These comps I'm required to write and submit by August 31st are taking entirely too much of my time. I was hoping to increase the workout time at the gym. Well that hasn't happened. I did finish the first paper on Sunday night. This was after a month of kinda writing it and four days of my butt glued to the chair with my laptop. If one were to walk in they would think the absent minded professor had taken over. I have books and articles spread around me, my hair is in all sorts of disarray, and I'm talking to myself. Saturday night as I was going to bed I was in tears because I hadn't finished and I could barely stand another day with the paper. Yet, that's what happened on Sunday. I spent another day with the paper. I went to bed Sunday night after a brief happy dance around the house where the cats looked at me like I had lost my mind. So after another of my colleagues provides her edit and I make a few changes, the Connection Statement should be a thing of the past until I have to orally defend it, of course.
I have been making it to the gym. The problem lies in the process of writing. If you are a writer you know what I'm talking about. Once you get going, you can't just stop. It's not something you can pick up and work on here and there for an hour or so at a time. You need large blocks of time to devote in order to get the thought processes working. What I'm trying to say is, even though I'm working out...I'm not getting all of my food in. The other day I started feeling sick to my stomach (TRAINER, Please, please, please do not yell at me after you read this), I realized I hadn't eaten in six hours. Sometimes I think I just need someone here making my meals and serving them to me at the appropriate time, but I'm not a superstar so that's not going to happen.
Okay the really exciting thing about my going to the gym is my new relationship with the treadmill. I have now shaved four minutes off of my mile. REMEMBER when I started I couldn't run an entire mile without stopping and insisting that I was going toward the light. Now I can run a mile and each time I get on there it's a challenge to knock some time off. I am so competitive with myself. Several times this has ended up in me at a full sprint for the last three minutes in order to reach a new goal, but hey I'm not complaining. I think the biggest change has been in the way I approach this. I do the elliptical for 5-10 minutes and then I stretch. Now when I run I don't get the leg and back pain I was getting before. I realize some of you athletic people are saying..."DUH!" We all have to start somewhere and learn things in different ways. Usually when I'm experiencing pain, I will learn a technique to lessen the pain. My technique is ON FIRE right now. I'm loving it. The scales are going down slowly, but they are going down.
Let me share my other new form of exercise with you. I grew up in a family with a Grandpa who LOVED to garden. That man planted more green beans and tomatoes than one could fathom. I wish we had pics of his garden. Once the beans came on, every Sunday the whole family would go up there and pick green beans for hours while Grandma cooked our fried chicken dinner. After dinner we sat out in the yard (no matter how hot it was because there was no air and they had a lovely shaded backyard) and snapped the green beans. On Monday morning mom woke Sandy and I up early and it was back to Grandma and Grandpa's. The three of us together with the two of them would can green beans for hours in a hot kitchen. Later in the season came the canning of tomatoes. It was nothing to have 80 quarts of each by the end of the summer. Grandpa had lived through the depression and he didn't want his kids to ever go hungry. So we all had beans and tomatoes. I wish I had some of his beets. YUMMO! I didn't appreciate them then, but I do now.
One of the requirements I had when we bought a house was a yard big enough that I could put in a garden. Over the years the garden has grown. I'll post some pics. I picked a bushel of green beans this week and on Friday I'll be picking again and yes there are still more blooms. Looking at the amount of cherry tomatoes and cucumbers we have on the vines just makes me smile. My dad and I used to sit in our landlord's garden (he planted huge amounts just for the fun of it because his wife wouldn't let him bring any of it home) and eat the cherry tomatoes out of the garden until we were sick. I sent Dad a picture of my cherry tomato plants and told him I'm going to need him over here soon. The cucumbers are winding through the whole garden and the vines are loaded. The regular tomato plants aren't looking too bad either. And for the first year EVER, I have green peppers. Not on all of the plants. I'm trying to figure this out. Also, this asparagus has me baffled but I will figure it out.
Anyway, Trainer says that for each hour I'm in the garden I'm burning 200 calories. Please know the weeds are disappearing quickly. That's an easy way to burn off calories. I'm taking full advantage of the situation!
I do hope to start writing more frequently, at least back to the once a week that I was logging, but the comps and garden have been taking up a lot of free time.
Until next time...
I hope to get back in the habit of writing every week.
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Sunday, June 19, 2011
State of Mind
Celebrate Good Times Come On!!! Tonight I was at the gym early before my session with Trainer so I thought I would "warm up". I did five minutes on the elliptical and then some stretching. Thought I would give the treadmill a try. I did my quickest mile to date. I must say when I realized this was a possibility I cranked the treadmill up and was running pretty fast to come in at the time I wanted. My goal is to shave three minutes off of this by the end of the summer. It's going to require some intense mind over matter, self talking type therapy, but I can do this. It's a state of mind.
