt so awful during the workout and after, but then reality pulled up and I started to cry. "But I only have two weeks left in my doctorate course work and I have this, this, and this due! I have to feel better QUICK!" Doctor agreed to treat aggressively. I spent the next day and a half in bed. Barely made it through work on Wednesday...stayed home on Thursday and then there was Friday at the end of which I ended up with the ER doctor. He was arrogant, but very compassionate and said that in addition to bronchitis I had a sinus infection and they weren't responding to my Z Pack and inhalers. A new antibiotic, two new inhalers, and another round of steroids and I was out the door. During this time, my dear friend dropped off an herbal product at the house. She's in the doctorate program with me and realized the situation I was in.
It's hard to say if it has been the new prescription drugs or the herbal stuff, but I do feel better. Now the toughest part is that the doctor says I can't go back to the gym before Thursday. I'm feeling better and VERY fat. Steroids for two weeks? Really? Do you know what that does to the scales? They don't go down that's for sure. Even when I didn't eat for five days...they went UP!!! And even when I was sooo sick and insisted to my husband that the only thing which would make me feel better was ice cream and he wouldn't go get it, the scales still went UP!!!
That, Dear Readers...is how the stadium was a near death experience for Bunchy...I feel like I'm back to square 1, but I really can't wait to start working out again. I feel like a slug!
On Sunday April 17th, Trainer texted me shortly before our workout and told me to meet him at the high school track instead of the gym. I immediately replied back "NO!!!" I expected him to not respond, but he told me he could meet me at the gym. As scared as I was I knew this day was coming and I had just better get it over. Having talked to a high school friend earlier that day and telling her that Mike had been threatening me with running the stadium stairs she said, "He better wrap you in bubble wrap first." My mom was terrified at the thought. She is scarred from past emergency room visits. Anyway, to the stadium I went with my husband stopping by on duty. I don't know if it was support or to laugh. I had called him on my way and told him where my life insurance information was just in case. Onto the track with a lesson on only running in the outside lane I was off. Didn't take long at all for my lungs to feel like they were ON FIRE! Having not felt well the whole week before I had avoided the gym and thought the burning in my lungs was a result of the allergies which had been plaguing me and a lack of working out. I finished my laps around the track and my pushups. Mike tried to get me to do some chin ups off the side of the bleachers. That didn't work out so well. We were both frustrated. We moved to the stairs.
Ever the encourager, Mike told me he was going to do these with me. He also told me he had done them earlier in the week and could barely move for two days after. "This is really good cardio." With Mike running much faster than me up his side, I ran up the stairs. Having his own experience with my clutziness, Mike had cautioned me to come down the stairs slowly. No worries. By the time I arrived at the bottom after my first trip, I was sure I was a loser. I was breathing so hard, my lungs were on fire, my legs were burning, and I was light headed. I grabbed onto the rail to catch my breath before going back up. So for every three trips Mike made...I went one. My final number was ten. Mike kept telling me what a great job I had done. I was ready to cry. How could I have been working out for almost a year and be so weak? I got in the car and my legs were shaking so hard I could barely drive. I had to reposition myself in the car to push on the accelerator. My muscles weren't working right. Ten minutes later I arrived home and puked. If I had said in the past that I had almost died from a workout, I was totally mistaken because this workout was kicking my butt. The only way I could get my legs to quit shaking was after sitting in a hot bath for an hour. Then the coughing began. I was coughing so hard I was crying.
Monday morning I woke up and felt like I had been hit by a truck. I left work early to go to the doctor who listened to my lungs and said, "CRAP TAMMY!" He was in disbelief that I had worked out the night before and not ended up in the ER. Now part of me was relieved. This explained why I felt so awful during the workout and after, but then reality pulled up and I started to cry. "But I only have two weeks left in my doctorate course work and I have this, this, and this due! I have to feel better QUICK!" Doctor agreed to treat aggressively. I spent the next day and a half in bed. Barely made it through work on Wednesday...stayed home on Thursday and then there was Friday at the end of which I ended up with the ER doctor. He was arrogant, but very compassionate and said that in addition to bronchitis I had a sinus infection and they weren't responding to my Z Pack and inhalers. A new antibiotic, two new inhalers, and another round of steroids and I was out the door. During this time, my dear friend dropped off an herbal product at the house. She's in the doctorate program with me and realized the situation I was in.
It's hard to say if it has been the new prescription drugs or the herbal stuff, but I do feel better. Now the toughest part is that the doctor says I can't go back to the gym before Thursday. I'm feeling better and VERY fat. Steroids for two weeks? Really? Do you know what that does to the scales? They don't go down that's for sure. Even when I didn't eat for five days...they went UP!!! And even when I was sooo sick and insisted to my husband that the only thing which would make me feel better was ice cream and he wouldn't go get it, the scales still went UP!!!
That, Dear Readers...is how the stadium was a near death experience for Bunchy...I feel like I'm back to square 1, but I really can't wait to start working out again. I feel like a slug!
Thursday, April 7, 2011
That's So Last Year!!!
I'm feeling frustrated today so it's a great time to blog....bahaha!!!
I did it. I went at this diet with a vengence this week. No holds barred. Chicken breast and asparagus or green beans for lunch. Either chicken or turkey and a vege for dinner. Mixed in a few protein drinks. Started my day with oatmeal and blueberries. Denied myself lots of food and four days later I am the exact same weight. So here's how the conversation started tonight at the gym...
Mike: "How are you Tammy?"
Me: "I'm grouchy"
Mike: "Why?"
Me: "They're building onto our school and the construction moved inside the building today. They were cutting metal. Then they were building walls inside. It was noisy. And some of the adults were getting on my nerves."
Mike: "We're going to run sprints to warm up. 10"
Me: "And let me tell you what else. I've been on this diet for four days and I haven't lost a pound!"
Mike: "Tammy it's not easy. How long have I been on my diet? 6 months!"
Me: "But Mike you lost weight the first week."
Mike: "Tammy I'm a guy and you're a girl."
Truthfully, he might have said something else after that, but I just started running. I was even grouchier. If I could grow the piece of anatomy that makes it easier for a man to lose weight don't think I wouldn't try it.
