A little bit more stress was added to our plates this week. Dave's Grandma was diagnosed with colon cancer. Surgery was performed today. The surgeon removed a mass the size of his fist. He is confident he got everything. After test results come back from pathology, we will know what the next step is. In the mean time, she will be in the hospital for another week.
I have continued to work out every day this week. Toward the end of the day I find myself ready to go to the gym. Yesterday, a winter storm reared it's ugly, white head on KC. A mix of sleet and rain through most of the day and then it turned to snow. I mean a lot of snow! i drove to the gym for my 6:30 meeting with Mike. As I was driving I thought, "Probably not my best plan." Needless to say the gym was pretty empty. Gave me plenty of room to start out with those sprints and pushups. 150pushups to start. More were incorporated throughout the workout. Along with some pull ups. Isn't that interesting considering we were working legs? Things that make you go hmmmm....
Now the drive home should have burned a ton more calories...I couldn't see where I was going it was snowing so hard. To be quite honest, I was a little scared. I realized how people get lost in the snow. There was not a travelled path on the highway. I couldn't even see the highway.
Tonight our workout started with me running a mile. Not a flat mile either. Trainer decided to increase the incline. That SUX!!!! Let me share with you a snippet of conversation that occurred during tonight's arm and shoulder workout...
(Me lying on the bench with weights raised above my head and bending them at a 90 degree angle over my face)
Mike: Faster (as he snaps his fingers)
Me: I'm trying
Mike: Lower
Me: It burns
Mike: What's that face you're making?
LOL!!! I do make some crazy faces. I am TERRIFIED of hurting my shoulder again. I woke up this morning and it was sore. I was worried that because of our workout last night the pain was starting again. Mike assures me I need to work through it.
Mike told me that he and my husband have been talking and they have big things planned for me this year. (This conversation occurred last night.) So I've had all day to think things like, "What are the two of them dreaming up?" Tonight I asked for clarification. Let's just say I think I'm going to be working harder than ever in preparation of the big 40. That's good though. I want to be pushed. I feel like Mike was really pushing me tonight. Especially when he ended my workout by making me run sprints with 150 pushups. And when I was ready to quit he gave me the half glass full speech. For those of you who don't know my husband, he is an eternal optimist. He is always a glass half full kind of guy. This works out very nicely most of the time. As long as he realizes sometimes I need reassurance and gentle nugding to get to the half full. I am half full most of the time. I do have my moments of feeling overwhelmed and stressed. Anyway, tonight when I was struggling with the thought of running sprints (5 sprints, 50 pushups, 4 sprints, 40 pushups, 3 sprints, 30 pushups, 2 sprints, 20 pushups, 1 sprint, 10 pushups)Mike said, "You need to have more of your husband's attitude." I must have given a perplexed look. He said, "You know, glass half full. Right now you're the glass half empty." To which I replied, "My husband isn't in here running sprints right now." And off I went...my legs were stiff and it was a bit painful, but I did it. On about the third sprint, at the end. Mike thought it was my attempt at River Dancing. It was totally not what I meant to do. I LOVE River Dancing, but I am not coordinated enough to even try it. I've seen River Dance at the theater before, but I think my most favorite River Dancing EVER was what Kate Winslet and Leonardo DeCaprio did in one of my most FAVORITE movies ever...TITANIC!!! ;)
And with that friends, I've had my protein drink, my dinner, and my shower...and I'm now headed for my after workout sleep which is usually the best sleep!
Friday, February 25, 2011
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Stressed??? Little bit...
I've been working out every day. Feeling much better. I'm still very stressed. I have a lot on my plate at work. I'm in the last semester of course work for my doctorate. The due dates are overwhelming. I can't keep up. Add to that the fact that my Grandpa isn't doing well at all. His cancer is spreading and we think he has the first signs of dementia. Here's what you need to know...I think my Grandpa is pretty much the most amazing Christian I have ever known. He has taught me soooo much. I often think I want to be more like him when I grow up. You never want to see a loved one suffer with cancer. Grandpa has lost his wife and his son in the past two years. He has handled both losses with grace beyond comprehension. I am worried about him and the journey he has ahead. I'm praying the suffering will not be harsh.