I took a week off from the gym. Do you know what an IT band is? I didn't until about six weeks ago. The iliotibial (IT) band is a tough group of fibers that run along the outside of your thigh. Your butt muscles attach to the top and it goes to just below the knee. Mine are really really tight. Because of this, I have low back pain, knee pain, groin pain, and hamstring pain. My massage therapist and chiropractor have been working on them to help loosen things up. My husband has been GREAT about helping me stretch every night. The left side has been far worse than the right side. In addition to stretching there has been lots of ice involved which isn't so bad in the summer.
Last Thursday I met with Trainer and I was in a funk. I'm aspiring to be a school principal. There have been very few jobs open this year. Two within driving distance to be exact. It came down to me and another candidate for one of the positions. I had three incredible interviews. One of those interviews was with eight people. I had them laughing in minutes. I know you are shocked. Anyway, right before my workout I found out I didn't get the job. I'm pretty tough and told myself this was "meant to be" and "God has a different plan". Now let me just tell you...in our workout history, there have been very few times...maybe only one or two to be exact...that I have refused to do what Trainer has told me to do. I have argued and whined, but I don't refuse. I figure he is the expert and if he tells me to do something I better figure it out. Thursday night I found myself refusing to do what he told me at the very beginning of the workout. He figured out a different plan which was very challenging. About half way through the workout I said, "I know why I never refuse to do what you tell me to. If I do, you make everything else way harder." According to him the jumping on and off a running treadmill is something I've done before. I have...I just don't remember doing it when the treadmill was going that fast. He wanted to know what was different and I started to cry and said "I felt like a loser when I walked in here tonight." I made a quick recovery and started jumping rope. I mean I can't have a complete break down on the poor guy. He puts up with enough from me. However, he was very compassionate and encouraging. He has counselor skills. I'm not kidding. My point in sharing this story is that I was not aware of how that defeat was going to affect my performance. I really thought I was okay. And it wasn't even that first thing I refused to do...the whole night I struggled with everything. Working out is not just about going through the motions...you have to have your head in the game. It's a state of mind.
(By the way...I do realize my time will come for administration and I'm really okay now. I just hadn't had time to process the initial disappointment before my workout.)
This summer has started off soooo busy. I'm teaching summer school which I LOVE. (My students know all about Trainer Mike because I have them during the school year and I've come in very sore a couple of times. After a night of doing squats and lunges, one shouldn't try and sit on the floor for a community circle and think one is going to get right back up without a grunt or a groan. Just sayin. I've also had them do math problems regarding my workouts. Now they ask me what I'm eating for lunch and want to know what I had for breakfast to make sure I'm on track. They are soooo cute!) I'm having a difficult time getting started on comps. However, I did get going this weekend. I just have to keep up the momentum. The deal is I've been struggling to get in a groove on anything. I've dreaded going to the gym which is unusual for me. I just can't find time to finish anything. Tonight my running success was just what I needed to get me wanting more. This was a place I needed to find...and now that I have...WATCH OUT!!! I'm in the state of mind.
I took a week off from the gym. Do you know what an IT band is? I didn't until about six weeks ago. The iliotibial (IT) band is a tough group of fibers that run along the outside of your thigh. Your butt muscles attach to the top and it goes to just below the knee. Mine are really really tight. Because of this, I have low back pain, knee pain, groin pain, and hamstring pain. My massage therapist and chiropractor have been working on them to help loosen things up. My husband has been GREAT about helping me stretch every night. The left side has been far worse than the right side. In addition to stretching there has been lots of ice involved which isn't so bad in the summer.
Last Thursday I met with Trainer and I was in a funk. I'm aspiring to be a school principal. There have been very few jobs open this year. Two within driving distance to be exact. It came down to me and another candidate for one of the positions. I had three incredible interviews. One of those interviews was with eight people. I had them laughing in minutes. I know you are shocked. Anyway, right before my workout I found out I didn't get the job. I'm pretty tough and told myself this was "meant to be" and "God has a different plan". Now let me just tell you...in our workout history, there have been very few times...maybe only one or two to be exact...that I have refused to do what Trainer has told me to do. I have argued and whined, but I don't refuse. I figure he is the expert and if he tells me to do something I better figure it out. Thursday night I found myself refusing to do what he told me at the very beginning of the workout. He figured out a different plan which was very challenging. About half way through the workout I said, "I know why I never refuse to do what you tell me to. If I do, you make everything else way harder." According to him the jumping on and off a running treadmill is something I've done before. I have...I just don't remember doing it when the treadmill was going that fast. He wanted to know what was different and I started to cry and said "I felt like a loser when I walked in here tonight." I made a quick recovery and started jumping rope. I mean I can't have a complete break down on the poor guy. He puts up with enough from me. However, he was very compassionate and encouraging. He has counselor skills. I'm not kidding. My point in sharing this story is that I was not aware of how that defeat was going to affect my performance. I really thought I was okay. And it wasn't even that first thing I refused to do...the whole night I struggled with everything. Working out is not just about going through the motions...you have to have your head in the game. It's a state of mind.
(By the way...I do realize my time will come for administration and I'm really okay now. I just hadn't had time to process the initial disappointment before my workout.)
