Went to the dr today for this hideous allergy/sinus problem I've developed as a result of dust and mold. I was up most of the night itching and coughing. Feel like crud. Anyway, dr walks into the room looks at me and says, "Did you ever in your wildest dreams think this was possible for you?" No I never thought this was possible. According to his scales I'm officially down 15 pounds now. I whined that it needs to be coming off quicker, but doc is extremely happy and says one day I'm going to hop on the scales and it will just start falling off.
Now I've taken my drugs and am lying in bed watching Biggest Loser. I've been into this show since the Ali season. I've watched it religiously and thought wow what an opportunity those people have. I've picked up some tips, but have always thought I could never work out like that because I have a shoulder issue and some other back issues and I don't have time and a myriad of other excuses. Guess what? I'm doing it now. I've been crying through most of tonight's episode mixed with a little chuckling. As contestants have said, "I'm going to die or I can't do this"...I think in almost every training session I have I say, "I'm going to die." And I might even say it multiple times doing a workout. Yet, I also find myself relating to the guy on here who says you just have to put one foot in front of the other. You have to tell yourself you can do it...it's mental. ABSOLUTELY! SOOOO VERY TRUE! I used to be scared of the challenge, but I'm not scared anymore. Now I know I can. Now instead of feeling fearful of workouts, I feel like I'm never giving it enough. That feeling permeates throughout most of what I do in my life, but is intensified in this part of the journey.
Last season on Biggest Loser there was a gal that started out at a weight within three pounds of my weight. It scared me badly. Really bad. I couldn't bring myself to call the trainer because I was too fat to workout. That is what I thought. It was finally in desperation at the end of the Biggest Loser season that I made the call. Watching my favorite show has a whole new meaning for me now. It's gone to a whole new level.
The pushups we did last night...I did pushups with 140 pounds on my back. My chest not only scratches and burns on the inside from the allergy thing, but also is very sore because those pushups rocked it for me.
You may not yet be seeing the numbers on the scale you want, but the strentgh you have gained both physically and mentally is priceless. Pushups with 140 pounds on your back? Seriously?? My 18 year old nephew who is training for Air Force basic training can't do that. You are stronger than pretty much anybody I know. Keep on truckin girl!
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