Stupid Leg!!!

My knees are getting better thanks to the chiropractor and a massage therapist. Although, I just noticed bruises all over my body from the massage therapist...oh well. It was intense.

Today was my first day back in the gym since last Tuesday. Mike and I worked primarily upper body. I'm a wimp. I have no upper body strength. This makes me really mad. What makes me even more mad is the fact that I feel like I'm not working as hard because of my knees. I don't want to have to baby anything along. I want to go as hard as I can everytime I'm in the gym. I'm this way in most aspects of my life. It's an A or an F. If I can't give 200% then I get an F which is not acceptable. EVER!

On a lighter note...
I'm watching Biggest Loser. I really hope Mike doesn't watch this show. There are things the trainers have contestants do that I know he would think are "fun". They look terrifying to me. However, these people have lost a lot of weight. A lot of them over or close to 100 pounds. I want sooooo badly to do that!!! I think this is why I'm so mad at my knee...I just want to do it....I want it soooo bad.

Knees Give Me A Break Please!!!

This post might not be as funny as some of the rest. I'm VERY frustrated. I woke up Saturday morning and went and walked a 5k. My knees felt a little stiff afterward, but no big deal. I went to the gym Saturday night and did 10 minutes of treadmill sprints, but my knees were hurting pretty bad so I gave it up. A couple of sharp pains, but mostly just extreme tightness. I skipped the gym Sunday. Monday I went to my chiropractor who thinks I've twisted both knees. He adjusted them and told me to take another night off. Today was supposed to be a workout with my trainer, but he is sick. I went to the gym and did upper body and arms, finishing up with 20 minutes on level one on the eliptical. My knees didn't hurt at all while I was on there. Now they are SCREAMING. I have ice on them again. They hurt on the inside of my leg just below the knee cap. Maybe this isn't even my knees. It's odd that they both hurt in the same place. I can't afford an injury. I'm just getting started. EEEEERRRRR!!!!

Abs Screaming From Within

Until our third workout we had only briefly worked abs. Two days ago we worked abs rather intensley at the end of the session. Crunches, full sit-ups, holding my legs 6 inches off the floor for what seemed like an eternity. Then I had to hold on to Mike's ankles while he pushed my legs to the floor. My job was to keep my legs from hitting the floor. He tossed my legs to the left and to the center and to the right. Then the pattern ended and it was wherever he felt like throwing them. We finished with Pilates crunches. I have to say...it didn't hurt yesterday. Today, I can hardly walk. My husband thinks I'm walking like a retarded dinosaur. The neighbors are worried I'm going to get a hemorroid. I said, "A hemorroid?" They said, "Well it looks like you've got to go really bad and you're straining." "NO!!! It just hurts to stand up straight."

Mike says everyone has a six pack, you just have to find it through working out. Well...mine is buried DEEP and it is going to take a lot of working out to find it, but I am encouraged by the fact that there are muscles still there. I know this because they are SCREAMING to let me know they exist.

Small Questions Big Answers

I went to the gym tonight after receiving a post from Mike on FB that said we were going to do treadmill sprints. I am not a runner and I am a clutz. Before I left I called my sister to tell her I had spoken to our cousin and asked he and his brother to be pall bearers at my future. I also want my friend Dan and my other friend Dan to be pall bearers. I hadn't figured out the 6th one yet, but since I was going to meet my death I wanted to be prepared.

It took me a while to figure out how to jump onto a moving treadmill. More confidence was required to jump off a moving treadmill, but indeed that is what I did every thirty seconds. And guess who controlled the speed of the treadmill? You got it...Mike. Before I knew it we were going 5mph. This is not a lot to most athletes, but since the thought of moving at more than a brisk walking pace terrifies me and causes my heart rate to increase, it was a huge deal for me. I actually liked it so much I want to go try it on my own tomorrow.

After bench pressing and push ups, Mike decided we would do an assisted chin up. I can't really describe this contraption, but involves climbing up two steps which are significantly off the ground and putting your knees in these spots which causes you to drop closer to the ground. Then you pull yourself up. You do it repeatedly. It was hard. I lack upper body strength in a major way. But to quote the trainer, "We'll get there."