New exercises like jumping jacks while holding weights. I ask...what's wrong with regular jumping jacks? Those were last year is the answer I get. Seriously. This phrase comes out of his mouth with more frequency the closer we get to our year anniversary of working out together. What worked last year doesn't work this year all of a sudden. The most challenging exercise for me tonight was to hit a pushup from a squatting position and then jump up toward the ceiling. It's kind of like a frog hopper with a pushup involved. After trying this a couple of times, Mike told me I could be on the special olympics. Gee...thanks!
I spent Tuesday night with my massage therapist. She does somatic massage. For those of you that have had a massage this is not the relaxing kind where you are passive and falling asleep. You are active in this massage. My knee was hurting and the last time I was there she had told me we needed to do some work on my legs. Perhaps this was one of the most painful experiences of my life. She wasn't even using full pressure. It was scary painful. She kept telling me to breathe so I wouldn't pass out. She said my IT bands were way too tight and that I needed to tell my trainer this and I needed to make sure I was stretching before and after the workouts. In case you are wondering the IT band runs from the outside of your hip to just below your knee where it connects with the Tibia. It is a tendon. When these get as tight as mine were it causes low back pain and butt pain, and leg pain, and knee pain. She told me to make sure my trainer knew this. I texted him immediately to let him know. So tonight we ended my workout by him stretching the IT band. Incredibly painful, but so incredibly relaxing at the same time. It was an amazing experience. Now I have to train my husband on this type of stretching. We also stretched my hamstrings and my quads. Same deal...painful, but wonderful at the same time.
What Trainer and I did decide is this...no more cheat meals. Those are finished. Have to treat the body like a machine until it responds to me. I have to add eggs to breakfast so I have protein. I'm mad enough at this point about not losing weight that I'm gonna give it a go and see what happens. Trainer Mike says this will work so I'm trusting him.
I did it. I went at this diet with a vengence this week. No holds barred. Chicken breast and asparagus or green beans for lunch. Either chicken or turkey and a vege for dinner. Mixed in a few protein drinks. Started my day with oatmeal and blueberries. Denied myself lots of food and four days later I am the exact same weight. So here's how the conversation started tonight at the gym...
Mike: "How are you Tammy?"
Me: "I'm grouchy"
Mike: "Why?"
Me: "They're building onto our school and the construction moved inside the building today. They were cutting metal. Then they were building walls inside. It was noisy. And some of the adults were getting on my nerves."
Mike: "We're going to run sprints to warm up. 10"
Me: "And let me tell you what else. I've been on this diet for four days and I haven't lost a pound!"
Mike: "Tammy it's not easy. How long have I been on my diet? 6 months!"
Me: "But Mike you lost weight the first week."
Mike: "Tammy I'm a guy and you're a girl."
Truthfully, he might have said something else after that, but I just started running. I was even grouchier. If I could grow the piece of anatomy that makes it easier for a man to lose weight don't think I wouldn't try it.
New exercises like jumping jacks while holding weights. I ask...what's wrong with regular jumping jacks? Those were last year is the answer I get. Seriously. This phrase comes out of his mouth with more frequency the closer we get to our year anniversary of working out together. What worked last year doesn't work this year all of a sudden. The most challenging exercise for me tonight was to hit a pushup from a squatting position and then jump up toward the ceiling. It's kind of like a frog hopper with a pushup involved. After trying this a couple of times, Mike told me I could be on the special olympics. Gee...thanks!
I spent Tuesday night with my massage therapist. She does somatic massage. For those of you that have had a massage this is not the relaxing kind where you are passive and falling asleep. You are active in this massage. My knee was hurting and the last time I was there she had told me we needed to do some work on my legs. Perhaps this was one of the most painful experiences of my life. She wasn't even using full pressure. It was scary painful. She kept telling me to breathe so I wouldn't pass out. She said my IT bands were way too tight and that I needed to tell my trainer this and I needed to make sure I was stretching before and after the workouts. In case you are wondering the IT band runs from the outside of your hip to just below your knee where it connects with the Tibia. It is a tendon. When these get as tight as mine were it causes low back pain and butt pain, and leg pain, and knee pain. She told me to make sure my trainer knew this. I texted him immediately to let him know. So tonight we ended my workout by him stretching the IT band. Incredibly painful, but so incredibly relaxing at the same time. It was an amazing experience. Now I have to train my husband on this type of stretching. We also stretched my hamstrings and my quads. Same deal...painful, but wonderful at the same time.
What Trainer and I did decide is this...no more cheat meals. Those are finished. Have to treat the body like a machine until it responds to me. I have to add eggs to breakfast so I have protein. I'm mad enough at this point about not losing weight that I'm gonna give it a go and see what happens. Trainer Mike says this will work so I'm trusting him.
Monday, March 28, 2011
Brownies, Bloody Chocolate Cake, and Pains in my Butt!!!
As I was starting my day today a friend stopped at my office door and said, "Have you seen the bloody teacher's lounge?" I looked at her stunned. "It's pay day treats. Don't go in there. Chocolate cake, brownies, and a bucket of candy this big." My friend who had her arms outstretched to show me the size of the bucket of candy is on Weight Watchers. Well twenty minutes later I had to go make a copy. Readers, I am honestly reporting to you that she was not EVEN kidding. Do you think I wanted a piece of the chocolate cake? NOPE!!! I wanted to bury my head in it and not come up for air until I had inhaled the entire thing. It looked so moist with thick frosting (and a lot of it!). Nevermind the chips and cheese dip, the dip and crackers, the sausage and cheese, and the veges and dip. All I wanted was that chocolate. If you think that I have gained a lot of will power, you might be mistaken. I avoided the lounge like the plague for most of the day. Yet, it was as though the cake were whispering in my ear in a seductful way, "I'm here. I'm waiting. Come here beautiful!"
