Manic Monday

I've never been one to dread Mondays. As a matter of fact, I usually embrace them. You know...fresh starts, new beginnings? Today by about noon I was ready to fast forward to Tuesday. Monday had hit me, kicked me while I was down, assaulted me, laughed at me, called me names...it could always be worse. I try so hard to keep that in mind. When we are at our rock bottom and think it could get no worse, it could. It could always be worse. Just when you think you've heard the hardest most sad story ever, you hear one that tops it. I just don't allow myself to wallow in self pity. Okay I've digressed. At the end of the day a meeting was cancelled. I thought today would be a rest day from the gym because of scheduling issues. A cancelled meeting was just what I needed. I dashed home and changed into my workout clothes. I arrived at the gym and started running. I needed a stress relief in a bad way.

Normally I run thirty minutes and stop. Because running isn't my strong point I run for time, not miles. Tonight I hit thirty minutes and felt like Forest Gump. I just kept running. I got to forty minutes and thought I'm going to keep going. I ran for forty five minutes trying to shake Monday off. I have to say it was a GREAT way to kick Monday back. It wasn't pretty. There was eyeliner streaming down my face. My clothes were soaked with sweat. It wasn't fast. I'm not a sprinter. I didn't run the entire time. There was some brisk walking involved. The funny thing about the brisk walking was that I can still hear Trainer Mike in my head during some workouts. Tonight was one of those. "You own this." "Come on. Only 30 more seconds." "Tammy don't let your mind mess you up. You've got this." I could hear those things in my mind and used them every time I felt like I wasn't going to make it. Now instead of sitting here dwelling on all of the things I didn't like about this day, I'm celebrating my accomplishment. I followed it with a date with Calgon and am happy to say I am in my pjs with my gym bag packed for tomorrow morning. Lower body, I will own you. Go get it peeps! Don't let the stress of today take control. YOU are in control.

Distorted Images

In case you are new to this blog I work as an elementary school counselor. Some of my students have watched me physically change as I've been on this weight loss journey. When I first began and was dropping weight fast, I had several fifth grade girls who cheered me on. It was nothing to hear "OOOOHHHHH...you lookin good today, Dr. Bunch." It was encouragement that kept me going. Who doesn't like to be complimented on how they are looking? This school year I haven't made as many drastic physical changes so it's not in the front of the minds of my students. I do talk about the importance of setting goals and use the goals I set for working out and eating as examples when appropriate. I keep telling myself that I need to create a 5x7 of a then and now picture and hang it in my office. I have wanted to use this as a teaching tool. To those kids who were struggling academically or behaviorally I could say, "If you set goals and take small steps you can achieve many things." I had a conversation with a student at lunch last week that has caused me to change my mind. I was eating lunch with a group of third graders. One little girl was talking about her family working hard to make better eating choices. Another little (and I mean little VERY LITERALLY) said, "I've been trying to lose weight too. I've been exercising." I said, "I think it's great that you are trying to be healthier by exercising, but why are you trying to lose weight?" She replied, "Oh Dr. Bunch, I'll stop when I can see my ribs." Thank goodness I didn't have any food in my mouth at this time. I would have choked. I took a minute to compose myself and said, "Honey, if you can see your ribs...it's probably not very healthy." All of the girls assured me that to look good you have to be skinny AND if when you look at the really pretty girls you can see their ribs. These babies are in THIRD grade. They are nine and ten years old!!! As educators we are always looking for "teachable moments." That moment which hasn't been planned for, but it's a fleeting moment that has to be seized as an opportunity to help students grow either academically or socially. Here was a teachable moment smacking me in the face! I talked with the girls about my own journey. I explained that the reason I started working out and watching what I was eating was not to look like a girl in a magazine or on tv. My reasons for making the change were because I had gone to the dr and he had listed all of these medical issues I was facing because of my weight. I explained about diabetes, high cholesterol, and heart conditions. I explained how much better I feel because I am working out and trying to eat healthier. After lunch, I called the little girl's mom to explain my concerns. I didn't want to get her in trouble, but I needed her parents to be aware of what she is thinking. The conversation didn't go as I wanted it to. Her mom assured me that she only runs around the outside of the house and doesn't run far enough or long enough to lose that much weight. EEEEK!!! Here is where I had to tread lightly. She is the mom after all, but I was in a perfect position to offer a smidge advice? I said, "As someone who has struggled with body image, it's not the amount of running that concerns me. It's her distorted view of what's healthy. I just wanted you to be aware so you can keep your eye on her. As she is getting older and peer pressure increases, I don't want her to make poor choices because of body image." The mom seemed appreciative of my phone call and said she would keep an eye on things. In preparation for having lunch with these girls tomorrow, I decided to do a little more research. I also wanted to be better prepared in case this comes up again...because it's highly likely that it will. I know that models don't make it into a magazine without a bit of airbrushing. I also know that models have gone from "thin" to appearing emaciated since I was young. Here are some things I didn't know: According to the National Eating Disorders Association, 42 percent of first- to third-grade girls want to lose weight, and 81 percent of 10-year-olds are afraid of being fat. According to a study in Pediatrics, about two-thirds of girls in the 5th to 12th grades said that magazine images influence their vision of an ideal body, and about half of the girls said the images made them want to lose weight. By adolescence, studies show that young people are receiving an estimated 5,260 “attractiveness messages” per year from network television commercials alone. According to Teen magazine, 35 percent of girls ages 6 to 12 have been on at least one diet, and 50 to 70 percent of normal-weight girls think they are overweight. While all of these statistics are alarming, the things in bold are what caused me tears. The media is such a powerful influence. Girls used to look at role models who were average-sized, and now they are looking at a digital hodgepodge of body parts that aren't even a real person. This is what our girls are comparing themselves to. This is what they are striving to look like!!! They are exposed to the fabricated images so much that it becomes reality. At this point, there will be no "then and now" pictures in my office. I am not going to do anything that might influence a student in the wrong direction. I'm 43. I've lost over 75 pounds and I still struggle with body image. Disordered eating is still part of who I am. I post a lot on my FB page about not being able to out exercise a bad diet. I'm hoping that one day it will sink in for me. In the meantime, I'm going to be vigilant about educating little people when I can and trying to foster a healthy body image.