During high stress times it's hard for me to stay focused on eating right. I am quick to grab easy foods or comfort foods. It really requires a lot of intention for me to eat the right things. Working out is easy for me to stay focused on because it makes me feel so much better. Our neighbors did invite us to Sonic for ice cream Sunday night. I went. While my husband and Bob and Shirley ordered their sweet treats I ordered an ice water. I didn't feel like blowing all of the working out I had been doing. It's not always easy for me to make those decisions though. I wish I was one of those people that didn't like to eat when I was stressed. That rarely happens.
Tonight on Biggest Loser, Jillian was sipping on a coffee during a last chance workout. She told the contestants she didn't care if they puked as a matter of fact she might like it she was just getting her caffeine on. I must tell you I have experienced moments like this at the gym. My trainer has come in sipping coffee. He has told me it's his goal to make me puke. For sure several times I thought he was going to reach that goal.
This past Sunday was a nice day, but really windy. All day long I was thinking that I was going to be running sprints or lunges in the parking lot. I didn't give any thought to the hill until Trainer Mike and I stood at the base. I can't say I ran up the hill three times that wouldn't be accurate. See the hill is so steep that you almost become horizontal with it as you are going up. Even though I'm trying to run up the hill it's not really running, but it does indeed get your heart rate right up there. And after that there were the sprints. Of course the sprints were followed by lots of work inside the gym that left me nice and sore. I am being slightly sarcastic, but the soreness I get as a result of a Mike workout is nice. As bad as it hurts, it is a GREAT feeling. It hurts so good.
Just one more Biggest Loser funny...tonight Bob introduced this exercise called the scorpion twist. It starts out as a push up and then you kick one leg behind you, flip over on your back, lift the opposite leg and touch that foot with the opposing hand. It was just me and the cats here...I gave it a shot...I fell...gave it another try...fell again...and then it became personal...after five attempts I conquered it. I'm certainly thankful there wasn't a video camera in the living room.
Anyway, I'm trudging along in this beating the bulge journey. I want the scales to go down faster...UGH!!! No matter what I say to them they just won't listen!
During high stress times it's hard for me to stay focused on eating right. I am quick to grab easy foods or comfort foods. It really requires a lot of intention for me to eat the right things. Working out is easy for me to stay focused on because it makes me feel so much better. Our neighbors did invite us to Sonic for ice cream Sunday night. I went. While my husband and Bob and Shirley ordered their sweet treats I ordered an ice water. I didn't feel like blowing all of the working out I had been doing. It's not always easy for me to make those decisions though. I wish I was one of those people that didn't like to eat when I was stressed. That rarely happens.
Tonight on Biggest Loser, Jillian was sipping on a coffee during a last chance workout. She told the contestants she didn't care if they puked as a matter of fact she might like it she was just getting her caffeine on. I must tell you I have experienced moments like this at the gym. My trainer has come in sipping coffee. He has told me it's his goal to make me puke. For sure several times I thought he was going to reach that goal.
This past Sunday was a nice day, but really windy. All day long I was thinking that I was going to be running sprints or lunges in the parking lot. I didn't give any thought to the hill until Trainer Mike and I stood at the base. I can't say I ran up the hill three times that wouldn't be accurate. See the hill is so steep that you almost become horizontal with it as you are going up. Even though I'm trying to run up the hill it's not really running, but it does indeed get your heart rate right up there. And after that there were the sprints. Of course the sprints were followed by lots of work inside the gym that left me nice and sore. I am being slightly sarcastic, but the soreness I get as a result of a Mike workout is nice. As bad as it hurts, it is a GREAT feeling. It hurts so good.
Just one more Biggest Loser funny...tonight Bob introduced this exercise called the scorpion twist. It starts out as a push up and then you kick one leg behind you, flip over on your back, lift the opposite leg and touch that foot with the opposing hand. It was just me and the cats here...I gave it a shot...I fell...gave it another try...fell again...and then it became personal...after five attempts I conquered it. I'm certainly thankful there wasn't a video camera in the living room.
Anyway, I'm trudging along in this beating the bulge journey. I want the scales to go down faster...UGH!!! No matter what I say to them they just won't listen!
