Small Questions Big Answers

I went to the gym tonight after receiving a post from Mike on FB that said we were going to do treadmill sprints. I am not a runner and I am a clutz. Before I left I called my sister to tell her I had spoken to our cousin and asked he and his brother to be pall bearers at my future. I also want my friend Dan and my other friend Dan to be pall bearers. I hadn't figured out the 6th one yet, but since I was going to meet my death I wanted to be prepared.

It took me a while to figure out how to jump onto a moving treadmill. More confidence was required to jump off a moving treadmill, but indeed that is what I did every thirty seconds. And guess who controlled the speed of the treadmill? You got it...Mike. Before I knew it we were going 5mph. This is not a lot to most athletes, but since the thought of moving at more than a brisk walking pace terrifies me and causes my heart rate to increase, it was a huge deal for me. I actually liked it so much I want to go try it on my own tomorrow.

After bench pressing and push ups, Mike decided we would do an assisted chin up. I can't really describe this contraption, but involves climbing up two steps which are significantly off the ground and putting your knees in these spots which causes you to drop closer to the ground. Then you pull yourself up. You do it repeatedly. It was hard. I lack upper body strength in a major way. But to quote the trainer, "We'll get there."

Then came what seemed to be a small question from Mike. "Do you trust me?" "Yes, I trust you." Next question seemed pretty small too. "Do you trust yourself?" WHOA! Throat got a little tight and I timidly said, "Yes." This answer won me the honor of learning how to do a pike push up. You have to trust yourself or you'll land flat on your face. Anyway, after that moment...I started thinking..."Do I trust myself?" And the answer is...not usually. I certainly believe that if I work really really hard I can probably achieve a goal. However, I believe that I have to work at least twice as hard as everyone else. And weight loss has been a challenge because I have NEVER trusted myself in this area before. So not only is this journey about endurance, gaining physical strength, and changing my lifestyle...more importantly...it's about learning to trust that I have what it takes and I can do it. This is a big answer for me...could be a life changing answer for me...it was certainly an ah ha moment.