Then came what seemed to be a small question from Mike. "Do you trust me?" "Yes, I trust you." Next question seemed pretty small too. "Do you trust yourself?" WHOA! Throat got a little tight and I timidly said, "Yes." This answer won me the honor of learning how to do a pike push up. You have to trust yourself or you'll land flat on your face. Anyway, after that moment...I started thinking..."Do I trust myself?" And the answer is...not usually. I certainly believe that if I work really really hard I can probably achieve a goal. However, I believe that I have to work at least twice as hard as everyone else. And weight loss has been a challenge because I have NEVER trusted myself in this area before. So not only is this journey about endurance, gaining physical strength, and changing my lifestyle...more importantly...it's about learning to trust that I have what it takes and I can do it. This is a big answer for me...could be a life changing answer for me...it was certainly an ah ha moment.

You can't have your cake and a firm butt too!

Strawberry cake in the lounge today. Moist...you could tell by looking at it. Just as my hand was about to touch the knife, Angie came behind me and said in her deepest man voice, "THIS IS TRAINER MIKE! EAT THAT AND IT'S MORE LUNGES AND PUSHUPS FOR YOU!" I walked briskly...some say I ran from the lounge. They say you can eat anything in moderation. For me, there is no moderation when it comes to cake. It's all or nothing. Three times in the past 7 days I have turned down cake, brownies, cookies, another cake, a mother's day cake, and today's strawberry cake.

Now if I could get this muscle spasm between my shoulder blades to go away I would be a happy camper. It startled me out of a deep sleep this morning around 3:15. I tried to readjust deeper into the bed and under the covers, but I ended up walking around the house doing a variety of weird stretches and swallowing a muscle relaxer before falling back asleep. Now, it's starting it's ugly performance again. And I really need a good night's sleep tonight since tomorrow night's workout will probably be rigorous to say the least.

The Day After Workout #2

I woke up this morning feeling muscles in the back of my arms that I have not felt in a long time if ever. The muscles down the sides of my chest hurt too. I went back to bed and woke up with thirty minutes to get to my Zumba class. Arriving ten minutes late, I jumped in to a high intensity workout that made my muscles scream. As the day has worn on the muscles in my thighs and butt have started speaking as well. Going through the grocery store and reaching and bending for items caused grunts to escape my mouth. Now getting on and of the toilet is painful. I have managed to vaccum and mop the floors while doing three loads of laundry (wish I didn't have to climb up and down the stairs to do this!). The thought of going to the gym tomorrow terrifies me. Lunges await me. Mike and I will be meeting again in three short days and I need to be ready. It is important that I keep telling myself I deserve this. I have never been scared to stretch myself mentally, but physically I chicken out pretty easily. The thing is...getting myself in shape physically is the hardest mental challenge I've entered into. And that includes my doctorate program.

Friday Night Workout

I took everything Mike told me on our first work out together seriously. I went to the gym and each time I did the weight machines followed by cardio. I went to a Zumba technique class and followed it with a real Zumba class the next night. I passed up my favorite food group CAKE twice. It was teacher appreciation week...there was food in the lounge every day. It looked good. I didn't partake.

The worst part for me this week hasn't been the working out...it's been the eating. I know I'm not eating enough calories...it is a true struggle. Then came my next session with Mike...I don't know what I expected...I don't know if I thought we would go over the weight machines again or what...

At 7:00 on a beautiful Friday night I entered the gym and told Mike my legs were still sore from Zumba to which he replied "That's fine. We'll loosen them up with some lunges." And he didn't mean just lunges. He meant lunges with weights. And then pushups. I HATE pushups. Lunges, pushups, lunges, pushups, lunges, pushups, jumping jacks. 20 minutes in he said, "Good now you're warmed up. Let's get started." Free weights to failure which means just when I can't lift the weight one more time he says I think you've got two or three more in you and THEN he puts his hands on the weights and together we do five more. At one point another dedicated gym member started laughing because of the look on my face.

I woke up this morning to feel muscles in the back of my arms and down the sides of my chest. I don't think I knew there were muscles there before today. However, not wanting to be a slacker, I jumped out of bed and went to catch a Zumba class.