This summer has started off soooo busy. I'm teaching summer school which I LOVE. (My students know all about Trainer Mike because I have them during the school year and I've come in very sore a couple of times. After a night of doing squats and lunges, one shouldn't try and sit on the floor for a community circle and think one is going to get right back up without a grunt or a groan. Just sayin. I've also had them do math problems regarding my workouts. Now they ask me what I'm eating for lunch and want to know what I had for breakfast to make sure I'm on track. They are soooo cute!) I'm having a difficult time getting started on comps. However, I did get going this weekend. I just have to keep up the momentum. The deal is I've been struggling to get in a groove on anything. I've dreaded going to the gym which is unusual for me. I just can't find time to finish anything. Tonight my running success was just what I needed to get me wanting more. This was a place I needed to find...and now that I have...WATCH OUT!!! I'm in the state of mind.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
It's the Real Deal
Have you ever felt so overwhelmed the only thing you wanted to do was cry? That's me this week. Not enough time to get everything finished I need to get finished or started. Comps are due August 31 and I haven't started. I haven't even met with my group the last two Wednesdays. Stephanie, if you are reading this you have to hold me accountable for this week. I have to get started on this. When I think about it I sorta freak out. I do not know where to begin. I can't even get organized to start.
I'm also trying to finish out one school year and start summer school. I had a complete crying break down in my office yesterday afternoon and just kept crying all night. I couldn't stop. It's not only that I am behind and can't get caught up. It's a situation with one of my students that has broken my heart. I want to snap my fingers and make it all better and I can't. Add to that a friend who lost her mind with me. She has taken on this attitude with me and others over the last few weeks. I've been trying to give her the benefit of the doubt, but yesterday she said some things about me that weren't true and she said them to a group of people. Sooo... Bunchy don't have time or patience for middle school drama. Movin on!!!
Tonight I almost started crying when working out with Trainer Mike. Partially because he made me run up that big hill 6 times and I thought I was going to puke and partially because I am so frustrated with the stupid scale. He says not to worry about it that we are focusing on inches. How can I not look at the number on the scale? He will ask my weight. I did get a nice and I mean very nice lecture on only getting on the scale every other Monday morning. The deal is the scales went up 4 pounds this week. Mike says it's salt and water. He said, "Not pooping can cause you to gain three pounds." He says not to be worried, but I said with tears in my eyes "I'm not going to make my goal for my birthday." Then I just left the gym. Guess I need to work harder. It always seems like I need to work harder. It never seems like I'm doing enough. Tears are coming again.
We started this new diet last week. Carbs were added back in. Very limited carbs. Wanna hear the ironic part? A couple of weeks ago when I was an emotional eater...now I'm so stressed I have to force myself to eat. WHY WHY WHY does eating have to be an everyday struggle for me??? I love the gym. It's my escape. A whole year with my trainer and I still struggle with eating. I need it to be not so difficult. I think it feels even more challenging right now because of everything else going on.
So last Sunday's workout left me sore for several days. I'm actually going for a visit with my massage therapist tomorrow. I went to my chiropractor earlier this week and she said, "What in the world have you done?" Me: "I do not have a clue." It's my low back, knee, and shoulder. I really can't wait to see Rita tomorrow. Most of the week I have been in pain and using ice.
Running the hill tonight reminded me how much workouts in nice weather can suck. I have to get better at the hill. I was mad because it was so hard for me. UGH! We followed running with lifting with some heavy weights. I nearly bit it with floor presses. Tonight was a night in the gym when I didn't feel like I could do anything right. Usually I walk away from a workout with Trainer feeling like I kicked it, but tonight I just didn't feel that way. I felt like I couldn't do anything right. Interesting...
I try to keep this blog real, but fun and positive. Tonight it was real. I do admit. I'm struggling. I can't pretend everything is okay when it's not.
I'm also trying to finish out one school year and start summer school. I had a complete crying break down in my office yesterday afternoon and just kept crying all night. I couldn't stop. It's not only that I am behind and can't get caught up. It's a situation with one of my students that has broken my heart. I want to snap my fingers and make it all better and I can't. Add to that a friend who lost her mind with me. She has taken on this attitude with me and others over the last few weeks. I've been trying to give her the benefit of the doubt, but yesterday she said some things about me that weren't true and she said them to a group of people. Sooo... Bunchy don't have time or patience for middle school drama. Movin on!!!
Tonight I almost started crying when working out with Trainer Mike. Partially because he made me run up that big hill 6 times and I thought I was going to puke and partially because I am so frustrated with the stupid scale. He says not to worry about it that we are focusing on inches. How can I not look at the number on the scale? He will ask my weight. I did get a nice and I mean very nice lecture on only getting on the scale every other Monday morning. The deal is the scales went up 4 pounds this week. Mike says it's salt and water. He said, "Not pooping can cause you to gain three pounds." He says not to be worried, but I said with tears in my eyes "I'm not going to make my goal for my birthday." Then I just left the gym. Guess I need to work harder. It always seems like I need to work harder. It never seems like I'm doing enough. Tears are coming again.