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Sprinting in the Parking Lot in February
A GORGEOUS Day today. 75 degrees in February. WOOT HOOT! Just a few days ago we had snow on the ground. Two weeks ago it was a blizzard. One week ago it was dangerously freezing temperatures. All day long I was excited about my workout with Mike. We've had some problems with schedules and it has been two weeks since we worked out. I met my goal for the past two weeks and have made it to the gym every day with the exception of the day I had class. I'm soooo proud of this. I have felt a lot better.
Now as I looked forward to the workout with Trainer Mike, I had a couple of fleeting thoughts..."It's really nice out. We could do parking lot lunges." Followed by "I'm not meeting him until 6:00 it will be dark there is no way we will go into the parking lot."
Trainer Mike arrived and I wanted to hug him I was so excited to get an intense workout in. He gave me a smile and said let's do a mile on the treadmill. I gave him a look. I did my mile. UGH! We followed that by kettle ball farmer walks, kettle ball dead lifts, and push ups, and lunges. And then he said, "Come on we're going outside." I said, "But it's dark." He just gave me that look. I ran three parking lot sprints. With my trainer yelling me on with terms like "Faster, faster, come on, that looks great. There was also a component of him directing me to not get hit by a car in the lot, but I'm alive and well. Aside from the fact that I thought I might pass out, all of the sprinting in the gym this winter paid off. I did much better than I did last year. AND I LOVED IT!!! It was a great feeling to get that air into my lunges. I can't wait for the weather to change so we can do this consistently.
So goals are being met. I've been extremely stressed recently and going to the gym has been so therapeutic. Also I needed to get back into the routine with Mike and get my butt kicked. He did it in full force. Loved every minute of it. I get to workout with Mike again on Sunday. Just Bring it!
Now as I looked forward to the workout with Trainer Mike, I had a couple of fleeting thoughts..."It's really nice out. We could do parking lot lunges." Followed by "I'm not meeting him until 6:00 it will be dark there is no way we will go into the parking lot."
Trainer Mike arrived and I wanted to hug him I was so excited to get an intense workout in. He gave me a smile and said let's do a mile on the treadmill. I gave him a look. I did my mile. UGH! We followed that by kettle ball farmer walks, kettle ball dead lifts, and push ups, and lunges. And then he said, "Come on we're going outside." I said, "But it's dark." He just gave me that look. I ran three parking lot sprints. With my trainer yelling me on with terms like "Faster, faster, come on, that looks great. There was also a component of him directing me to not get hit by a car in the lot, but I'm alive and well. Aside from the fact that I thought I might pass out, all of the sprinting in the gym this winter paid off. I did much better than I did last year. AND I LOVED IT!!! It was a great feeling to get that air into my lunges. I can't wait for the weather to change so we can do this consistently.
So goals are being met. I've been extremely stressed recently and going to the gym has been so therapeutic. Also I needed to get back into the routine with Mike and get my butt kicked. He did it in full force. Loved every minute of it. I get to workout with Mike again on Sunday. Just Bring it!
Thursday, February 10, 2011
I Know My Limitations
The other night at the gym I had an experience. I posted about it on FB. I have some humorous friends...one in particular could be a stand up comedian. I just feel that I have to put this on my blog in order to save this experience. I am a clutz for those of you who don't know me well. Just today I slipped in the hall at school and ended up in the splits. A student said, "Mrs. Bunch, you are really good at the splits." I told him thank you, but inside I thought "I didn't mean to do the splits. Good think I've been working out." If you were to have a conversation with my mom about the injuries I have sustained over the years she just starts laughing. There are too many to remember them all. And they are so random...flipping head first over your bicycle, cutting your hand and requiring five stitches because of a coke bottle that was sitting on a shelf, falling while attempting to roller skate and knocking yourself out, falling down a flight of stairs and spraining your ankle bad enough it has to be in a cast...I could go on and on and on...there are some things I just know I shouldn't try. I think it is a sign of strength to be able to admit your limitations.