I don't know if anyone noticed or not, but when I did have to go in that wicked aroma filled room I had my hands in my back pockets. The whole blessed day. The jeans I was wearing were too big. At one point today as I was standing with my hands shoved as deeply as they would go, I learned I can take the jeans on and off without a snap or a zipper. (I didn't moon anyone, but did learn I probably need to go buy a new pair.)At lunch as I was waiting for my protein and veges to heat up I glanced closer at the brownies. BROWNIES WITH CARAMEL???? Truly, only people trying to sabotage me would have brought those. REALLY??? To everyone who took a bite...I asked "Are they worth it?" Not one person told me "No, they aren't worth it." They all made these moaning sounds. Where is my support system when I need it? Who are these people that have been cheering me on? Where did my friends go? One gentleman said, "Aren't you going to do it? Trainer couldn't even resist those." "My arms hurt so bad from the 200 pushups I did yesterday that I just don't think I should." Now as I'm saying this I'm thinking...I'm going to eat one of those brownies and just a taste of cake. But as I said it, the gentelman almost choked on his buffalo chicken chip and said, "You did not do 200 pushups. Be real. I can't even do 200 pushups." "If you count the 20 pike pushups I certainly did do 200 pushups!" "I don't believe you. Call Trainer Mike right now. Get him on the phone." Now I had a point to prove and I couldn't cave and eat the brownie or the bloody chocolate cake! On the day went. I did notice with my hands shoved in my back pockets that there is less of my butt. It feels firmer and tighter. This might seem weird, but keeping my hands on my butt kept me from indulging in brownies or the bloody chocolate cake all day! Not to mention the enormous container of Hershey's chocolate and other candy! Let's move on to the real pain in the butt...
My arms, legs, and abs have been sore all day. Tonight I walked into the gym and decided I would get the legs out of the way first. After doing leg presses and some hamstring work, I moved to the abductor/adductor machine. I was feeling pretty full of myself so I thought..."I'll just do 100 of these and then do cardio." I made it to exactly 93 and got a cramp in my butt. Please don't mistake this for a "Oh it is really sore burn." You know those charley horses you get in your leg in the middle of the night? That's what was happening in my butt. I was trying to remain calm. Sitting spread eagle acting like I was just pausing in my workout. In the few seconds this lasted (which felt much more like minutes) thoughts ran through my head. "Woman stuck on weight machine." "Gym calls emergency team to remove woman from weight machine" (which would have involved both my trainer and my husband tonight). Finally, the cramp subsided and I was able to get on the stepper and do my cardio. Now I go to bed with sore arms, sore legs, sore abs, AND a sore butt, but I didn't eat the brownies or the bloody chocolate cake! SCORE: 1 for Bunchy 0 for the Bulge!!!
I'm just going to add that yesterday Trainer Mike had me on a new contraption for abs because "Doing abs the other way isn't working for you anymore." You have to hook your feet around this thing and lay back. I jumped off several times before I even did a crunch because I was scared I was going to fall. Trainer Mike was relentless. "You are doing these," with this smirk on his face like I was a moron. Now with my accident history...do you blame me? Like I should by lying upside down ready to fall on my head? He assured me even if I did fall it would only be six inches or so. Have I mentioned that I never fall gracefully? A lot could happen to me in six inches. Tonight there was this high school kid using this contraption and the brilliant young lad put a foam block. Duh!!! Even though my orders were "Get used to this, we are going to be on it a lot" I didn't try it tonight on my own. Maybe tomorrow...for now...back to doctorate work!
I don't know if anyone noticed or not, but when I did have to go in that wicked aroma filled room I had my hands in my back pockets. The whole blessed day. The jeans I was wearing were too big. At one point today as I was standing with my hands shoved as deeply as they would go, I learned I can take the jeans on and off without a snap or a zipper. (I didn't moon anyone, but did learn I probably need to go buy a new pair.)At lunch as I was waiting for my protein and veges to heat up I glanced closer at the brownies. BROWNIES WITH CARAMEL???? Truly, only people trying to sabotage me would have brought those. REALLY??? To everyone who took a bite...I asked "Are they worth it?" Not one person told me "No, they aren't worth it." They all made these moaning sounds. Where is my support system when I need it? Who are these people that have been cheering me on? Where did my friends go? One gentleman said, "Aren't you going to do it? Trainer couldn't even resist those." "My arms hurt so bad from the 200 pushups I did yesterday that I just don't think I should." Now as I'm saying this I'm thinking...I'm going to eat one of those brownies and just a taste of cake. But as I said it, the gentelman almost choked on his buffalo chicken chip and said, "You did not do 200 pushups. Be real. I can't even do 200 pushups." "If you count the 20 pike pushups I certainly did do 200 pushups!" "I don't believe you. Call Trainer Mike right now. Get him on the phone." Now I had a point to prove and I couldn't cave and eat the brownie or the bloody chocolate cake! On the day went. I did notice with my hands shoved in my back pockets that there is less of my butt. It feels firmer and tighter. This might seem weird, but keeping my hands on my butt kept me from indulging in brownies or the bloody chocolate cake all day! Not to mention the enormous container of Hershey's chocolate and other candy! Let's move on to the real pain in the butt...
My arms, legs, and abs have been sore all day. Tonight I walked into the gym and decided I would get the legs out of the way first. After doing leg presses and some hamstring work, I moved to the abductor/adductor machine. I was feeling pretty full of myself so I thought..."I'll just do 100 of these and then do cardio." I made it to exactly 93 and got a cramp in my butt. Please don't mistake this for a "Oh it is really sore burn." You know those charley horses you get in your leg in the middle of the night? That's what was happening in my butt. I was trying to remain calm. Sitting spread eagle acting like I was just pausing in my workout. In the few seconds this lasted (which felt much more like minutes) thoughts ran through my head. "Woman stuck on weight machine." "Gym calls emergency team to remove woman from weight machine" (which would have involved both my trainer and my husband tonight). Finally, the cramp subsided and I was able to get on the stepper and do my cardio. Now I go to bed with sore arms, sore legs, sore abs, AND a sore butt, but I didn't eat the brownies or the bloody chocolate cake! SCORE: 1 for Bunchy 0 for the Bulge!!!
I'm just going to add that yesterday Trainer Mike had me on a new contraption for abs because "Doing abs the other way isn't working for you anymore." You have to hook your feet around this thing and lay back. I jumped off several times before I even did a crunch because I was scared I was going to fall. Trainer Mike was relentless. "You are doing these," with this smirk on his face like I was a moron. Now with my accident history...do you blame me? Like I should by lying upside down ready to fall on my head? He assured me even if I did fall it would only be six inches or so. Have I mentioned that I never fall gracefully? A lot could happen to me in six inches. Tonight there was this high school kid using this contraption and the brilliant young lad put a foam block. Duh!!! Even though my orders were "Get used to this, we are going to be on it a lot" I didn't try it tonight on my own. Maybe tomorrow...for now...back to doctorate work!
