Head For The Cure

When my uncle passed away in July, it was a combination of brain and lung cancer. My mom found a 5k to do with my sister and I in Homer's honor. We had shirts made with a fine pic of Homer on the back and a caption that says In Memory of Homer Stone 1950-2010. My dad came to the walk to take pics. Hopefully, he will be able to walk with us next year. His back would not allow him to do so this time. Mom has gout in her foot and had been lecturing Sandy and I that if we needed to walk off and leave her to do so because she didn't want to hold us up. Sandy and I spent the first two miles looking at the back of mom's shirt...she was truckin...on the last mile she slowed down a bit. It was a great time. Large turnout with over 250,000 dollars made for brain cancer research.

I came back home, picked up a grocery store list, did the grocery shopping, unloaded the groceries and then went to meet Michael at the gym. We had a rather intense workout. Which you all know I LOVE. I'm not being sarcastic. The more challenging and the more sweat involved the better for me. There were a couple of things that were really hard for me involving squats and holding weights on my back, but friends I just imagined all of the horrible, ugly things that parent said to me for 45 minutes on Friday and I pushed through most of my exercises with few problems. It's not good that I'm still angry about the Friday situation, but it was bad. Speaking of that...on Friday night I jumped on the elliptical and kept my heart rate at 172 for thirty mintues. I was really mad then. Now I'm a little anxious about going back. I'm worried about what her next plan of action might be. ENOUGH OF THAT!

Anyway, I had a great workout at the gym today because Michael couldn't have cared less that I had already completed a 5k. In the past when I've done a 5k I would come home take a nap, eat whatever I wanted and glory in the fact that I had completed a 5k. That was the old Tammy. The new and improved Tammy realizes that walking a 5k is FANTASTIC, but there is still much more to do.

Tomorrow I am going to be on Michael's diet with him for the next six weeks. It looks a little boring, but I'm going to give it a shot and see what happens. I'm ready for the new challenge in the get fit journey. Besides that he made some snide comment on my FB wall about the diet not being for the faint hearted or something...and I was like...he didn't just say that...no way...cause...now it's on! And I say I'm not a competitive person! HA! Not competitive with others...could care less about them, but I am competitive with me and when someone says something about you might not be able to handle this...then I'll nearly kill myself trying! So chicken, egg whites, protein, oatmeal, broccoli, and asaparagus here I come. GET READY!

I'm trying to add pics from the 5k but having difficulty...you'll see them sooner or later...hang tight...

Note To Self

Dear Tammy,
I know you are a little worried about being in the last year of your thirties. You have so much you want to accomplish and so much you want to do. You have already started on one of the most challenging journey's of your life, overcoming the weight. So I do promise you that in a year you will be able to say you are Fit, Fine, and Forty! Dr. Seuss sums up what you are learning about weight loss and fitness best...“I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind. Some come from ahead and some come from behind. But I've bought a big bat. I'm all ready you see. Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!”
Yours Truly

Yep, a promise I made to myself this week is that I will be Fit, Fine, and Forty! In one year I will still be working out, I will still be focusing on what I eat, but I will have conquered it.

I'm still on a high from my workout tonight. I was dreading it all day. I didn't eat well at all yesterday because it was my day. Already this is an improvement because in the past it has been my birthday month with a heavy emphasis on the week of my birthday and extra attention given to celebrating on the day. This week I just splurged on the day and I was soooo sick when I went to bed last night that I was swearing off cake forever. I had a secret hope that Michael was joking when he posted on FB that we would do a push up for each year of my life times three. Didn't take me long to figure out that was 117. We did them first off. What a birthday present. But let me take that right back. It was a great birthday present to me because I did it! And as we added yet more push ups throughout the workout I did those too. We were over 150 when I lost count. I think it was pushing 200, but like I said I lost count. I was focusing very hard on not puking.

Michael is sending me a food list and I'm going on his diet with him for the last six weeks of his training. I don't think I've mentioned that he is getting ready for a competition. The guy is crazy dedicated. He is in the gym twice a day just for his workouts not to mention those of us he comes to train. I'm scared about this diet, but I'm excited too. Michael has completely transformed himself this summer. It's been really inspiring to see someone work with such dedication and committment. I'm excited to see the physical effects of the diet, but also interested in the mental challenge it will pose. I did have to be upfront about the fish part. Tammy don't do fish. ICK! Anyway, readers I'm sure you'll be reading more about my change in eating habits very soon.