My Post:Tonight at the gym on the Elliptical watching the Food Network. The show was The Best Thing I Ever Ate...CAKE!!! Torture! The guy next to me on the treadmill was running at a level 10. He disappeared from my view. I glanced over because I thought maybe he fell off. He was running backward on the thing. Now that's talent and something I will never try! Cause you know what would happen to me...
Stephanie Bingman Kice: Frankly, I am surprised you didn't fall just looking over at him.
Lauren Sullivan-Stoner: HAHAHAHA That made me snort!
Dan Stewart: Keep your eyes straight forward Stoner.
Stephanie Bingman Kice: I think it is dangerous for you watch TV while you are on the elliptical. There are too many moving parts....
Lauren Sullivan-Stoner: LOL
Dan Stewart: Tonight on Emergency 911...It was a calm evening at the gym until this young lady decided it was time to turn her head to the left...watch on this video...as she keeps trying to pull her left foot from the eliptical while her other leg has wrapped around her neck...somehow her big toe is stuck in ther mouth. Took 2 paramedics to pull her foot out and 2 more to run CPR on the other people in the gym who had laughed themselves into cardiac arrest.
Stephanie Bingman Kice: ...longtime friends report that they knew it was only a matter of time before this ticking time bomb went off.
Linda Green Cottingham: Dan, you are a riot!
Dan Stewart: One witness said "well you could tell somthing bad was going to happen when she walked in. She stubbed her toe on the door threashold then hit her head on the military press when she tied her shoe. Lke a huricane that was predicted days in advance you can just see somethings coming."
Josie Stiles: Oh my goodness that wouldn't end well for me!!!!!!!!
Tammy Stone Bunch: Laughing so hard I'm crying is an understatement. I had to call my mom and read this to her, but then I was laughing even harder because of how hard she was laughing. I think I just burned more calories because of this post than I have in the last two nights at the gym! As my mom said, "It's so nice that your friends know you so well." Love you guys...really needed this tonight.
Larry Bunch: The sad thing is....its all true
Stephanie Bingman Kice: We love you too!!!!
Stephanie Brown DeClue: Dan, that was too funny - and scary accurate!
This commentary only provides support to my thinking that I shall never ever try to run backward on a treadmill! These dear friends know me too well.
My Post:Tonight at the gym on the Elliptical watching the Food Network. The show was The Best Thing I Ever Ate...CAKE!!! Torture! The guy next to me on the treadmill was running at a level 10. He disappeared from my view. I glanced over because I thought maybe he fell off. He was running backward on the thing. Now that's talent and something I will never try! Cause you know what would happen to me...
Stephanie Bingman Kice: Frankly, I am surprised you didn't fall just looking over at him.
Lauren Sullivan-Stoner: HAHAHAHA That made me snort!
Dan Stewart: Keep your eyes straight forward Stoner.
Stephanie Bingman Kice: I think it is dangerous for you watch TV while you are on the elliptical. There are too many moving parts....
Lauren Sullivan-Stoner: LOL
Dan Stewart: Tonight on Emergency 911...It was a calm evening at the gym until this young lady decided it was time to turn her head to the left...watch on this video...as she keeps trying to pull her left foot from the eliptical while her other leg has wrapped around her neck...somehow her big toe is stuck in ther mouth. Took 2 paramedics to pull her foot out and 2 more to run CPR on the other people in the gym who had laughed themselves into cardiac arrest.
Stephanie Bingman Kice: ...longtime friends report that they knew it was only a matter of time before this ticking time bomb went off.
Linda Green Cottingham: Dan, you are a riot!
Dan Stewart: One witness said "well you could tell somthing bad was going to happen when she walked in. She stubbed her toe on the door threashold then hit her head on the military press when she tied her shoe. Lke a huricane that was predicted days in advance you can just see somethings coming."
Josie Stiles: Oh my goodness that wouldn't end well for me!!!!!!!!
Tammy Stone Bunch: Laughing so hard I'm crying is an understatement. I had to call my mom and read this to her, but then I was laughing even harder because of how hard she was laughing. I think I just burned more calories because of this post than I have in the last two nights at the gym! As my mom said, "It's so nice that your friends know you so well." Love you guys...really needed this tonight.
Larry Bunch: The sad thing is....its all true
Stephanie Bingman Kice: We love you too!!!!
