Our cat woke me up early yesterday morning. She's developed this habit of lying on top of me, nudging me with her head, head butting my head with her head, and then crawling under the covers and using her head to pull them off of me. Once I'm up she curls up with her head on my pillow and gives me a look that says, "Thanks...you've slept long enough. My turn." Anyway, I knew I couldn't sit around and wait until my 10:00 meeting with my committee so I went to the gym. Another HIIT workout which included 145 squats and crunches with bicep curls and jump roping.
I will admit I saw headlines about the Boston Marathon, I talked with some friends about this horrible tragedy, but I didn't watch any coverage. I refused to. No evening news, I didn't click on any links, I avoided it. This morning much of my FB feed was devoted to the topic. One of the runners I follow suggested we all run for Boston today. That is what I did. I ran for the victims of Boston. I knocked three minutes off of my PR. When I felt I needed to slow down I thought of the victims. I thought of the anger I felt that someone would do something so horrible. Today's workout was dedicated to all of those whose lives have been forever changed.
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
There's a Doctor In The House
Yesterday I successfully defended my dissertation. I have earned my doctorate in Educational Leadership and Policy Analysis from the University of Missouri. A few minor revisions to make and I will be completely finished. This journey has been one of the best of my life so far. I have grown so much as a person and a professional. I've met some incredible people and developed life long friendships. I've also improved my self confidence.
Our cat woke me up early yesterday morning. She's developed this habit of lying on top of me, nudging me with her head, head butting my head with her head, and then crawling under the covers and using her head to pull them off of me. Once I'm up she curls up with her head on my pillow and gives me a look that says, "Thanks...you've slept long enough. My turn." Anyway, I knew I couldn't sit around and wait until my 10:00 meeting with my committee so I went to the gym. Another HIIT workout which included 145 squats and crunches with bicep curls and jump roping.
I will admit I saw headlines about the Boston Marathon, I talked with some friends about this horrible tragedy, but I didn't watch any coverage. I refused to. No evening news, I didn't click on any links, I avoided it. This morning much of my FB feed was devoted to the topic. One of the runners I follow suggested we all run for Boston today. That is what I did. I ran for the victims of Boston. I knocked three minutes off of my PR. When I felt I needed to slow down I thought of the victims. I thought of the anger I felt that someone would do something so horrible. Today's workout was dedicated to all of those whose lives have been forever changed.
Our cat woke me up early yesterday morning. She's developed this habit of lying on top of me, nudging me with her head, head butting my head with her head, and then crawling under the covers and using her head to pull them off of me. Once I'm up she curls up with her head on my pillow and gives me a look that says, "Thanks...you've slept long enough. My turn." Anyway, I knew I couldn't sit around and wait until my 10:00 meeting with my committee so I went to the gym. Another HIIT workout which included 145 squats and crunches with bicep curls and jump roping.
I will admit I saw headlines about the Boston Marathon, I talked with some friends about this horrible tragedy, but I didn't watch any coverage. I refused to. No evening news, I didn't click on any links, I avoided it. This morning much of my FB feed was devoted to the topic. One of the runners I follow suggested we all run for Boston today. That is what I did. I ran for the victims of Boston. I knocked three minutes off of my PR. When I felt I needed to slow down I thought of the victims. I thought of the anger I felt that someone would do something so horrible. Today's workout was dedicated to all of those whose lives have been forever changed.
Friday, April 12, 2013
Lesson Learned About Emotional Health
I hope you will forgive me for not writing in so long. Lots of writing involved in finishing a dissertation. I defend on Monday at 10:00. I'm so full of emotion I can hardly stand myself! At the end of the day today two little girls came up to me and said, "See you Monday, Dr. Bunch!" I started dancing and they were asking why I was crying. Tears of joy!
Our advisors have spent time with us talking about life after a doctorate program. It is so intense that when finished, some people struggle with what to do. This thing has consumed my life for the past three years. The past year has been insane. It's about to be done. I do find myself wondering what is going to happen next. I'm hoping to land a job as a school administrator. I need something new to dive into. A new challenge. In case you haven't noticed, Bunchy doesn't do idle. Not at all.
I've been working out without a trainer for a week. And...I have some news...I've been talking to my original trainer. Let's just say it's looking like there might be more Trainer Mike stories in my future. :) HAPPY!
Let's talk about my workouts though. I joined this squat challenge on FB. Three days of squats and then a rest day. Each day the amount of squats increases. At first, I thought this isn't really hard. I'm not even sore. I kind of wanted to be sore so I would know things were working. Then I thought I should match my squats with crunches. Yesterday morning I was at the gym bright and early and created my own little HIIT workout. Two minutes of jumping rope, 25 squats with 50 pounds on my shoulders, 25 crunches, 25 reverse crunches, a minute of bicep curls. REPEAT! I went through the circuit 5 times. A little over 30 minutes. I feel muscles in my butt and stomach that I had forgotten were there. They are talking. Today was a rest day for squats. This morning was a running morning. I am really enjoying running. I am finding few things as rewarding as the sweat conjured while running.