Sunday, March 27, 2011
School For The Gifted
Is this what you were referring to tonight Mike??? I'm still laughing. Okay Readers...here is what happened based on my perception and interpretation...
I worked out with Trainer yesterday after not working out for five days. When I arrived at the gym tonight to meet him again my legs and arms were on fire. As I was running he told me we would not be touching any weights tonight. We were only going to do exercises where I was working with my body. That means I did two hundred push ups, lots of squats, a new type of lunge, and some pull ups. So I got to the bar where I was to pull up and got ready to go. (I'm laughing so hard right now just typing this...) Mike says, "Tammy, you need your feet to go the other way or you are going to pull the bar off on you." I look at the bar and said, "Oh yeah. Yeah because it's not connected on this side." I turned myself around and as I began Mike said I remind him of the kid in this far side cartoon. Maybe I have not told Mike this, but I have told my husband many times...as I'm working on this doctorate there is soooo much new knowledge going in my brain that some stuff (and usually it's the common sense stuff) has to leave. There is simply not room for everything. AND more importantly, this is not a doctorate in physics...it's in Educational Leadership and Policy Analysis which would explain how I misjudged my distance yesterday and almost sprinted into the mirrored wall (which was complicated by the fact that I was supposed to be HIGH fiving Trainer on my way back and he was making me jump for it)and how tonight when leaving the gym I walked into the door. I'm still laughing!
Well I ended up not working out as much last week because I got icky sick. Thursday morning I woke up with this horrible mid back pain which didn't get better as the day went on. As a matter of fact, I became light headed and nauseous. I cancelled my session with Mike that night and was asleep before 7:00. I don't like to cancel my sessions it makes me grouchy, but to be completely honest...I felt so yucky I didn't even care. Friday I went to the chiropractor who said, "Tammy, what have you done?" I truly don't know what I did. So after another visit to the chiro on Saturday morning I was good to go for last night.
Truly, as I have spent this entire weekend working on this stinking Research Prospectus, I am very confident that working out is the BEST stress relief ever. Some of my fellow cohort members question how I have time to do the gym thing while going through this program, but I think I would be close to four hundred pounds and a wreck if I weren't doing it. I look forward to going to the gym each day. Even though I'm getting a lot better at pushing myself on my own, the workouts with Trainer are still the best. In order to write the Research Prospectus I have had to read over several other dissertations. There is this acknowledgement section. I'm pretty sure Trainer is going to get acknowledged in my dissertation because working out has been a major part of the doctoral journey.
I've hit a wall this semester with the doctoral program. If I hadn't invested so much time and money I think this semester would have been where I bowed out. Okay, probably not...because I don't quit stuff, but I have wanted to quit several times this semester. I'm burned out. I'm tired of reading and writing and revising and editing. With that said, I'm still enjoying the journey. I love learning. I really do. It's an amazing experience. Hopefully, a year from now I'll be defending the dissertation and so much closer to DR!!!!
Just one more thing before I sign off tonight. I've been sitting in here with my laptop for about three hours since I returned from the gym. Aside from going up and down the stairs to do laundry (which my legs are screaming at me for) I've been doing homework steady for three hours. Do you have any idea how many times pop tarts are advertised in three hours? Do you have any idea how good a pop tart sounds right now? I don't normally eat pop tarts! What the heck? It's simply because I want a carb...I get it, but holy moly!!! And now I'm watching this special on the upcoming Royal Wedding. You should see the candidates for the wedding cake...I want to dive my face right in. I can help Kate and William pick that cake out with NO problem!
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Bunchy Boot Camp
I decided to make spring break my Boot Camp. Trying to jump start myself back into a serious routine. I feel like I'm fighting for every pound at this point. I need to be able to eat like my body is a machine and feed it only what will make it more efficient. It is a struggle every single day. I'm either terrified to eat or I'm craving food that isn't good for me. These past two days I've eaten very healthy. Eggs, chicken, veges, and protein shakes. I have no choices left. You know I was just watching a show on people climbing Mt. Everest. The higher they climb it's difficult to lift each leg to take a step. That's kind of how I'm feeling with eating. It is the biggest challenge for me in this journey. Most days I still feel like a failure. I feel like I should be losing faster. I know it's my own fault that I haven't lost more pounds. When you have struggled with eating forever it's difficult to change bad habits. I question everything that goes in my mouth.
I'm really sore tonight. Last night's workout with Trainer Mike was the second of the day and I call it a Near Death Experience. At one point, I asked him if he still liked me because we were hitting it so hard. He insisted it was for my own good. When I got on the scales this morning I had lost three pounds since yesterday morning. My mom asked what he had me doing...it was a set of lunges right into jumping jacks followed by push ups and then repeating the whole thing. Arm exercises and mountain climbers and frog hoppers and dead lifts. I truly felt like crying at one point. When I got home I puked. So I woke up this morning and was sore, but went to the gym anyway and did cardio. Tonight I went back and worked arms. Now in addition to my legs and abs being sore from last night, my arms are burning too.
Let me just add here that we have moved from "fake" pushups (on my knees) to real pushups most of the time now. I never thought this would be a possibility for me. It's surreal that I'm doing real pushups. Not all the time, but they are definately being incorporated.
Please don't think I'm complaining. I LOVE challenging workouts. Maybe not in the moment, but after I'm on a high. It's like "WOW! You did it!" Even today, I'm still pumped from last night and can't wait until my next trainer session.
I'll keep you posted on how the Boot Camp goes. Right now...I need to get back to some homework...
I'm really sore tonight. Last night's workout with Trainer Mike was the second of the day and I call it a Near Death Experience. At one point, I asked him if he still liked me because we were hitting it so hard. He insisted it was for my own good. When I got on the scales this morning I had lost three pounds since yesterday morning. My mom asked what he had me doing...it was a set of lunges right into jumping jacks followed by push ups and then repeating the whole thing. Arm exercises and mountain climbers and frog hoppers and dead lifts. I truly felt like crying at one point. When I got home I puked. So I woke up this morning and was sore, but went to the gym anyway and did cardio. Tonight I went back and worked arms. Now in addition to my legs and abs being sore from last night, my arms are burning too.