Stephanie Brown DeClue: Dan, that was too funny - and scary accurate!
This commentary only provides support to my thinking that I shall never ever try to run backward on a treadmill! These dear friends know me too well.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
The Massage Therapist and the Workout Following
I went to a new massage therapist this past Friday afternoon. For purposes of confidence, we will call her R. I could hardly contain myself all day because I just knew she would cure my shoulder and neck pain. Even though she told me I have issues and I'll be seeing her again in two weeks, I do have some relief. I have not had to use the ice pack the last two nights to go to sleep.
I filled out a lengthy intake form which prompted R to go over some general nutrition things with me. Take for instance her thoughts about artificial sweetners...even though I have a can of diet pepsi like every two days if that...R let me know the horrible, frightening, scary effects. UGH! Glad I'm not addicted to the stuff. We also talked about the importance of drinking water. I used to only drink water back in the day. I still do drink quite a bit of water, but not enough. R has encouraged me to forgo a little iced tea and drink half of my body weight in ounces of water each day. She's all about me having my iced tea. These past two days I've followed this recommendation. Main change: frequency of trips to the bathroom. I know you're shocked right? Anyway, this increased water consumption is supposed to help my neck, shoulder, and lower back pain as well.
R told me the effects of us working together would be cummulative as my body needs to get used to her touch and she needs to get to know my body. This massage was different than any I have experienced before. My past massages I have been passive in a tranquil room with aromatherapy, soft music, and quiet. R told me that I would not be passive in this massage. That's not how she operates. So while the room was a tranquil bedroom in her home, it was not exactly relaxing. There was stretching involved where I had to push against her. She also told me everything she felt. There was never a moment of quiet. She used her whole body to try and work the knots out of me. At the end of our session, she told me there is so much more she needs to do, but since I am new to this she didn't want to be too rough on the first day.
Today was the first day I met with Trainer Mike since the massage. He asked about the massage and I gave him the highlights. One thing R discovered was that my hamstrings are really tight. She thinks part of this is because I sit on my tailbone and not on my sitbones. (She had a lot to say about posture.) Trainer Mike took what she said seriously and we did some deadlifts with me standing on a bench and bending to pick up the weight. Tonight, my legs are on fire. The front of my legs are really strong, but both Mike and R agree I need to do some stuff to build up the hamstrings. In case you aren't aware, I know I wasn't, low back pain could mean your hamstrings need to be stretched. While I was hoping for an easier method than deadlifts, I'll do what Mike says in order to get rid of the pain.
R didn't feel anything besides knots and a lot of tightness in my neck and shoulders. She pushed on this spot on my side under my arm and said, "Oh honey, I'm sorry I know it hurts really bad right there." I hadn't said a word. Yet she could tell. Mike decided we needed to see how my shoulders were so he incorporated quite a few pushups in today's workout. I did okay. Shoulders aren't killing me yet so I think I'm okay.
I had a minor meltdown yesterday. Several things going on. I'm up to my eyeballs in doctorate work. It's a writing process. I've been working soooo much this past week and there isn't a finished product. There are milestone projects due this semester, but for the most part it's write, write, write and then write some more. We had three more snow days this week and then I was out at a wonderful training on Friday. All of this has put me behind at work which overwhelms me. Due to shoulder pain and everything else I have been a total slack on my workouts. Total catch 22. Shoulder hurts so you don't workout/don't workout lose energy and don't feel well. Seriously, my energy level has been down and I just don't feel right.
Today Mike and I had a great workout. He told someone at the beginning that he was ready to kick my butt. I kinda feel like he did. It was soooooo what I needed. While I thought I couldn't lunge or sprint one more time it was an incredible feeling. Now in order to be more on my game next week when we meet I have to get myself to the gym every day this week. My only day off is the day I have class. I have to keep telling myself that I owe it to me. Sometimes this is really difficult for me as I try to balance so many other things.
