I Can Only Imagine

I told my trainer's daughter tonight that he gives conflicting messages sometimes. The other day he told me speed doesn't matter, it's the motion. Tonight, I'm on this abductor/adductor machine for my legs. They were on fire, people! On FIRE! And what is my command? "Faster, faster..." Speed might not have mattered last week, but evidently tonight it did. I think I forgot to mention that last session I did leg presses with 360 pounds. Quite a few actually. It was scary. I was worried I was going to drop it, but I didn't. When we were working my back he told me he wanted a cheat at the end. This means that I pull the weight down anyway I can get it down. His daughter said, "Why do you want her to cheat?" Thank You!!! My question exactly because I've been in trouble before for using my hips when I'm supposed to be using my back or shoulders. Here was his response, "It's okay for her to cheat when I tell her to. It's what I want her to do and how I want her to do it."

We ended tonight's workout with me doing 30 seconds of jumping jacks followed by dropping to the floor on my back and doing abs for 30 seconds repeated three times. Trainer was sitting on an exercise ball and the only other person in the gym, came up and grabbed another ball. As she was rolling it away she gave me a thumbs up and said, "Great job. You're awesome!" It made me feel so good. Then as she was leaving the gym, she said, "You did a great job." I'm telling you words of affirmation is certainly my love language.

Tomorrow morning I am going to Leawood to meet my Mom and Dad. Sandy can't attend, but Mom and I are walking the Free to Breathe 5k in honor of my uncle. I do think it might be a smidge chilly. As my dad said, "At least you and your mom will be walking and keeping warm." I advised him to wear a jacket. He's our photographer. It doesn't seem possible that we are about to start our fourth month without my uncle. It's really weird and unreal to me. Yesterday, I had a second grader asking me what I thought Heaven was like. I wouldn't have answered her if her mom weren't there. There is the whole church and state rule I have to adhere to. Anyway, this little girl...they had a young family member who died a tragic death and the little girl is really struggling with it. (I'm now sobbing typing this.) The little girl said, "Mrs. Bunch, do you think she hurts anymore? Does she have to worry about people being mean to her?" I told her that based on everything I know about Heaven there is no more pain, no more suffering. The Mercy Me song "I Can Only Imagine"...comes to mind. There is the peace I find when I start missing my uncle knowing that he doesn't have to suffer anymore. If you haven't heard the song...it's one of my favorites...
"Surrounded by Your glory, what will my heart feel
Will I dance for you Jesus or in honour of you be still
Will I stand in your presence or to my knees will I fall
Will I sing hallelujah, will I be able to speak at all
I can only imagine"
Well friends...thinking about the second grader started me crying and now I'm thinking about other stuff and crying harder and I'm going to short the computer out if I keep typing because I am NOT okay at this moment...signing off for now!!!