We started this new diet last week. Carbs were added back in. Very limited carbs. Wanna hear the ironic part? A couple of weeks ago when I was an emotional eater...now I'm so stressed I have to force myself to eat. WHY WHY WHY does eating have to be an everyday struggle for me??? I love the gym. It's my escape. A whole year with my trainer and I still struggle with eating. I need it to be not so difficult. I think it feels even more challenging right now because of everything else going on.
So last Sunday's workout left me sore for several days. I'm actually going for a visit with my massage therapist tomorrow. I went to my chiropractor earlier this week and she said, "What in the world have you done?" Me: "I do not have a clue." It's my low back, knee, and shoulder. I really can't wait to see Rita tomorrow. Most of the week I have been in pain and using ice.
Running the hill tonight reminded me how much workouts in nice weather can suck. I have to get better at the hill. I was mad because it was so hard for me. UGH! We followed running with lifting with some heavy weights. I nearly bit it with floor presses. Tonight was a night in the gym when I didn't feel like I could do anything right. Usually I walk away from a workout with Trainer feeling like I kicked it, but tonight I just didn't feel that way. I felt like I couldn't do anything right. Interesting...
I try to keep this blog real, but fun and positive. Tonight it was real. I do admit. I'm struggling. I can't pretend everything is okay when it's not.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Eat More Eggs Eat More Chicken Be More Sore
WOW! A lot has been going on in the past few days. I guess I'll start at the beginning. Four years ago I presented the idea to start a 5k for our district to our Education Foundation. With a small committee of two other people we started a tradition. This past Saturday was our fourth annual 5k. It takes a lot of planning, but is a great event. All of our walkers and runners came crossed the finish line in under and hour. Pretty good especially since this was our hilliest course.
Later on Saturday I went to a graduation party for the son of a very special friend. I remember going to the hospital the day this boy was born. He is now a graduate. It was great seeing friends and catching up a bit. I do have to say (and you all know how this is...eventually we have to talk about the food)those southwest chicken eggrolls....YUMMO! And the graduation cake??? DELISH!!! Don't worry I had talked in advance with trainer about this. It was approved.
Sunday was a hectic day. Running errands in the morning and then preparing for the graduation of a very special girl. In November of 1993 I became a nanny for Emily. She was six months old. When I took this job I thought it was just a job. I had no idea it would change my life. I stayed with the Emily until she was three and a half and I needed to decide what I was going to be when I grew up. However, I continued to have contact with Emily and her family. Emily and I went to the petting zoo and lunch, movies and lunch, the mall. I stayed with her when her parents took a rare opportunity to go out of town for a weekend. Even as she grew older and I figured she would want nothing more to do with me...we still spent time together. So imagine the emotion of going to graduation. I called her mom the night before and she had been crying as well. We both agreed we hadn't anticipated this emotion. Graduation was wonderful and emotional. I'm so proud of the person Emily has become. After some pics, Emily's mom, Ann gave me a hug and told me thanks. I can't even type this without crying. She said, "No I mean thanks for everything. She wouldn't be who she is had she not had you." Later, Emily's Dad, Dan reminded me that I am family. These people are such an important part of my life.
I returned home from graduation and an hour later the news hit that Joplin, Missouri had been hit by a tornado. The last I heard it was an F5. The latest death count was 122. I can't imagine what these people are going through, yet I can think of little else. Today we were expected to have a tornado outbreak over the Kansas City area. We did get a horrible thunderstorm around 1:00. And it's storming again. Tornado watch until 3:00 a.m. Now I'm sitting here typing in the dark while I have battery left.
Well...it's a day later...the power went out last night and I guess I don't have Internet in a power outage! A tornado outbreak did occur over Kansas City today with a touch down in Sedalia. We spent two hours in the bathroom as the sirens sounded. It was draining, but I have to say I am happy that I was with kids. I hope I helped them feel safe. It was unnerving. Trying to remain calm, imagining pics you've seen recently in the news, and hearing the sirens over head.
Tonight I had a conversation with a friend who is a police officer in Ozark. They have been sending crews to Joplin. I had no words. I feel like a failure little bit. He wasn't himself. He kept saying "Tammy it's the worst thing I've ever seen. You aren't seeing everything on the news. You can't imagine." I wish I would have known what to say. It feels hopeless. As he said, "Right now there is no light at the end of the tunnel for them." Very disheartening.