I'm also the type of person that is all or nothing. Let me explain how this plays out in my working out. If it's time to go to the gym and I don't feel like I can give it 200%, I will opt not to go. This has been especially true this month with the shoulder and neck problem. I have to kick my butt into gear. I'm going to let today's workout catapult me back into my routine. In exactly 199 days my birthday will be here. I have 57 pounds to lose by then! There is ABSOLUTELY NO time to spare! Even though the week ahead is FULL and then some, I will go to the gym. Gotta make it happen. No excuses!
I filled out a lengthy intake form which prompted R to go over some general nutrition things with me. Take for instance her thoughts about artificial sweetners...even though I have a can of diet pepsi like every two days if that...R let me know the horrible, frightening, scary effects. UGH! Glad I'm not addicted to the stuff. We also talked about the importance of drinking water. I used to only drink water back in the day. I still do drink quite a bit of water, but not enough. R has encouraged me to forgo a little iced tea and drink half of my body weight in ounces of water each day. She's all about me having my iced tea. These past two days I've followed this recommendation. Main change: frequency of trips to the bathroom. I know you're shocked right? Anyway, this increased water consumption is supposed to help my neck, shoulder, and lower back pain as well.
R told me the effects of us working together would be cummulative as my body needs to get used to her touch and she needs to get to know my body. This massage was different than any I have experienced before. My past massages I have been passive in a tranquil room with aromatherapy, soft music, and quiet. R told me that I would not be passive in this massage. That's not how she operates. So while the room was a tranquil bedroom in her home, it was not exactly relaxing. There was stretching involved where I had to push against her. She also told me everything she felt. There was never a moment of quiet. She used her whole body to try and work the knots out of me. At the end of our session, she told me there is so much more she needs to do, but since I am new to this she didn't want to be too rough on the first day.
Today was the first day I met with Trainer Mike since the massage. He asked about the massage and I gave him the highlights. One thing R discovered was that my hamstrings are really tight. She thinks part of this is because I sit on my tailbone and not on my sitbones. (She had a lot to say about posture.) Trainer Mike took what she said seriously and we did some deadlifts with me standing on a bench and bending to pick up the weight. Tonight, my legs are on fire. The front of my legs are really strong, but both Mike and R agree I need to do some stuff to build up the hamstrings. In case you aren't aware, I know I wasn't, low back pain could mean your hamstrings need to be stretched. While I was hoping for an easier method than deadlifts, I'll do what Mike says in order to get rid of the pain.
R didn't feel anything besides knots and a lot of tightness in my neck and shoulders. She pushed on this spot on my side under my arm and said, "Oh honey, I'm sorry I know it hurts really bad right there." I hadn't said a word. Yet she could tell. Mike decided we needed to see how my shoulders were so he incorporated quite a few pushups in today's workout. I did okay. Shoulders aren't killing me yet so I think I'm okay.
I had a minor meltdown yesterday. Several things going on. I'm up to my eyeballs in doctorate work. It's a writing process. I've been working soooo much this past week and there isn't a finished product. There are milestone projects due this semester, but for the most part it's write, write, write and then write some more. We had three more snow days this week and then I was out at a wonderful training on Friday. All of this has put me behind at work which overwhelms me. Due to shoulder pain and everything else I have been a total slack on my workouts. Total catch 22. Shoulder hurts so you don't workout/don't workout lose energy and don't feel well. Seriously, my energy level has been down and I just don't feel right.
Today Mike and I had a great workout. He told someone at the beginning that he was ready to kick my butt. I kinda feel like he did. It was soooooo what I needed. While I thought I couldn't lunge or sprint one more time it was an incredible feeling. Now in order to be more on my game next week when we meet I have to get myself to the gym every day this week. My only day off is the day I have class. I have to keep telling myself that I owe it to me. Sometimes this is really difficult for me as I try to balance so many other things.
I'm also the type of person that is all or nothing. Let me explain how this plays out in my working out. If it's time to go to the gym and I don't feel like I can give it 200%, I will opt not to go. This has been especially true this month with the shoulder and neck problem. I have to kick my butt into gear. I'm going to let today's workout catapult me back into my routine. In exactly 199 days my birthday will be here. I have 57 pounds to lose by then! There is ABSOLUTELY NO time to spare! Even though the week ahead is FULL and then some, I will go to the gym. Gotta make it happen. No excuses!
