Scared...

I leave for Columbia Monday. It's intense there. Lots of work to do. We're staying in a hotel with a gym, but I'm worried about getting my workouts in. I'm terrified about eating. CRIKEY! This is going to stink. I really want to get another workout in with Mike before I leave. Hope he has Saturday off or that we can work out Sunday or Monday. I feel like I need a hard core workout before I leave.

I can feel the progress. I don't want to lose momentum in this part of my life just because the intensity of another part of my life is picking up.

People are cracking me up on Facebook with their comments about my 200 push ups. I must say...my arms and shoulders are hurting already. This means I'll be feeling FANtastic in the morning. I used to think it was a big deal to do 20 push ups, but I must say I'm impressed with myself. One person said, "So seriously? Didn't you just want to quit?" No, not so much. Another friend said, "Where did you find this guy? He must be really inspiring. I wish I could find someone like that. How does he motivate you like that?" The deal is (and pardon me if I've said this before...I don't remember)there could not be a better match for me in a trainer. Mike is absolutely perfect. It's an amazing balance and I am motivated. I promise that if I were working with someone else these changes would not be happening. After only a few workouts together I asked him, "So you don't plan on moving away anytime soon? Cause I'm in this for the long term." He assured me he would be around for a long time. There are several reasons it's a great match. He is really knowledgeable about the body and fitness and food and how they all work together. I'm always learning something. We can joke around while working out and humor is important to me. I think he is really insightful about how bad I want this and how challenging it's been for me as well as being in tune to the mental blocks I allow to get in the way. Anyway, ODE TO THE TRAINER!

I've digressed from being scared...I'm scared about a lot in my life right now. It doesn't all have to do with working out. It's about half that and half the doctorate program. Obviously, I'm scared of all of the work that looms ahead for both. What if in a year I don't reach my fitness goals? What if I can't land on a dissertation topic? What if I don't get a position next year as either a principal or an assistant principal? Most importantly...I'm scared of the changed person I am. When I came back from Columbia last summer I knew I was different and I've continued to change throughout the year. It all scares me.

Well...until next time...