Let's talk about yesterday's workout and the pain I am still feeling. Trainer Mike started the workout different than we've ever started before. We started with crunches, rolled over into pushups, jumped into frog hoppers, lept into a sprint and finished with jumping jacks. We repeated this three times. Then there were some declined bench presses. I was lying upside down and had to bench press. Once I assured myself that I was not going to fall off the bench and onto my head it was all good. We also did some work with the leg press where I could never go as low as Trainer Mike wanted me to. He kept saying lower, lower, lower and I was trying I really was, but seriously. So then we did dead lifts in a slightly different manner. I stood on a bench with the weights in my hands and bent over to touch the floor with the weights. Trainer says this is a good exercise for girls and their rears. Two days later and my rear is still sore so evidently he is right on. As he had me grab the weights for floor presses and I was getting into position he said, "You are the only one of my clients that will do these." This caused me to chuckle and nearly knock myself in the head with the weight. I said, "Why am I the only one?" "They just tell me they aren't doing it. And it's one of my favorite exercises." I never knew it was an option to tell him no. I think I've only done that twice, but mostly I just do what he says cause he's the boss. For our last exercise of the evening Trainer picked up a 50 pound barbell and told me to follow him. We went to the end of the gym and he offered to help put the barbell on my neck. This is when I realized my trainer is brave. I always talk about how scary he is, but he put that on my neck and walked right beside me as I lunged down and back twice. Then he took it off of my neck. I told him it was brave based on my stability issues. He chuckled and said I'm no longer a baby ninja. Or a baby panda if you have watched that movie which I have not. Anyway, his point was that I am not skilled by any means, but I have made progress.
We had quite the discussion of my level of soreness and Trainer thinks I should be more sore. When you are sore it means the muscles are growing. So we increased my chicken and eggs the day of my workout with Trainer. There is some sort of acid in these two foods that is supposed to do something to the muscle fibers so that I will be sore and they will be growing. Moving on people...movin on...I have a weight loss goal to reach by the 40th birthday which is rapidly approaching. No time for cheating. No time for slacking. Got to hit it hard every day. No mercy!
Later on Saturday I went to a graduation party for the son of a very special friend. I remember going to the hospital the day this boy was born. He is now a graduate. It was great seeing friends and catching up a bit. I do have to say (and you all know how this is...eventually we have to talk about the food)those southwest chicken eggrolls....YUMMO! And the graduation cake??? DELISH!!! Don't worry I had talked in advance with trainer about this. It was approved.
Sunday was a hectic day. Running errands in the morning and then preparing for the graduation of a very special girl. In November of 1993 I became a nanny for Emily. She was six months old. When I took this job I thought it was just a job. I had no idea it would change my life. I stayed with the Emily until she was three and a half and I needed to decide what I was going to be when I grew up. However, I continued to have contact with Emily and her family. Emily and I went to the petting zoo and lunch, movies and lunch, the mall. I stayed with her when her parents took a rare opportunity to go out of town for a weekend. Even as she grew older and I figured she would want nothing more to do with me...we still spent time together. So imagine the emotion of going to graduation. I called her mom the night before and she had been crying as well. We both agreed we hadn't anticipated this emotion. Graduation was wonderful and emotional. I'm so proud of the person Emily has become. After some pics, Emily's mom, Ann gave me a hug and told me thanks. I can't even type this without crying. She said, "No I mean thanks for everything. She wouldn't be who she is had she not had you." Later, Emily's Dad, Dan reminded me that I am family. These people are such an important part of my life.
I returned home from graduation and an hour later the news hit that Joplin, Missouri had been hit by a tornado. The last I heard it was an F5. The latest death count was 122. I can't imagine what these people are going through, yet I can think of little else. Today we were expected to have a tornado outbreak over the Kansas City area. We did get a horrible thunderstorm around 1:00. And it's storming again. Tornado watch until 3:00 a.m. Now I'm sitting here typing in the dark while I have battery left.
Well...it's a day later...the power went out last night and I guess I don't have Internet in a power outage! A tornado outbreak did occur over Kansas City today with a touch down in Sedalia. We spent two hours in the bathroom as the sirens sounded. It was draining, but I have to say I am happy that I was with kids. I hope I helped them feel safe. It was unnerving. Trying to remain calm, imagining pics you've seen recently in the news, and hearing the sirens over head.
Tonight I had a conversation with a friend who is a police officer in Ozark. They have been sending crews to Joplin. I had no words. I feel like a failure little bit. He wasn't himself. He kept saying "Tammy it's the worst thing I've ever seen. You aren't seeing everything on the news. You can't imagine." I wish I would have known what to say. It feels hopeless. As he said, "Right now there is no light at the end of the tunnel for them." Very disheartening.
Let's talk about yesterday's workout and the pain I am still feeling. Trainer Mike started the workout different than we've ever started before. We started with crunches, rolled over into pushups, jumped into frog hoppers, lept into a sprint and finished with jumping jacks. We repeated this three times. Then there were some declined bench presses. I was lying upside down and had to bench press. Once I assured myself that I was not going to fall off the bench and onto my head it was all good. We also did some work with the leg press where I could never go as low as Trainer Mike wanted me to. He kept saying lower, lower, lower and I was trying I really was, but seriously. So then we did dead lifts in a slightly different manner. I stood on a bench with the weights in my hands and bent over to touch the floor with the weights. Trainer says this is a good exercise for girls and their rears. Two days later and my rear is still sore so evidently he is right on. As he had me grab the weights for floor presses and I was getting into position he said, "You are the only one of my clients that will do these." This caused me to chuckle and nearly knock myself in the head with the weight. I said, "Why am I the only one?" "They just tell me they aren't doing it. And it's one of my favorite exercises." I never knew it was an option to tell him no. I think I've only done that twice, but mostly I just do what he says cause he's the boss. For our last exercise of the evening Trainer picked up a 50 pound barbell and told me to follow him. We went to the end of the gym and he offered to help put the barbell on my neck. This is when I realized my trainer is brave. I always talk about how scary he is, but he put that on my neck and walked right beside me as I lunged down and back twice. Then he took it off of my neck. I told him it was brave based on my stability issues. He chuckled and said I'm no longer a baby ninja. Or a baby panda if you have watched that movie which I have not. Anyway, his point was that I am not skilled by any means, but I have made progress.