Thursday, February 3, 2011
So Over This!!!
Well readers I'm going to vent a bit...
First on my mind is something that I am trying not to dwell on. As I write this, I do not want it to sound oh whoas me because that is not the point. Five years ago my grandpa was diagnosed with prostate cancer. He didn't consider surgery because he was taking care of grandma. He took a very expensive pill for a while. Shortly after grandma died the cancer spread to his hip. He underwent radiation which took care of that problem, but had to go on a very expensive monthly chemo pill. This kept his PSA levels in the normal range which are below 5. In December he went for a checkup and the PSA levels were .03. When Sandy and I took him out for his birthday around Christmas he was singing praises to God for curing the cancer. He has started not feeling well. Two weeks ago he had another blood test which showed a PSA level of 40. The doctor said that one of the tests was wrong and told him he needed another test in two weeks. This past Monday he went for the blood test. The doctor called yesterday and the PSA count is up to 45.7. The doctor says the December test was read wrong and this is a rapid growing cancer. Grandpa and my dad will be going to the doctor next week to discuss options. They don't know if the cancer is in other spots or not. If you have ever had the opportunity to meet my Grandpa you know he is about one of the finest men alive. His faith is unending. His outlook on life is unbelievable. He truly takes each day as a gift. While I'm mad about this for many reasons, he isn't angry. The level of concern for me is high on many levels. If he were to choose to have chemo it is going to be so hard on him, I hate to see the effects. If he doesn't have the chemo the cancer is growing so fast...and I can't even finish that sentence. I'm not one to question why things happen. But really people...the end of December 08 we lost Grandma, March of 09 my uncle was diagnosed with terminal lung and brain cancer, during that time Grandpa was also dealing with cancer, July of 2010 my uncle passed from the cancer. We spent the fall cleaning out Grandpa's place to get him somewhere safer and closer to my mom and dad and my aunt. We still don't have him moved there because of a run around with the place he is moving to. He has now given mom the authority to take over the case and I feel bad for the people that she is going to be in contact with. It's not going to be pretty for them since they have blown Grandpa off since November by either saying "we will have you moved in in two weeks, your apartment isn't ready yet", or just not returning his calls at all. A very large concern in all of this is my dad. None of this is fair, but truly I worry about how much he can take. This is unending incredible stress.
It's February here in Missouri and we have had one full week of school since December 13. Lots of snow days. I feel like a slug. I have not been making it to the gym because of being snowed in and my shoulder pain which will not cease. I have been to the dr and given stronger muscle relaxers. Every night I go to sleep packed in ice. (Truly not comfortable with negative temperatures) I wake up the next morning and the pain is still there. It is like someone has a knife in my shoulder. Everything is tight and the pain goes up the side of my neck. Trainer Mike's schedule has changed and he has had several family responsibilities so we have not been meeting regularly at all. It is so depressing for me. I haven't been working out and I haven't been eating healthy at all.
I think I will handle the stress of my life better when I get back to working out regularly. Mike and I are meeting Saturday and hopefully we will get back into our routine. I need it bad. I am also going to a new massage therapist tomorrow afternoon. She and I had a long talk about my problem and former injuries. She is pretty optimistic she can fix me up. She has come highly recommended by another friend so I hope this works.
In addition to stress about Grandpa, I have the stress of my doctorate program. This is the semester where we are writing the prospectus and proposal for our dissertation as well as starting the first three chapters. I have done homework for the past three days. I do not have a finished product which is hard for me. Yet, you have to do the reading and writing. It's a research process. I have to keep reminding myself it's a process with a product that will be finished in a couple of years. UGH! We do have some milestone assignments do this semester which are propelling us in the dissertation direction. I am still enjoying the journey. I am learning so much.
Another item of stress is my job. Don't get me wrong, it's nice to have your employer call and say don't come in to work today because of the roads. These last three days have been a gift for dissertation work. Yet, I am missing my students. I am worried about my students. And for every day we are out it takes two to three to catch it up.
Life will feel better when I get back into the gym and make that my priority. When Trainer Mike starts to kick it up a notch, I will feel like I'm making progress again. So Readers...I'm over this being a slug...I'm ready to get back to it. And I mean get back to it HARD!!!