Let me just add here that we have moved from "fake" pushups (on my knees) to real pushups most of the time now. I never thought this would be a possibility for me. It's surreal that I'm doing real pushups. Not all the time, but they are definately being incorporated.
Please don't think I'm complaining. I LOVE challenging workouts. Maybe not in the moment, but after I'm on a high. It's like "WOW! You did it!" Even today, I'm still pumped from last night and can't wait until my next trainer session.
I'll keep you posted on how the Boot Camp goes. Right now...I need to get back to some homework...
Friday, March 11, 2011
Dinner in Denver
I've spent the last two days in Denver at the International Positive Behavior Support Conference. No, smart alecks...this was NOT for my behavior. HA!
For the past two weeks I've had a sinus and ear infection. A week ago I finally caved and went to the doctor only because I knew I had to get on a plane. The doctor gave me an antibiotic to start and eventually a steroid. On the day I was feeling my worst I went to have a work out with Trainer Mike. I couldn't lift anything and had no strength. That was a week ago yesterday. I haven't been to the gym since. UGH! We were going to work out tonight, but things were changed around and now I'm meeting with him on Monday. This will give me a chance to get in the gym for the next two days and hit it on my own so that perhaps Monday won't be so grueling.
Before leaving for Denver, I had lost four pounds. Now maybe this was because I hadn't been working out or perhaps it was because I was really watching what I was eating because I was terrified of the steroid effect. It really doesn't matter. I am quite sure if I get on the scales in the morning there will be a significant increase in the number. Add to the fact that I haven't been working out, the past three days of sitting. I've either been sitting in an airport, on an airplane, or in a conference session. The only breaks have been when my colleagues and I went for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
Wednesday night's dinner wasn't even until 11:00 p.m. because of our flight delay. That was midnight our time. Yesterday's lunch was at the Hard Rock Cafe. I ordered a salad!!! I think the fried chicken and dressing that was on it kind of defeated the purpose. Last night someone had recommended an Italian place to us saying "It will be the best Italian you ever eat." Okay...he was soooo RIGHT!!! Imagine our surprise when the salad made Olive Garden salad seem like Road Kill. The salad was sooo good in fact that we asked for extra dressing so we could dip the warm home made bread in it. Then came the Ziti I ordered. Chefs shouldn't cook food this good. They really shouldn't. Now I can't even describe to you teh three layered chocolate cake the size of a whole pie that went by our table. I gasped out loud when I saw it. I could hardly get my friend's attention fast enough to make sure she saw it as well. You'll be happy to know we didn't order it. Instead, we ordered the smore cake. It was just as large. We were all pretty miserable walking the three blocks back to the hotel. Hey does that count that each time we went to eat we walked about three blocks there and back??? I know...it totally doesn't.
I guess the moral of this story is the thin girl who is struggling to get out was thrown down by the fat girl while in Denver. The fat girl didn't even care about what was right. She was overwhelmed by all the choices and just went for it. The thin girl needs to get stronger and fight back. This next week I'm on spring break. Going to spend some serious time working out and concentrating on diet. I'll keep you posted and let you know how it goes!
For the past two weeks I've had a sinus and ear infection. A week ago I finally caved and went to the doctor only because I knew I had to get on a plane. The doctor gave me an antibiotic to start and eventually a steroid. On the day I was feeling my worst I went to have a work out with Trainer Mike. I couldn't lift anything and had no strength. That was a week ago yesterday. I haven't been to the gym since. UGH! We were going to work out tonight, but things were changed around and now I'm meeting with him on Monday. This will give me a chance to get in the gym for the next two days and hit it on my own so that perhaps Monday won't be so grueling.
Before leaving for Denver, I had lost four pounds. Now maybe this was because I hadn't been working out or perhaps it was because I was really watching what I was eating because I was terrified of the steroid effect. It really doesn't matter. I am quite sure if I get on the scales in the morning there will be a significant increase in the number. Add to the fact that I haven't been working out, the past three days of sitting. I've either been sitting in an airport, on an airplane, or in a conference session. The only breaks have been when my colleagues and I went for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
Wednesday night's dinner wasn't even until 11:00 p.m. because of our flight delay. That was midnight our time. Yesterday's lunch was at the Hard Rock Cafe. I ordered a salad!!! I think the fried chicken and dressing that was on it kind of defeated the purpose. Last night someone had recommended an Italian place to us saying "It will be the best Italian you ever eat." Okay...he was soooo RIGHT!!! Imagine our surprise when the salad made Olive Garden salad seem like Road Kill. The salad was sooo good in fact that we asked for extra dressing so we could dip the warm home made bread in it. Then came the Ziti I ordered. Chefs shouldn't cook food this good. They really shouldn't. Now I can't even describe to you teh three layered chocolate cake the size of a whole pie that went by our table. I gasped out loud when I saw it. I could hardly get my friend's attention fast enough to make sure she saw it as well. You'll be happy to know we didn't order it. Instead, we ordered the smore cake. It was just as large. We were all pretty miserable walking the three blocks back to the hotel. Hey does that count that each time we went to eat we walked about three blocks there and back??? I know...it totally doesn't.
I guess the moral of this story is the thin girl who is struggling to get out was thrown down by the fat girl while in Denver. The fat girl didn't even care about what was right. She was overwhelmed by all the choices and just went for it. The thin girl needs to get stronger and fight back. This next week I'm on spring break. Going to spend some serious time working out and concentrating on diet. I'll keep you posted and let you know how it goes!
Friday, February 25, 2011
River Dance
A little bit more stress was added to our plates this week. Dave's Grandma was diagnosed with colon cancer. Surgery was performed today. The surgeon removed a mass the size of his fist. He is confident he got everything. After test results come back from pathology, we will know what the next step is. In the mean time, she will be in the hospital for another week.
I have continued to work out every day this week. Toward the end of the day I find myself ready to go to the gym. Yesterday, a winter storm reared it's ugly, white head on KC. A mix of sleet and rain through most of the day and then it turned to snow. I mean a lot of snow! i drove to the gym for my 6:30 meeting with Mike. As I was driving I thought, "Probably not my best plan." Needless to say the gym was pretty empty. Gave me plenty of room to start out with those sprints and pushups. 150pushups to start. More were incorporated throughout the workout. Along with some pull ups. Isn't that interesting considering we were working legs? Things that make you go hmmmm....