On another note...(I do have a lot to say tonight!)...feeling a little anxious about starting back to class and keeping up the pace of working out. When I started this in May my class was finished. This summer I had class and wasn't working. Now I have class, work which has changed a lot this year because of my new responsibilities, and I need to workout. Here's the deal...I would rather be working out than doing any of the other stuff. I really would. I just have to adjust to the new normal. Might be learning to have less sleep. I just feel so much better when I work out and I can tell if I skip a day. I get irritable and have less stamina.

Yesterday I went to visit my chiropractor. I said, "Had a little incident a couple of weeks ago?" He said as he already started giggling (my stories tend to have this effect on people) "something go wrong in the gym?" Me now laughing replied, "I tried to hurdle a chair and I failed." He had to have every detail so he could totally laugh and then say, "Tammy, you never stopped to think that might be a bad idea?" Duh..if I had thought I wouldn't have done it. Anyway, he adjusted my foot. He said I did a great job of jamming my big toe. It felt better today than it has in a while, but when trying to run up the hill outside of the gym it hurt. Michael had mercy and only made me lunge. The deal is...I want to run. I never ever in a million years thought I would say this, but I miss the challenge. I'm going to have to ease back into it starting very soon I think...AND HELLO!!! The 5k I'm supposed to be running with my sister is October flippin 9th!!! That's SOON!!! I have to go from 0-3.1 miles in about six weeks. Scary Stuff!

On a final note to self which is a modified quote from one of my dear high school friends...
Dear Tammy,
You've met you right? You know you're a clutz right? You should try harder to avoid self induced accidents.
Yours Truly

AAAAWWWW!!! Little Motivator...

I went into a third grade classroom today to teach my first lesson of the year. Arranged all of the students in a circle on the floor, had just drawn a breath to speak when I noticed little Logan bouncing up and down with his hand in the air. As any educator would be, I was fully prepared to tell him he could go to the bathroom. "Yes, Logan, what do you need?" "All I can say is WHOA! That trainer must have made you work hard this summer. You look beautiful." With a tear in my eye I replied, "Oooohhh! How nice of you to notice." Another little guy said, "Your trainer didn't let you take a summer vacation?" "Nope! Michael doesn't believe in summer vacation." Anyway, this little kid has me wrapped now. I mean seriously!

I am motivated by words of affirmation. It is my love language. I haven't read the book, only skimmed it, but it's true. Give me a compliment and I will soar. I will work harder and go the extra mile. I will think about the compliment and remember it for years to come. It doesn't matter if the compliment comes from an eight year old, senior citizen or anyone in between, it's a natural high for me in situations which are otherwise challenging or stressful.

I don't think I've written yet...and if I have you can read it again I guess. As of two weeks ago, I was down 16.5 inches. WOOT HOOT! Unbelievable. I put on a skirt this week that was a little snug last spring. It has a zipper down the side. Who needs a zipper? I pulled it up without any unzipping. The only thing holding that thing on was some inches around the hips. I wore it and prayed I wouldn't get into a situation where a student would pull on it and say, "TEACHER!" If that had happened we wouldn't have been singing pants on the ground...we'd have sung skirt on the ground, skirt on the ground...

While I'm in the mood to blog let me just share another little sumpin...
Tonight at the gym another trainer took her client out to the parking lot where they were running laps together. It's a little hot out for that sort of thing if you ask me, but no one asked me. There is this GINORMOUS hill between the gym and the car lot next door. Several times Michael has mentioned he needed to get permission to use the hill so we could lunge it. I should have understood he was not kidding. Tonight this trainer had her person out there climbing the hill. I prayed, "Dear God, please please don't let Michael drive by and see this." Later, in a text message I found out Michael had seen it and official permission for use of the hill exists. In case you don't know this about me, I tend to be very smart aleck. As a matter of fact, my smart aleck nature has increased recently. It's a natural thing that I don't even think about. Yep, you know why I'm explaining this...because AFTER Michael told me we had permission to use the hill and he had seen the exercises being done I made a VERY smart aleck comment to him. VERY! I'm sore already just thinkin about it.

