Picture Time

For those of you that wanted visuals...here is Mike the trainer....

Mike The Trainer Takes Action

I shook all the way to the gym. Literally, my hands were shaking. I got out of my car at the same time Mike The Trainer got out of his car. We introduced ourselves and entered the gym where we got straight to business. I learned about what protein does for our body and just how much protein I will be eating. I also learned that if I eat like this for six weeks I will be granted a cheat meal. Not a day, a single meal. Of course at the end of our session I had to ask if he could send me the food plan because there were many details and he has really big arms that were distracting me.

"Okay Mike you need to know I've been in some crazy car accidents my neck and shoulder are screwed up. They will cause me pain." Mikes reply, "Tammy, they are healed. If they weren't healed you would be dead from the inflammation. We just need to work them differently. We'll get there. We're going to spend a lot of time on the free weights. I know girls shy away from that side of the gym and think it's only for the boys, but you will be working over there. As a matter of fact come on right now." So there I was pressing weight with Mike having me move my arm in different positions so he could feel where the injury was. He says it's the tendon which is tight and we can fix it. You have no idea how exciting this is to me. I've had this neck and shoulder pain for a very long time.

So then we went through the weight machine cirquit. We were getting closed to being finished and I thought we were going to hop on the ellipitical or treadmill or something. No....we started lunges. We lunged (actually I lunged) from one end of the gym to the other and since I did such a great job I got to go back the other way. It burned. I quit breathing. Mike reminded me to breathe. "Now sit against that wall for 30." For those of you that have never done a sitting squat it will make every part of your lower body burn and shake. They burn and shake more when the trainer counts so slowly. "Mike, you're counting too slow." "What's that Tammy? Oh no...what number were we at?" Yep...he started over.

Now it was time to lay on the floor to learn how to do three different forms of pushups. I hate pushups with a passion. It didn't help that the part of the floor we were on was surrounded by mirrors. YUCK! So as my hands were sweaty...they started to slide. "Mike my hands are sliding." "They're not now!" As he placed his hands on top of mine. We learned about crunches. We also learned about this thing where you put your hands under your butt and hold your legs six inches off the floor. Mike had to push my legs back down. "Someone has been lying to you about what six inches is." This is really funny, but we aren't taking time to laugh because we are going to do the plank and we are going to do the plank twice.

"Tammy you just nailed those lunges-give me two more sets-one down and one back." "Tammy are you breathing? You have to breathe." "Great job, girl. You did amazing. Now give me 15 more push ups."

We had a little bit more inspirational talk, discussed what I should do in the gym six days a week, and set up our appointment for next Wednesday. I'm tired. All the way home legs, arms, and butt were shaking. They aren't used to moving in that way. Now I have to go to bed so I can get up in the morning and have my 4 eggs with oatmeal. Seriously? 4 eggs? Maybe on the weekend in an omlette....

Holy Crap! It's Almost Time!

It's 5:30 and I am supposed to meet Mike at 7:00. I am scared out of my mind. I would have called him to cancel, but I don't like to disappoint anyone so I didn't call. I was also really scared he would yell at me. Okay...so I didn't REALLY think he would yell at me. I just thought he might have a tone that would make me cry or something. He might make me cry anyway. Not sure. I can't figure out if I'm supposed to eat dinner or not. I'm worried if I eat we'll start doing the workout thing and I'll puke. However, I'm worried that because I haven't eaten much this week we'll start doing the workout thing and I'll pass out. Either way it's embarrassing.

This whole thing is embarrassing. Who let's their weight get this out of control? It's obnoxious that I am in this situation at all.

Amy called a little while ago with her voice full of excitement over this adventure. To her, it's like I'm going to be on Biggest Loser. At this weight I could qualify for Biggest Loser no problem. I do need to get some pics up here. Amy wants to come video the adventure. That might make me money on America's Funniest Videos. Especially, when Amy asks questions that I have never thought of. Example: "How long are you going to work out with him?" Really? You would have thought that was a question I had asked him. I didn't. The flippin gym is open 24/7. Will I get to come home? Will I have time to shower before work tomorrow?


This is a short blog for now. because I am really terrified...more to come in a few hours.