We had quite the discussion of my level of soreness and Trainer thinks I should be more sore. When you are sore it means the muscles are growing. So we increased my chicken and eggs the day of my workout with Trainer. There is some sort of acid in these two foods that is supposed to do something to the muscle fibers so that I will be sore and they will be growing. Moving on people...movin on...I have a weight loss goal to reach by the 40th birthday which is rapidly approaching. No time for cheating. No time for slacking. Got to hit it hard every day. No mercy!
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Bunchy On Fire
It's the end of the school year. Tomorrow should be our last day. Due to the many snow days we had this year, we are going 6 and a half days in addition to tomorrow. Add to this the fact that my school is being added onto and remodeled. That construction crew has their own deadlines. They are behind because of the snow. They have completed the addition and are moving inside. Interior walls are being torn down, technology has been removed from classsrooms, teachers are having to be even more creative than normal, and kids are curious. I have decided as the counselor who is often called to put out fires, running shoes are the footwear for the rest of the year. I have no idea how many times I walked up and down the halls today. There were some pretty interesting circumstances to deal with. Sometimes it's a little stressful to remain calm on the outside with a smile for the kids. As I was running through the course of the day, I had fleeting thoughts of...I don't want to workout tonight!!! But there I went for my meeting with Trainer Mike.
Imagine my alarm when he said "You're going to be on the treadmill for the whole hour." You all know how I feel about running. Invoked by stress? Determination? I don't know, but I hit the treadmill and I didn't complain one time. We did intervals of the treadmill and weight lifting. I could have lasted longer. Seriously!!! I finished my workout with 5 sets of lunging down the gym and back with a sprint down and back. Please know, this might not seem like a big deal to you, but a couple of months ago...I couldn't do this without stopping and a lot of whining. I'm very proud of myself. During our end of workout discussion, Trainer Mike said "It's miraculous how far I've come and he can't wait to see what we can do this year." I am sooooo pumped and excited. I mean really excited. Tonight was a huge deal for me. I was tired, I was stressed, I was still sore from Tuesday's workout, I was a little scared and I did it and it felt great. Wow!
Imagine my alarm when he said "You're going to be on the treadmill for the whole hour." You all know how I feel about running. Invoked by stress? Determination? I don't know, but I hit the treadmill and I didn't complain one time. We did intervals of the treadmill and weight lifting. I could have lasted longer. Seriously!!! I finished my workout with 5 sets of lunging down the gym and back with a sprint down and back. Please know, this might not seem like a big deal to you, but a couple of months ago...I couldn't do this without stopping and a lot of whining. I'm very proud of myself. During our end of workout discussion, Trainer Mike said "It's miraculous how far I've come and he can't wait to see what we can do this year." I am sooooo pumped and excited. I mean really excited. Tonight was a huge deal for me. I was tired, I was stressed, I was still sore from Tuesday's workout, I was a little scared and I did it and it felt great. Wow!
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Muscle Mayhem May 2011
After working out with trainer Mike for a little over a year I finally got to see him in action tonight. AMAZING! I'm impressed. He won!!! He has been dieting and working out so hard. I am so proud of him. I had tears of joy and pride when they called his number. Way to go Mike. It's great to be able to know that I'm working out with one of the best!!!
It was really incredible to be in a place with so many dedicated athletes. The bodies on stage were unbelievable. Women and men. While I have no desire to compete in that way, it certainly inspires me to hit things even harder. If people can get their bodies to look like that then I have no excuses.
With that, let me tell you about a little incident that occured yesterday. I had someone say some things to me that were downright rude. The statements were an attack on my integrity. I am so angry about it. It must have been pretty obvious that I was angry because she then gave an insincere attempt at playing it off as a joke. Duh...you're talking to the counselor who reads body language and other non verbals such as facial expressions. That is not what a joking face looks like. I share this because obviously it's still eating at me and as a result, I've been an emotional eater today. I haven't eaten a lot because I spent the day doing yard work, but the choices I did make were not good for me. I wonder if it will always be this easy to fall off the wagon? This thought in and of itself makes me angry. I shouldn't be falling off the wagon for reasons such as this. So now I am mad at myself. UGH!