The Intimidator

I can't promise this will be the only time I write about being intimidated cuz lots of things intimidate this girl. Tonight I was at the gym and did cardio for thirty minutes trying to forget the stress of this day. Okay maybe this week. Let me digress from the workout for a moment and fill you in on my stressors.

I'm a school counselor. Last year I had 7 students lose a parent from five different families. It was draining. Additionally, we had several families with students who lost grandparents. I was also aware that my uncle could die at any time. He did die this summer. Last Friday a dad with five kids died of a brain anyeurism. He was a stay at home dad and volunteered at our school all of the time. No matter how hard I try to build a barrier between me and my feelings regarding death it is looming. It drains me emotionally and then I become stressed. Okay...moving back to the workout...

Finished my thirty minutes on the elliptical, ticked off the whole time because I need to be running on the treadmill, but my foot isn't quite there yet. EEEERRRR! Oh the stupidity of being Tammy. Anyway, as I was wiping the elliptical down I caught a glimpse of this woman I had never seen before. I had to do some self talk "Tammy, it would be rude if you stare." So I went to do abs and put myself in a position where I was looking at her. The only words I know to use for this woman are that she is built. And the men in the gym knew it too. Never once has someone offered to help me when I am using free weights. These men were all about making sure she had what she needed.

I'm referring to this hard body woman as an intimidator because she is to me. I would not set foot over in the free weights because she was over there. I've been making progress, but now in my head it isn't enough progress because I don't look like her. As a matter of fact she was probably thinking...honey, you've got a long way to go. The counselor in me realizes this is probably not rational thinking, but I can't help it. I've always been intimidated by women who have their fitness groove on and attract every male eye within a 50 mile radius.

I guess it gives me more motivation to work harder. Michael and I haven't met since Saturday morning and I wasn't on my A game because of my foot. Don't think for a second he didn't challenge me...he doesn't know how not to challenge me. But because I couldn't give it my all I feel like it wasn't a real workout. That combined with the death of the parent at our school and starting a new job have me feeling grouchy and irritable. I can't shake it. I want to be at the gym now because I never feel like I do enough.

You've Got The Look

Several times my trainer has said he would like to video tape my facial expressions during a workout. I try not to look at myself in the mirror, but according to him I say a lot with just expression. Monday was my first day back at work and I scheduled a 9:00 p.m. session. This is normally when I curl up in bed with the t.v., at least one cat, and a book. I was tired. However, in case you haven't figured it out, I'm dedicated to this journey. Trainer Michael had been on a road trip during the day and had plenty of time to plot out the session. It should not have surprised me that he decided to add himself to the weights I was lifting for a little extra nor should I have been surprised when he decided to have me do this exercise on a machine that is not on the diagram for how to use the machine. There were others working out and this guy said, "You're gonna kill her." Michael had some smart aleck reply about...that not happening. Even when I said I was dying he said, "You're not purple. You're fine." And when I kept getting the position wrong we used the analogy of skiing. I said, "Oh like when I'm skiing on my Wii." Here was the reply, "You should ONLY ski on the Wii. You should NEVER EVER go skiing for real. You will die. You can't even zipline! How do you expect to ski?" "Well it looks fun." "Just don't do it. You shouldn't be on skis." In less than 15 hours from this conversation I had an incident that Michael didn't warn me about. I'll get to that in a few. After we did this skiing squat exercise we went to work my legs. I couldn't see my face, but I could feel the contortions I was making with my face as I was trying to accomplish these quad exercises. They hurt bad. There was intense burning involved. When we moved to the hamstrings the pain was worse. Finally, we finished and I was released to go get a drink of water. One guy says to Michael something to the effect of that was a look of hate...that look meant she hated you. Like Michael cares if I hate him or not??? It just made me feel good that these guys in the gym realized what I was being put through and were having sympathy for me. It was a challenging workout for sure. And if I haven't explained this yet...whatever Michael tells me to do...I'm going to do or at least try really really hard. He is the guru. He could tell me to climb on the roof of the building, jump off, and lunge the parking lot and repeat and I would do it because he said to. I feel that what he says in our sessions is non negotiable and it's working. It's working because I'm down in pounds and inches, 16.5 inches to be exact. This is motivating to me and it makes me want more...badly! I am driven to lose more.