Now the drive home should have burned a ton more calories...I couldn't see where I was going it was snowing so hard. To be quite honest, I was a little scared. I realized how people get lost in the snow. There was not a travelled path on the highway. I couldn't even see the highway.
Tonight our workout started with me running a mile. Not a flat mile either. Trainer decided to increase the incline. That SUX!!!! Let me share with you a snippet of conversation that occurred during tonight's arm and shoulder workout...
(Me lying on the bench with weights raised above my head and bending them at a 90 degree angle over my face)
Mike: Faster (as he snaps his fingers)
Me: I'm trying
Mike: Lower
Me: It burns
Mike: What's that face you're making?
LOL!!! I do make some crazy faces. I am TERRIFIED of hurting my shoulder again. I woke up this morning and it was sore. I was worried that because of our workout last night the pain was starting again. Mike assures me I need to work through it.
Mike told me that he and my husband have been talking and they have big things planned for me this year. (This conversation occurred last night.) So I've had all day to think things like, "What are the two of them dreaming up?" Tonight I asked for clarification. Let's just say I think I'm going to be working harder than ever in preparation of the big 40. That's good though. I want to be pushed. I feel like Mike was really pushing me tonight. Especially when he ended my workout by making me run sprints with 150 pushups. And when I was ready to quit he gave me the half glass full speech. For those of you who don't know my husband, he is an eternal optimist. He is always a glass half full kind of guy. This works out very nicely most of the time. As long as he realizes sometimes I need reassurance and gentle nugding to get to the half full. I am half full most of the time. I do have my moments of feeling overwhelmed and stressed. Anyway, tonight when I was struggling with the thought of running sprints (5 sprints, 50 pushups, 4 sprints, 40 pushups, 3 sprints, 30 pushups, 2 sprints, 20 pushups, 1 sprint, 10 pushups)Mike said, "You need to have more of your husband's attitude." I must have given a perplexed look. He said, "You know, glass half full. Right now you're the glass half empty." To which I replied, "My husband isn't in here running sprints right now." And off I went...my legs were stiff and it was a bit painful, but I did it. On about the third sprint, at the end. Mike thought it was my attempt at River Dancing. It was totally not what I meant to do. I LOVE River Dancing, but I am not coordinated enough to even try it. I've seen River Dance at the theater before, but I think my most favorite River Dancing EVER was what Kate Winslet and Leonardo DeCaprio did in one of my most FAVORITE movies ever...TITANIC!!! ;)
And with that friends, I've had my protein drink, my dinner, and my shower...and I'm now headed for my after workout sleep which is usually the best sleep!
I have continued to work out every day this week. Toward the end of the day I find myself ready to go to the gym. Yesterday, a winter storm reared it's ugly, white head on KC. A mix of sleet and rain through most of the day and then it turned to snow. I mean a lot of snow! i drove to the gym for my 6:30 meeting with Mike. As I was driving I thought, "Probably not my best plan." Needless to say the gym was pretty empty. Gave me plenty of room to start out with those sprints and pushups. 150pushups to start. More were incorporated throughout the workout. Along with some pull ups. Isn't that interesting considering we were working legs? Things that make you go hmmmm....
Now the drive home should have burned a ton more calories...I couldn't see where I was going it was snowing so hard. To be quite honest, I was a little scared. I realized how people get lost in the snow. There was not a travelled path on the highway. I couldn't even see the highway.
Tonight our workout started with me running a mile. Not a flat mile either. Trainer decided to increase the incline. That SUX!!!! Let me share with you a snippet of conversation that occurred during tonight's arm and shoulder workout...
(Me lying on the bench with weights raised above my head and bending them at a 90 degree angle over my face)
Mike: Faster (as he snaps his fingers)
Me: I'm trying
Mike: Lower
Me: It burns
Mike: What's that face you're making?
LOL!!! I do make some crazy faces. I am TERRIFIED of hurting my shoulder again. I woke up this morning and it was sore. I was worried that because of our workout last night the pain was starting again. Mike assures me I need to work through it.
Mike told me that he and my husband have been talking and they have big things planned for me this year. (This conversation occurred last night.) So I've had all day to think things like, "What are the two of them dreaming up?" Tonight I asked for clarification. Let's just say I think I'm going to be working harder than ever in preparation of the big 40. That's good though. I want to be pushed. I feel like Mike was really pushing me tonight. Especially when he ended my workout by making me run sprints with 150 pushups. And when I was ready to quit he gave me the half glass full speech. For those of you who don't know my husband, he is an eternal optimist. He is always a glass half full kind of guy. This works out very nicely most of the time. As long as he realizes sometimes I need reassurance and gentle nugding to get to the half full. I am half full most of the time. I do have my moments of feeling overwhelmed and stressed. Anyway, tonight when I was struggling with the thought of running sprints (5 sprints, 50 pushups, 4 sprints, 40 pushups, 3 sprints, 30 pushups, 2 sprints, 20 pushups, 1 sprint, 10 pushups)Mike said, "You need to have more of your husband's attitude." I must have given a perplexed look. He said, "You know, glass half full. Right now you're the glass half empty." To which I replied, "My husband isn't in here running sprints right now." And off I went...my legs were stiff and it was a bit painful, but I did it. On about the third sprint, at the end. Mike thought it was my attempt at River Dancing. It was totally not what I meant to do. I LOVE River Dancing, but I am not coordinated enough to even try it. I've seen River Dance at the theater before, but I think my most favorite River Dancing EVER was what Kate Winslet and Leonardo DeCaprio did in one of my most FAVORITE movies ever...TITANIC!!! ;)
And with that friends, I've had my protein drink, my dinner, and my shower...and I'm now headed for my after workout sleep which is usually the best sleep!
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Stressed??? Little bit...
I've been working out every day. Feeling much better. I'm still very stressed. I have a lot on my plate at work. I'm in the last semester of course work for my doctorate. The due dates are overwhelming. I can't keep up. Add to that the fact that my Grandpa isn't doing well at all. His cancer is spreading and we think he has the first signs of dementia. Here's what you need to know...I think my Grandpa is pretty much the most amazing Christian I have ever known. He has taught me soooo much. I often think I want to be more like him when I grow up. You never want to see a loved one suffer with cancer. Grandpa has lost his wife and his son in the past two years. He has handled both losses with grace beyond comprehension. I am worried about him and the journey he has ahead. I'm praying the suffering will not be harsh.