I've been emotional today overall. I had a nice little cry on the phone with my mom. My friend, Emily is graduating next week and turning 18 two weeks later. When Emily was six months old God blessed me with the opportunity to become part of her family as a nanny. When I started the job that's what I thought it was...a job. I was soooo wrong. It was a life changing experience. It was within a few weeks that this little girl had my heart. I remained her nanny until she was three and a half. To this day, she and I are very close as are her parents and I. I started working on her graduation present last night and was a sobbing mess. I tried to talk to my mom about it today and was sobbing again. Now I'm writing about it and sobbing again. WOW!
Are you ready for a funny? Last Saturday night Mike and I were working out. We had done some cardio in the parking lot courtesy of the beautiful weather and had moved inside to do some HIT with heavier weight than I had done before. Enter a 50 pound bar bell on my neck while I lunge across the gym and back. Drop that and move to bench presses. Don't get too comfortable because now it's time for deadlifts with a 60 pound dumb bell in each hand. Mike kept telling me I was overthinking the amount of weight and messing myself up. I kept telling him it was too heavy. Nevertheless, on the third round of this cirquit I went to pick those dumbbells up and the plate part came to rest on my wrist. Those of you who know me, understand that this was a Tammy moment most would need to see to believe. Those of you who don't know me, please understand I am a clutz. Even I wish I had a video of this happening so I could replay it for myself and for every person who has said to me "How? Do? You? Even? Do? That? With? A? Dumbbell? On? Your? Wrist?" It's me!!!! That's all I know. After it landed there I was mad. I bent over and picked those puppies up and Mike said it was my best deadlift ever. I completed the night with 200 crunches and a nice bruise. Made it through Mother's Day and it was about 3:00 the next morning that my wrist started hurting so bad, I became concerned. It was swollen and ugly. Well the doctor hadn't had his good Monday morning laugh yet. He certainly had it during my visit as I tried to explain it to him. Then there was the xray tech. No breaks. Just a bad bruise. I even managed to do a workout with Mike on Tuesday...pushups and all. It's still ugly, but I'm good.
Alright readers...no more emotional eating tomorrow...I promise you!
It was really incredible to be in a place with so many dedicated athletes. The bodies on stage were unbelievable. Women and men. While I have no desire to compete in that way, it certainly inspires me to hit things even harder. If people can get their bodies to look like that then I have no excuses.
With that, let me tell you about a little incident that occured yesterday. I had someone say some things to me that were downright rude. The statements were an attack on my integrity. I am so angry about it. It must have been pretty obvious that I was angry because she then gave an insincere attempt at playing it off as a joke. Duh...you're talking to the counselor who reads body language and other non verbals such as facial expressions. That is not what a joking face looks like. I share this because obviously it's still eating at me and as a result, I've been an emotional eater today. I haven't eaten a lot because I spent the day doing yard work, but the choices I did make were not good for me. I wonder if it will always be this easy to fall off the wagon? This thought in and of itself makes me angry. I shouldn't be falling off the wagon for reasons such as this. So now I am mad at myself. UGH!
I've been emotional today overall. I had a nice little cry on the phone with my mom. My friend, Emily is graduating next week and turning 18 two weeks later. When Emily was six months old God blessed me with the opportunity to become part of her family as a nanny. When I started the job that's what I thought it was...a job. I was soooo wrong. It was a life changing experience. It was within a few weeks that this little girl had my heart. I remained her nanny until she was three and a half. To this day, she and I are very close as are her parents and I. I started working on her graduation present last night and was a sobbing mess. I tried to talk to my mom about it today and was sobbing again. Now I'm writing about it and sobbing again. WOW!
Are you ready for a funny? Last Saturday night Mike and I were working out. We had done some cardio in the parking lot courtesy of the beautiful weather and had moved inside to do some HIT with heavier weight than I had done before. Enter a 50 pound bar bell on my neck while I lunge across the gym and back. Drop that and move to bench presses. Don't get too comfortable because now it's time for deadlifts with a 60 pound dumb bell in each hand. Mike kept telling me I was overthinking the amount of weight and messing myself up. I kept telling him it was too heavy. Nevertheless, on the third round of this cirquit I went to pick those dumbbells up and the plate part came to rest on my wrist. Those of you who know me, understand that this was a Tammy moment most would need to see to believe. Those of you who don't know me, please understand I am a clutz. Even I wish I had a video of this happening so I could replay it for myself and for every person who has said to me "How? Do? You? Even? Do? That? With? A? Dumbbell? On? Your? Wrist?" It's me!!!! That's all I know. After it landed there I was mad. I bent over and picked those puppies up and Mike said it was my best deadlift ever. I completed the night with 200 crunches and a nice bruise. Made it through Mother's Day and it was about 3:00 the next morning that my wrist started hurting so bad, I became concerned. It was swollen and ugly. Well the doctor hadn't had his good Monday morning laugh yet. He certainly had it during my visit as I tried to explain it to him. Then there was the xray tech. No breaks. Just a bad bruise. I even managed to do a workout with Mike on Tuesday...pushups and all. It's still ugly, but I'm good.