Alright...fast forward to 13 hours after my work out and my lecture about not skiing. I'm sitting at an inservice. I'm in the back row of an auditorium. The seats are like movie theater seats. The speaker gives us 10 minutes to discuss as a group what he has been talking with us about. I think this is a perfect time to go to the bathroom and I don't want to ask everyone to move so I can scoot down the aisle which was pretty narrow. Amy said, "As much as you've been working out...you can totally hurdle that chair." So I hurdled which went well getting the left leg on the platform behind us. It was the right foot that slid down the crack of the chair, hit the concrete floor while the chair closed on my leg. I turned to look behind me to see my whole staff laughing. Some were laughing way harder than others and I was laughing too until Amy tried to push on the seat of the chair which compressed my foot. So our wonderful music teacher came around to what was now the front of me and pulled me out while someone behind me gently opened the chair. Both feet felt weird with no significant pain. The left toe lost a chip out of the nail which irritated me because of my pedicure. I came back from the bathroom and thought all was well. We left and went to lunch and when we were there I looked at my right toe to notice the intense bruising and increasing pain.

I came hobbling into the house and said to my husband...I had a little incident today..."Did you hurt your back?" "No look at this." as I put my foot in front of him. "Wow! That's broken." I called my mom and she was laughing so hard she was crying. I posted on FB and people from childhood, people from my previous employer, and people from where I currently work all said similar things..."Tammy, you've met you right? Why would you think it would be okay to hurdle a chair?" Of course this is all on the heels of my trainer talking about my clutzy tendencies. We had also had this conversation with friends of ours in Ozark last week. And over the weekend we had the conversation with friends from high school who talked about the fact that I own my own set of crutches. We didn't talk about the walking boot, three air casts, and other braces that I own, but still you get the picture. No one is surprised by this accident. Someone even said thank you for such a humorous post. Today has been okay as long as I don't put any pressure on that part of my foot. I have to step on the outside. Even under my toe is swollen. Needless to say I didn't go to the gym last night. I was so ticked off at myself that I put myself to bed at 6:45 and rented Dear John. I drooled over Channing Tatum and became so angry at the way the movie ended...I read the book and didn't remember the ending. EEEERRR!!! So it did little to calm me down. I have spent today hobbling around and trying not to be too noticable about it because I was with the entire district today and I didn't want to have to explain what stupid act precipitated this injury. So just so you've got at least this look I'm inserting a picture of the angry toe/foot.

Super Size Me

Returned today from six days in the Ozarks. Nothin like a little southern fried comfort food for the soul. Said to my husband as we were planning...I can't leave until I workout with Michael. I know we usually get on the road earlier, but I can't miss a workout. He was very understanding and I did indeed get a workout in. Of course it was intense. Lots of squatting. My legs hurt bad. It didn't help that we then rode in the car for three hours. I was stretching every which way. The next day we were in the car for thirteen hours. My legs didn't quit hurting until Tuesday which was three days later. Those squats must be some kind of wonderful. Mind you we were in the car for all of those hours, but we never left the state of Missouri. We ended our thirteen hours at Lamberts. Holy Cow!!! I ate soooo much. Seriously...if you wait an hour and a half and people are throwing food at you...who can't eat intensely? One splurge meal wouldn't have been bad, but it went south quickly...the next morning for breakfast and every morning after we had Dunkin donuts. There was more fried chicken, McDonald's, Taco Bell, ice cream...and not one...no not one workout session. We didn't even go on a hike. There was no exercise. It was eat, sit, sleep, repeat for six days.

I watched the movie Super Size Me a couple of years ago and I can totally relate to how that guy felt. I feel like a slug. I feel like I'm sweating grease. I feel guilty and irritable. Truly irritable. I ran into my trainer tonight and he asked me how bad I ate and I told him really bad. REALLY REALLY BAD!!! I can't wait to hit the gym tomorrow. As a matter of fact I might hit it more than once. I have another training session on Saturday and I can't wait. I want to get back on track. I feel icky. Who knew that one week could make such a difference in how I feel? WHAT WAS I THINKING???