As I was starting my day today a friend stopped at my office door and said, "Have you seen the bloody teacher's lounge?" I looked at her stunned. "It's pay day treats. Don't go in there. Chocolate cake, brownies, and a bucket of candy this big." My friend who had her arms outstretched to show me the size of the bucket of candy is on Weight Watchers. Well twenty minutes later I had to go make a copy. Readers, I am honestly reporting to you that she was not EVEN kidding. Do you think I wanted a piece of the chocolate cake? NOPE!!! I wanted to bury my head in it and not come up for air until I had inhaled the entire thing. It looked so moist with thick frosting (and a lot of it!). Nevermind the chips and cheese dip, the dip and crackers, the sausage and cheese, and the veges and dip. All I wanted was that chocolate. If you think that I have gained a lot of will power, you might be mistaken. I avoided the lounge like the plague for most of the day. Yet, it was as though the cake were whispering in my ear in a seductful way, "I'm here. I'm waiting. Come here beautiful!"
I don't know if anyone noticed or not, but when I did have to go in that wicked aroma filled room I had my hands in my back pockets. The whole blessed day. The jeans I was wearing were too big. At one point today as I was standing with my hands shoved as deeply as they would go, I learned I can take the jeans on and off without a snap or a zipper. (I didn't moon anyone, but did learn I probably need to go buy a new pair.)At lunch as I was waiting for my protein and veges to heat up I glanced closer at the brownies. BROWNIES WITH CARAMEL???? Truly, only people trying to sabotage me would have brought those. REALLY??? To everyone who took a bite...I asked "Are they worth it?" Not one person told me "No, they aren't worth it." They all made these moaning sounds. Where is my support system when I need it? Who are these people that have been cheering me on? Where did my friends go? One gentleman said, "Aren't you going to do it? Trainer couldn't even resist those." "My arms hurt so bad from the 200 pushups I did yesterday that I just don't think I should." Now as I'm saying this I'm thinking...I'm going to eat one of those brownies and just a taste of cake. But as I said it, the gentelman almost choked on his buffalo chicken chip and said, "You did not do 200 pushups. Be real. I can't even do 200 pushups." "If you count the 20 pike pushups I certainly did do 200 pushups!" "I don't believe you. Call Trainer Mike right now. Get him on the phone." Now I had a point to prove and I couldn't cave and eat the brownie or the bloody chocolate cake! On the day went. I did notice with my hands shoved in my back pockets that there is less of my butt. It feels firmer and tighter. This might seem weird, but keeping my hands on my butt kept me from indulging in brownies or the bloody chocolate cake all day! Not to mention the enormous container of Hershey's chocolate and other candy! Let's move on to the real pain in the butt...
My arms, legs, and abs have been sore all day. Tonight I walked into the gym and decided I would get the legs out of the way first. After doing leg presses and some hamstring work, I moved to the abductor/adductor machine. I was feeling pretty full of myself so I thought..."I'll just do 100 of these and then do cardio." I made it to exactly 93 and got a cramp in my butt. Please don't mistake this for a "Oh it is really sore burn." You know those charley horses you get in your leg in the middle of the night? That's what was happening in my butt. I was trying to remain calm. Sitting spread eagle acting like I was just pausing in my workout. In the few seconds this lasted (which felt much more like minutes) thoughts ran through my head. "Woman stuck on weight machine." "Gym calls emergency team to remove woman from weight machine" (which would have involved both my trainer and my husband tonight). Finally, the cramp subsided and I was able to get on the stepper and do my cardio. Now I go to bed with sore arms, sore legs, sore abs, AND a sore butt, but I didn't eat the brownies or the bloody chocolate cake! SCORE: 1 for Bunchy 0 for the Bulge!!!
I'm just going to add that yesterday Trainer Mike had me on a new contraption for abs because "Doing abs the other way isn't working for you anymore." You have to hook your feet around this thing and lay back. I jumped off several times before I even did a crunch because I was scared I was going to fall. Trainer Mike was relentless. "You are doing these," with this smirk on his face like I was a moron. Now with my accident history...do you blame me? Like I should by lying upside down ready to fall on my head? He assured me even if I did fall it would only be six inches or so. Have I mentioned that I never fall gracefully? A lot could happen to me in six inches. Tonight there was this high school kid using this contraption and the brilliant young lad put a foam block. Duh!!! Even though my orders were "Get used to this, we are going to be on it a lot" I didn't try it tonight on my own. Maybe tomorrow...for now...back to doctorate work!
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