First on my mind is something that I am trying not to dwell on. As I write this, I do not want it to sound oh whoas me because that is not the point. Five years ago my grandpa was diagnosed with prostate cancer. He didn't consider surgery because he was taking care of grandma. He took a very expensive pill for a while. Shortly after grandma died the cancer spread to his hip. He underwent radiation which took care of that problem, but had to go on a very expensive monthly chemo pill. This kept his PSA levels in the normal range which are below 5. In December he went for a checkup and the PSA levels were .03. When Sandy and I took him out for his birthday around Christmas he was singing praises to God for curing the cancer. He has started not feeling well. Two weeks ago he had another blood test which showed a PSA level of 40. The doctor said that one of the tests was wrong and told him he needed another test in two weeks. This past Monday he went for the blood test. The doctor called yesterday and the PSA count is up to 45.7. The doctor says the December test was read wrong and this is a rapid growing cancer. Grandpa and my dad will be going to the doctor next week to discuss options. They don't know if the cancer is in other spots or not. If you have ever had the opportunity to meet my Grandpa you know he is about one of the finest men alive. His faith is unending. His outlook on life is unbelievable. He truly takes each day as a gift. While I'm mad about this for many reasons, he isn't angry. The level of concern for me is high on many levels. If he were to choose to have chemo it is going to be so hard on him, I hate to see the effects. If he doesn't have the chemo the cancer is growing so fast...and I can't even finish that sentence. I'm not one to question why things happen. But really people...the end of December 08 we lost Grandma, March of 09 my uncle was diagnosed with terminal lung and brain cancer, during that time Grandpa was also dealing with cancer, July of 2010 my uncle passed from the cancer. We spent the fall cleaning out Grandpa's place to get him somewhere safer and closer to my mom and dad and my aunt. We still don't have him moved there because of a run around with the place he is moving to. He has now given mom the authority to take over the case and I feel bad for the people that she is going to be in contact with. It's not going to be pretty for them since they have blown Grandpa off since November by either saying "we will have you moved in in two weeks, your apartment isn't ready yet", or just not returning his calls at all. A very large concern in all of this is my dad. None of this is fair, but truly I worry about how much he can take. This is unending incredible stress.
It's February here in Missouri and we have had one full week of school since December 13. Lots of snow days. I feel like a slug. I have not been making it to the gym because of being snowed in and my shoulder pain which will not cease. I have been to the dr and given stronger muscle relaxers. Every night I go to sleep packed in ice. (Truly not comfortable with negative temperatures) I wake up the next morning and the pain is still there. It is like someone has a knife in my shoulder. Everything is tight and the pain goes up the side of my neck. Trainer Mike's schedule has changed and he has had several family responsibilities so we have not been meeting regularly at all. It is so depressing for me. I haven't been working out and I haven't been eating healthy at all.
I think I will handle the stress of my life better when I get back to working out regularly. Mike and I are meeting Saturday and hopefully we will get back into our routine. I need it bad. I am also going to a new massage therapist tomorrow afternoon. She and I had a long talk about my problem and former injuries. She is pretty optimistic she can fix me up. She has come highly recommended by another friend so I hope this works.
In addition to stress about Grandpa, I have the stress of my doctorate program. This is the semester where we are writing the prospectus and proposal for our dissertation as well as starting the first three chapters. I have done homework for the past three days. I do not have a finished product which is hard for me. Yet, you have to do the reading and writing. It's a research process. I have to keep reminding myself it's a process with a product that will be finished in a couple of years. UGH! We do have some milestone assignments do this semester which are propelling us in the dissertation direction. I am still enjoying the journey. I am learning so much.
Another item of stress is my job. Don't get me wrong, it's nice to have your employer call and say don't come in to work today because of the roads. These last three days have been a gift for dissertation work. Yet, I am missing my students. I am worried about my students. And for every day we are out it takes two to three to catch it up.
Life will feel better when I get back into the gym and make that my priority. When Trainer Mike starts to kick it up a notch, I will feel like I'm making progress again. So Readers...I'm over this being a slug...I'm ready to get back to it. And I mean get back to it HARD!!!
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