Alright readers...no more emotional eating tomorrow...I promise you!
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
4 Day Marathon
Since I was sick and missed a couple of sessions my incredible trainer offered to make the sessions up. Saturday was strength training because I was worried about my lungs, Sunday was cardio, Monday was strength, and Tuesday was cardio again. Please do not be deceived...even when we do strength there is cardio involved. I start out running in some fashion to warm up. Today I have been so sore I could barely move. The cure? Go for a run and work it out. Whoever thought I would EVER consider doing that? NOT I!!!
Let me talk about an after shock of being on steroids for two weeks...
I was on straight Prednisone, a ZPac (as the first antibiotic), a steroid inhaler, and a few other things...I gained 6 pounds and I wasn't eating. Last Friday morning I start going to the bathroom like every 20 minutes. This continues throughout the day. I don't have time to go to the bathroom that many times in a day. If I could have bought some Depends I think I would have tried it. By Saturday morning I was down 4 pounds. Steroids continued to exit my body through Saturday evening. It became downright annoying, but there aren't many choices except to go with it...literally! It is a celebration that I have lost all of that weight and a couple more!
My first workout I was terrified. I felt sick to my stomach. It was like I was going to meet Mike for the first time. That feeling didn't last long. Within minutes I was running sprints again. Relief flooded through me when my lungs didn't burn and the chest pain I had experienced at our last workout didn't return. Should that ever happen again I will let Trainer know and cease immediately!
My second strength workout this week, Mike labelled a prison workout. We did the types of things prisoners do in the yard. It's how they can get so buff while serving time and works well for people who have limited time. Those squat presses...OUCH! I did get frustrated during the workout. The form on my pushups wasn't right and I was corrected. PLEASE know...the reason I pay Mike is to push me AND to teach me the right way to do things. However, it is hard for me to accept when I'm not doing it right sometimes. Especially, when it involves an exercise such as push ups where I have had to do so many. I was mad at myself.
I'm kind of in a funk right now with working out because it's been a year...
It's been a year of hard work. I've accomplished more than I ever imagined and I'm addicted. I LOVE being in the gym. I am so proud of the results. Yet, there's a long way to go and I know that. There is a lot more hard work ahead of me. Actually the work before me is harder than anything I've done so far. So now I'm starting to feel scared. I'm a counselor and I'm not sure I understand where this is coming from. Part of me suspects it's the number on the scale. Still, in my mind success is not measured by how many sprints I run, how much weight I lift, the fact that my lunges are deeper, or the fact that I can do so much that I never thought possible before. For me, success is still tied to the number on the scale.
Once again, I would like to publically thank my Trainer for pushing me and not giving up on me. A HUGE thank you for putting up with me for four days in a row and not quitting. It was really awesome to have that opportunity. A great way to get back on track.
Let me talk about an after shock of being on steroids for two weeks...
I was on straight Prednisone, a ZPac (as the first antibiotic), a steroid inhaler, and a few other things...I gained 6 pounds and I wasn't eating. Last Friday morning I start going to the bathroom like every 20 minutes. This continues throughout the day. I don't have time to go to the bathroom that many times in a day. If I could have bought some Depends I think I would have tried it. By Saturday morning I was down 4 pounds. Steroids continued to exit my body through Saturday evening. It became downright annoying, but there aren't many choices except to go with it...literally! It is a celebration that I have lost all of that weight and a couple more!
My first workout I was terrified. I felt sick to my stomach. It was like I was going to meet Mike for the first time. That feeling didn't last long. Within minutes I was running sprints again. Relief flooded through me when my lungs didn't burn and the chest pain I had experienced at our last workout didn't return. Should that ever happen again I will let Trainer know and cease immediately!
My second strength workout this week, Mike labelled a prison workout. We did the types of things prisoners do in the yard. It's how they can get so buff while serving time and works well for people who have limited time. Those squat presses...OUCH! I did get frustrated during the workout. The form on my pushups wasn't right and I was corrected. PLEASE know...the reason I pay Mike is to push me AND to teach me the right way to do things. However, it is hard for me to accept when I'm not doing it right sometimes. Especially, when it involves an exercise such as push ups where I have had to do so many. I was mad at myself.
I'm kind of in a funk right now with working out because it's been a year...
It's been a year of hard work. I've accomplished more than I ever imagined and I'm addicted. I LOVE being in the gym. I am so proud of the results. Yet, there's a long way to go and I know that. There is a lot more hard work ahead of me. Actually the work before me is harder than anything I've done so far. So now I'm starting to feel scared. I'm a counselor and I'm not sure I understand where this is coming from. Part of me suspects it's the number on the scale. Still, in my mind success is not measured by how many sprints I run, how much weight I lift, the fact that my lunges are deeper, or the fact that I can do so much that I never thought possible before. For me, success is still tied to the number on the scale.
Once again, I would like to publically thank my Trainer for pushing me and not giving up on me. A HUGE thank you for putting up with me for four days in a row and not quitting. It was really awesome to have that opportunity. A great way to get back on track.
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