During high stress times it's hard for me to stay focused on eating right. I am quick to grab easy foods or comfort foods. It really requires a lot of intention for me to eat the right things. Working out is easy for me to stay focused on because it makes me feel so much better. Our neighbors did invite us to Sonic for ice cream Sunday night. I went. While my husband and Bob and Shirley ordered their sweet treats I ordered an ice water. I didn't feel like blowing all of the working out I had been doing. It's not always easy for me to make those decisions though. I wish I was one of those people that didn't like to eat when I was stressed. That rarely happens.
Tonight on Biggest Loser, Jillian was sipping on a coffee during a last chance workout. She told the contestants she didn't care if they puked as a matter of fact she might like it she was just getting her caffeine on. I must tell you I have experienced moments like this at the gym. My trainer has come in sipping coffee. He has told me it's his goal to make me puke. For sure several times I thought he was going to reach that goal.
This past Sunday was a nice day, but really windy. All day long I was thinking that I was going to be running sprints or lunges in the parking lot. I didn't give any thought to the hill until Trainer Mike and I stood at the base. I can't say I ran up the hill three times that wouldn't be accurate. See the hill is so steep that you almost become horizontal with it as you are going up. Even though I'm trying to run up the hill it's not really running, but it does indeed get your heart rate right up there. And after that there were the sprints. Of course the sprints were followed by lots of work inside the gym that left me nice and sore. I am being slightly sarcastic, but the soreness I get as a result of a Mike workout is nice. As bad as it hurts, it is a GREAT feeling. It hurts so good.
Just one more Biggest Loser funny...tonight Bob introduced this exercise called the scorpion twist. It starts out as a push up and then you kick one leg behind you, flip over on your back, lift the opposite leg and touch that foot with the opposing hand. It was just me and the cats here...I gave it a shot...I fell...gave it another try...fell again...and then it became personal...after five attempts I conquered it. I'm certainly thankful there wasn't a video camera in the living room.
Anyway, I'm trudging along in this beating the bulge journey. I want the scales to go down faster...UGH!!! No matter what I say to them they just won't listen!
During high stress times it's hard for me to stay focused on eating right. I am quick to grab easy foods or comfort foods. It really requires a lot of intention for me to eat the right things. Working out is easy for me to stay focused on because it makes me feel so much better. Our neighbors did invite us to Sonic for ice cream Sunday night. I went. While my husband and Bob and Shirley ordered their sweet treats I ordered an ice water. I didn't feel like blowing all of the working out I had been doing. It's not always easy for me to make those decisions though. I wish I was one of those people that didn't like to eat when I was stressed. That rarely happens.
Tonight on Biggest Loser, Jillian was sipping on a coffee during a last chance workout. She told the contestants she didn't care if they puked as a matter of fact she might like it she was just getting her caffeine on. I must tell you I have experienced moments like this at the gym. My trainer has come in sipping coffee. He has told me it's his goal to make me puke. For sure several times I thought he was going to reach that goal.
This past Sunday was a nice day, but really windy. All day long I was thinking that I was going to be running sprints or lunges in the parking lot. I didn't give any thought to the hill until Trainer Mike and I stood at the base. I can't say I ran up the hill three times that wouldn't be accurate. See the hill is so steep that you almost become horizontal with it as you are going up. Even though I'm trying to run up the hill it's not really running, but it does indeed get your heart rate right up there. And after that there were the sprints. Of course the sprints were followed by lots of work inside the gym that left me nice and sore. I am being slightly sarcastic, but the soreness I get as a result of a Mike workout is nice. As bad as it hurts, it is a GREAT feeling. It hurts so good.
Just one more Biggest Loser funny...tonight Bob introduced this exercise called the scorpion twist. It starts out as a push up and then you kick one leg behind you, flip over on your back, lift the opposite leg and touch that foot with the opposing hand. It was just me and the cats here...I gave it a shot...I fell...gave it another try...fell again...and then it became personal...after five attempts I conquered it. I'm certainly thankful there wasn't a video camera in the living room.
Anyway, I'm trudging along in this beating the bulge journey. I want the scales to go down faster...UGH!!! No matter what I say to them they just won't listen!
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Sprinting in the Parking Lot in February
A GORGEOUS Day today. 75 degrees in February. WOOT HOOT! Just a few days ago we had snow on the ground. Two weeks ago it was a blizzard. One week ago it was dangerously freezing temperatures. All day long I was excited about my workout with Mike. We've had some problems with schedules and it has been two weeks since we worked out. I met my goal for the past two weeks and have made it to the gym every day with the exception of the day I had class. I'm soooo proud of this. I have felt a lot better.
Now as I looked forward to the workout with Trainer Mike, I had a couple of fleeting thoughts..."It's really nice out. We could do parking lot lunges." Followed by "I'm not meeting him until 6:00 it will be dark there is no way we will go into the parking lot."
Trainer Mike arrived and I wanted to hug him I was so excited to get an intense workout in. He gave me a smile and said let's do a mile on the treadmill. I gave him a look. I did my mile. UGH! We followed that by kettle ball farmer walks, kettle ball dead lifts, and push ups, and lunges. And then he said, "Come on we're going outside." I said, "But it's dark." He just gave me that look. I ran three parking lot sprints. With my trainer yelling me on with terms like "Faster, faster, come on, that looks great. There was also a component of him directing me to not get hit by a car in the lot, but I'm alive and well. Aside from the fact that I thought I might pass out, all of the sprinting in the gym this winter paid off. I did much better than I did last year. AND I LOVED IT!!! It was a great feeling to get that air into my lunges. I can't wait for the weather to change so we can do this consistently.
So goals are being met. I've been extremely stressed recently and going to the gym has been so therapeutic. Also I needed to get back into the routine with Mike and get my butt kicked. He did it in full force. Loved every minute of it. I get to workout with Mike again on Sunday. Just Bring it!
Now as I looked forward to the workout with Trainer Mike, I had a couple of fleeting thoughts..."It's really nice out. We could do parking lot lunges." Followed by "I'm not meeting him until 6:00 it will be dark there is no way we will go into the parking lot."
