Bunchy Boot Camp

I decided to make spring break my Boot Camp. Trying to jump start myself back into a serious routine. I feel like I'm fighting for every pound at this point. I need to be able to eat like my body is a machine and feed it only what will make it more efficient. It is a struggle every single day. I'm either terrified to eat or I'm craving food that isn't good for me. These past two days I've eaten very healthy. Eggs, chicken, veges, and protein shakes. I have no choices left. You know I was just watching a show on people climbing Mt. Everest. The higher they climb it's difficult to lift each leg to take a step. That's kind of how I'm feeling with eating. It is the biggest challenge for me in this journey. Most days I still feel like a failure. I feel like I should be losing faster. I know it's my own fault that I haven't lost more pounds. When you have struggled with eating forever it's difficult to change bad habits. I question everything that goes in my mouth.

I'm really sore tonight. Last night's workout with Trainer Mike was the second of the day and I call it a Near Death Experience. At one point, I asked him if he still liked me because we were hitting it so hard. He insisted it was for my own good. When I got on the scales this morning I had lost three pounds since yesterday morning. My mom asked what he had me doing...it was a set of lunges right into jumping jacks followed by push ups and then repeating the whole thing. Arm exercises and mountain climbers and frog hoppers and dead lifts. I truly felt like crying at one point. When I got home I puked. So I woke up this morning and was sore, but went to the gym anyway and did cardio. Tonight I went back and worked arms. Now in addition to my legs and abs being sore from last night, my arms are burning too.

Let me just add here that we have moved from "fake" pushups (on my knees) to real pushups most of the time now. I never thought this would be a possibility for me. It's surreal that I'm doing real pushups. Not all the time, but they are definately being incorporated.

Please don't think I'm complaining. I LOVE challenging workouts. Maybe not in the moment, but after I'm on a high. It's like "WOW! You did it!" Even today, I'm still pumped from last night and can't wait until my next trainer session.

I'll keep you posted on how the Boot Camp goes. Right now...I need to get back to some homework...