Meet Mike The Trainer

I've only seen pics of this guy. Not a face to face yet. Pride was choked down today as I placed my call. Didn't take long for him to call me back. I told him I was going to join the gym today after work. He told me he was hearding cattle. I didn't hear beating hoofs so he must have been on a break. He said he would meet me this coming Thursday at 7:00. And, "You do have some homework to do before then." To which I thought, "Homework? Before our first session? Isn't it enough that I'm going to join the gym and work out all three days leading up to our meeting? " He continued, "What goals are you trying to accomplish?" "Well a little over a year ago I was diagnosed as borderline diabetic. It should have terrified me enough that I would have lost the weight, but I gained. So that's one goal. The other goal is my image. I am disgusted when I look in the mirror. If I never had to look in a mirror again it would be too soon (and now my throat is choking up and tears are in my eyes while I'm on the phone with a complete stranger.)" "Between now and Thursday you need to write down everything and I mean EVERYTHING that goes in your mouth. If it goes in...you write it down. Make a list of any part of your body that you have had pain issues with in the past (glad he clarified that...I have a feeling I'm going to be getting pain in places that aren't supposed to have pain). Be ready, we are going to get on the scales. I won't share the number with anyone. It will tell us what we are working with (like he won't see me and figure that out?) When you come to the gym, come in clothes you can move in because we are going to be moving. We will be doing benchpresses and many others because our goal is to build muscle to get your body working correctly. Your body isn't going to like how we are going to change it at first so you will hurt. And Tammy, I will kick your ass."

I don't necessarily think this is a nice thing to say to someone you've never met before. My FB friends have been very supportive tonight. Of course my posts have probably caused them some sort of comic relief. Nevertheless, I have received encouragement which is what I will need a lot of.

So I went online to look at his pictures. Uh huh...he doesn't look like Bob or Jillian...more like Rambo???

And since he gave me the assignment of writing down whatever goes in my mouth...I got out the food journal that I was going to use last year because I had read that writing down all food you eat is a key to successful weight loss. The journal has been in the desk drawer since a few days after it came home. I did find it...there is nothing to write down though...he gave me the directions of writing down anything that goes in my mouth right before lunch. Ironically, I haven't had an appetite since. So in the last 48 hours I have eaten a bowl of cereal and a breakfast burrito. (The cereal was last night's dinner)

Can't wait to meet Mike on Thursday....

I did go to the gym today. First time there. Got my key fob to open the door. That's exciting enough to me that I can go there whenever I want. But after the paperwork and a tour...I jumped up on the elliptical. My original goal was 20 minutes. However, the Zumba music had a nice beat and I just kept going. I reached 30 minutes and the song wasn't over so I just kept going. At 33 minutes the song was over, BUT if you know me well...you will know I can't stop on an odd number unless it were a multiple of 5. Even though 34 is an even number it would sound stupid to say "Hey, I'm cool...I was on the elliptical for 34 minutes last night." So I went to 35 for good measure. I plan to go back tomorrow and Wednesday in order to try and whip myself into shape before I meet Mike. I was alarmed when I got off of the machine and looked around. There are things hanging from the ceiling that people pull themselves up to and do chin ups...okay surely they have been working on that for a while. I don't see that happening ever, but I am going into this with a positive attitude...

A Reason and a Season

I've always wanted to have a blog just never had a reason. I'm about to start a new journey and thought my accountability would be raised if I made it public. I've tried every weight loss plan and gimmick out there. It's the same story you hear everywhere...I've lost, but ended up gaining more back in the end.

I've decided to make a drastic decision because my weight is in the way of everything. Yes, I've been told these feelings are irrational. Doesn't matter...they are still my feelings and they are my reality. Disgust is what I see when I look in the mirror. I can't imagine how others must view me.

When I think back I've been concerned about my weight since I was young. I remember two times in my life when I felt okay with myself. I don't think I had ever reached a goal weight, but was satisfied.

I've tried diets where you eat for one day and don't eat the next. Most recently, I ordered these HCG drops and dropped to 500 calories a day which made me so sick, weight didn't matter. 7 pounds down in 5 days. I'm not sure it was the 500 calories which created success as much as the colon cleansing if you get what I mean. I've joined Weight Watchers, but if you are only going to weigh in each week and not completely follow the program you don't see success.

Already by posting on FB about my trainer...which you will hear about in the next post...people are supporting and encouraging me. This helps. It is truly going to take a lot of emotional support to make this work. After all, I am an emotional eater. Oh and not just when I am sad or worried, but when I am happy, excited, hurried, frustrated, stressed, angry...I'll eat for any reason.