Trainer Mike arrived and I wanted to hug him I was so excited to get an intense workout in. He gave me a smile and said let's do a mile on the treadmill. I gave him a look. I did my mile. UGH! We followed that by kettle ball farmer walks, kettle ball dead lifts, and push ups, and lunges. And then he said, "Come on we're going outside." I said, "But it's dark." He just gave me that look. I ran three parking lot sprints. With my trainer yelling me on with terms like "Faster, faster, come on, that looks great. There was also a component of him directing me to not get hit by a car in the lot, but I'm alive and well. Aside from the fact that I thought I might pass out, all of the sprinting in the gym this winter paid off. I did much better than I did last year. AND I LOVED IT!!! It was a great feeling to get that air into my lunges. I can't wait for the weather to change so we can do this consistently.
So goals are being met. I've been extremely stressed recently and going to the gym has been so therapeutic. Also I needed to get back into the routine with Mike and get my butt kicked. He did it in full force. Loved every minute of it. I get to workout with Mike again on Sunday. Just Bring it!
Thursday, February 10, 2011
I Know My Limitations
The other night at the gym I had an experience. I posted about it on FB. I have some humorous friends...one in particular could be a stand up comedian. I just feel that I have to put this on my blog in order to save this experience. I am a clutz for those of you who don't know me well. Just today I slipped in the hall at school and ended up in the splits. A student said, "Mrs. Bunch, you are really good at the splits." I told him thank you, but inside I thought "I didn't mean to do the splits. Good think I've been working out." If you were to have a conversation with my mom about the injuries I have sustained over the years she just starts laughing. There are too many to remember them all. And they are so random...flipping head first over your bicycle, cutting your hand and requiring five stitches because of a coke bottle that was sitting on a shelf, falling while attempting to roller skate and knocking yourself out, falling down a flight of stairs and spraining your ankle bad enough it has to be in a cast...I could go on and on and on...there are some things I just know I shouldn't try. I think it is a sign of strength to be able to admit your limitations.
My Post:Tonight at the gym on the Elliptical watching the Food Network. The show was The Best Thing I Ever Ate...CAKE!!! Torture! The guy next to me on the treadmill was running at a level 10. He disappeared from my view. I glanced over because I thought maybe he fell off. He was running backward on the thing. Now that's talent and something I will never try! Cause you know what would happen to me...
Stephanie Bingman Kice: Frankly, I am surprised you didn't fall just looking over at him.
Lauren Sullivan-Stoner: HAHAHAHA That made me snort!
Dan Stewart: Keep your eyes straight forward Stoner.
Stephanie Bingman Kice: I think it is dangerous for you watch TV while you are on the elliptical. There are too many moving parts....
Lauren Sullivan-Stoner: LOL
Dan Stewart: Tonight on Emergency 911...It was a calm evening at the gym until this young lady decided it was time to turn her head to the left...watch on this video...as she keeps trying to pull her left foot from the eliptical while her other leg has wrapped around her neck...somehow her big toe is stuck in ther mouth. Took 2 paramedics to pull her foot out and 2 more to run CPR on the other people in the gym who had laughed themselves into cardiac arrest.
Stephanie Bingman Kice: ...longtime friends report that they knew it was only a matter of time before this ticking time bomb went off.
Linda Green Cottingham: Dan, you are a riot!
Dan Stewart: One witness said "well you could tell somthing bad was going to happen when she walked in. She stubbed her toe on the door threashold then hit her head on the military press when she tied her shoe. Lke a huricane that was predicted days in advance you can just see somethings coming."
Josie Stiles: Oh my goodness that wouldn't end well for me!!!!!!!!
Tammy Stone Bunch: Laughing so hard I'm crying is an understatement. I had to call my mom and read this to her, but then I was laughing even harder because of how hard she was laughing. I think I just burned more calories because of this post than I have in the last two nights at the gym! As my mom said, "It's so nice that your friends know you so well." Love you guys...really needed this tonight.
Larry Bunch: The sad thing is....its all true
Stephanie Bingman Kice: We love you too!!!!
Stephanie Brown DeClue: Dan, that was too funny - and scary accurate!
This commentary only provides support to my thinking that I shall never ever try to run backward on a treadmill! These dear friends know me too well.
My Post:Tonight at the gym on the Elliptical watching the Food Network. The show was The Best Thing I Ever Ate...CAKE!!! Torture! The guy next to me on the treadmill was running at a level 10. He disappeared from my view. I glanced over because I thought maybe he fell off. He was running backward on the thing. Now that's talent and something I will never try! Cause you know what would happen to me...
Stephanie Bingman Kice: Frankly, I am surprised you didn't fall just looking over at him.
Lauren Sullivan-Stoner: HAHAHAHA That made me snort!
Dan Stewart: Keep your eyes straight forward Stoner.
Stephanie Bingman Kice: I think it is dangerous for you watch TV while you are on the elliptical. There are too many moving parts....
Lauren Sullivan-Stoner: LOL
Dan Stewart: Tonight on Emergency 911...It was a calm evening at the gym until this young lady decided it was time to turn her head to the left...watch on this video...as she keeps trying to pull her left foot from the eliptical while her other leg has wrapped around her neck...somehow her big toe is stuck in ther mouth. Took 2 paramedics to pull her foot out and 2 more to run CPR on the other people in the gym who had laughed themselves into cardiac arrest.
Stephanie Bingman Kice: ...longtime friends report that they knew it was only a matter of time before this ticking time bomb went off.
Linda Green Cottingham: Dan, you are a riot!
Dan Stewart: One witness said "well you could tell somthing bad was going to happen when she walked in. She stubbed her toe on the door threashold then hit her head on the military press when she tied her shoe. Lke a huricane that was predicted days in advance you can just see somethings coming."
Josie Stiles: Oh my goodness that wouldn't end well for me!!!!!!!!
Tammy Stone Bunch: Laughing so hard I'm crying is an understatement. I had to call my mom and read this to her, but then I was laughing even harder because of how hard she was laughing. I think I just burned more calories because of this post than I have in the last two nights at the gym! As my mom said, "It's so nice that your friends know you so well." Love you guys...really needed this tonight.
Larry Bunch: The sad thing is....its all true
Stephanie Bingman Kice: We love you too!!!!
Stephanie Brown DeClue: Dan, that was too funny - and scary accurate!
This commentary only provides support to my thinking that I shall never ever try to run backward on a treadmill! These dear friends know me too well.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)