A New Red Dress

Three hours since my workout and I still feel a little naseous. Today was the Pre Thanksgiving workout with Friday being the post. I'll workout on my own tomorrow. A year ago I would have considered a holiday a day off from whatever workout routine I was embracing at the time. Now it doesn't matter what the day is working out is healthy and makes me feel good. So tomorrow while at my mom's I'll concentrate on veges and protein, but it's my cheat meal so carbs will be allowed as long as I go back on the diet at the next meal. Is it worth it? Yep! Let me share an example of why...

A band I really like, Cherry Bomb, got the Hyatt gig for New Year's Eve. My friend Stephanie's husband plays in the band so she will be in attendance and it's a formal affair. She called today to see if I was ready to go dress shopping. Immediate dread overcame me. Oh no...dress shopping. However, I went and came home with a red spaghetti strap number. It's six sizes smaller than the last time I dress shopped. With that said, I want to make the most out of the next month of working out to wear that dress well. The fact that I was in the store, trying on dresses and they were fitting and I wasn't mortified...that made it TOTALLY worth it.

And yesterday I wore a new outfit to work. It was different than how I normally dress. I walked in the door and my friend Miah (whom has been such a supporter in her humorous compliments) gave a cat call. I was told I looked "cute as a button". Compliments came all day long. That feedback keeps me motivated. I don't want you to think I'm egocentric or anything...I'm not. The compliments and results keep me motivated to go. It's hard work. Very hard work. And it feels good when people recognize the changes. I wish it didn't matter to me. I wish I was above that...maybe this is a piece I need to work on. But you need to know...I'm weak. I still feel like I could fail at any moment. I still feel like I'm not working hard enough. Food tempts me every day. Time challenges my workouts every day. Encouragement keeps me going. Thank you all for that.

A conversation with a friend this week made me realize that some of you might not know how I met my trainer. He works with my husband. I had heard mention of this guy and his bodybuilding and working out for a while. In January or February my husband said, "I was telling Mike about your struggles with weight. He thinks he could help you." I think this was pretty courageous of him. I mean who wants to say to their wife..."Oh by the way...I talked to a personal trainer for you" It has been a struggle for soooo long, but I totally blew my husband off. "We don't have the money for that." Inside I was thinking "I'm TOO fat to workout with a trainer. Goodness! I need to lose some weight before I can do that." A couple of months passed. A new diet scheme passed. One that made me really sick. I was at an all time low for weight loss. Really depressed by it actually. I had no energy. A year previous the doctor had told me I was borderline diabetic and I had to go back to him this past April. He again said something about my weight. It TOTALLY made me mad and I LOVE my doctor. But, he hit a nerve with me. So very reluctantly I asked for Mike's number and called him. Truthfully, I thought I would work out with him once or twice for a month at the most and I would have passed through another phase and failed. Well...obviously I was wrong. I can admit this. I told Mike tonight that as long as he lives in the area he'll need to count on me being part of his weekly schedule. I wouldn't go back to my old ways for anything. As grueling as this is sometimes, it is sooo worth it. From the bottom of my heart I appreciate my husband's initiative. This journey is a gift to me. A true gift. You recognized how unhappy I was and cared enough to nudge me in the right direction. I will be eternally grateful. THANK YOU!