I really want to share with you a story from two weeks ago. Two weeks ago yesterday to be exact. Even though my blogging has been limited the past several months, you might have caught on that it has been a difficult school year in my building. We have had numerous students whose families have been impacted by the sudden loss of an immediate family member. We have had a couple of staff members who have experienced tragedy as well. There have also been some students with rather challenging behaviors. We have had to put two of our cats to sleep. My grandfather is not doing well. My cousin has some mysterious illness. I'm working on a dissertation and trying to find a new job. The first thing they teach in you in counselor school is to take care of yourself because if you don't you can't help others. I preach this to people all the time. I check on my colleagues when I know they are dealing with a challenging situations and I've had several that have been in touch with me. What has my response been? "I'm fine. It's all good. I'm working out. Oh yes, I'm taking time for myself."
Two weeks ago I had a morning where several people came and shared really intense stuff with me. I walked into a friend's office, she looked at me and asked if I was okay and the tears came. I turned around and walked back to my office. My friend followed me. I'm not talking about a few tears. I'm talking about heaving, breath taking sobs. They were uncontrollable. I couldn't stop. With a little help from my friend, I decided it would be best if I went home for the day. I started out into the hallway to find my principal when another friend called my name. I turned and she said, "Are you okay?" The tears came, I turned on my heel and went back to my office. My friends decided they would find the principal and bring her to me. After some convincing to everyone that I would be okay to drive, I came home and slept for hours. This is not like me. I don't do this. I woke up long enough for a snack as dinner and was back to sleep for the night. I woke up and went to a meeting the next morning and prepared to start my day. In walked my intern who took one look at me and said, "Go home. You aren't okay." The tears came again. I went back home and crawled back into bed where I slept again. It was like I had not slept in days. Every part of me felt heavy. I woke sweating after terrifying nightmares. I was starting to get a bit scared. This isn't me. I have never experienced anything like this. A friend who called/texted to check on me several times over those two days was so helpful in analyzing my nightmares (always someone chasing me, or I was lost and couldn't find my way, or I was trapped) and what was going on. All the time I had spent trying to be strong for others, I had internalized everything and there was nothing more I could take. It was my body's way of saying I needed a break.
What does this have to do with Bunchy Beating the Bulge? Friends, there is so much more to taking care of us than physical. We have to take care of the mental side too. I know I am not the only one who is burdened with stress. You must have an outlet. Take it from me, stuffing it is not the answer. Don't fall into my trap of trying to fix everything for everyone else. You must keep yourself emotionally healthy.
I am even more grateful for my friends after this experience. One in particular who continually gave me permission to take care of me. (You know who you are!) I needed someone to give me permission during that time because for whatever reasons, I had decided I didn't have time and I wasn't important enough. Lesson Learned!
I really want to share with you a story from two weeks ago. Two weeks ago yesterday to be exact. Even though my blogging has been limited the past several months, you might have caught on that it has been a difficult school year in my building. We have had numerous students whose families have been impacted by the sudden loss of an immediate family member. We have had a couple of staff members who have experienced tragedy as well. There have also been some students with rather challenging behaviors. We have had to put two of our cats to sleep. My grandfather is not doing well. My cousin has some mysterious illness. I'm working on a dissertation and trying to find a new job. The first thing they teach in you in counselor school is to take care of yourself because if you don't you can't help others. I preach this to people all the time. I check on my colleagues when I know they are dealing with a challenging situations and I've had several that have been in touch with me. What has my response been? "I'm fine. It's all good. I'm working out. Oh yes, I'm taking time for myself."
Two weeks ago I had a morning where several people came and shared really intense stuff with me. I walked into a friend's office, she looked at me and asked if I was okay and the tears came. I turned around and walked back to my office. My friend followed me. I'm not talking about a few tears. I'm talking about heaving, breath taking sobs. They were uncontrollable. I couldn't stop. With a little help from my friend, I decided it would be best if I went home for the day. I started out into the hallway to find my principal when another friend called my name. I turned and she said, "Are you okay?" The tears came, I turned on my heel and went back to my office. My friends decided they would find the principal and bring her to me. After some convincing to everyone that I would be okay to drive, I came home and slept for hours. This is not like me. I don't do this. I woke up long enough for a snack as dinner and was back to sleep for the night. I woke up and went to a meeting the next morning and prepared to start my day. In walked my intern who took one look at me and said, "Go home. You aren't okay." The tears came again. I went back home and crawled back into bed where I slept again. It was like I had not slept in days. Every part of me felt heavy. I woke sweating after terrifying nightmares. I was starting to get a bit scared. This isn't me. I have never experienced anything like this. A friend who called/texted to check on me several times over those two days was so helpful in analyzing my nightmares (always someone chasing me, or I was lost and couldn't find my way, or I was trapped) and what was going on. All the time I had spent trying to be strong for others, I had internalized everything and there was nothing more I could take. It was my body's way of saying I needed a break.
What does this have to do with Bunchy Beating the Bulge? Friends, there is so much more to taking care of us than physical. We have to take care of the mental side too. I know I am not the only one who is burdened with stress. You must have an outlet. Take it from me, stuffing it is not the answer. Don't fall into my trap of trying to fix everything for everyone else. You must keep yourself emotionally healthy.
I am even more grateful for my friends after this experience. One in particular who continually gave me permission to take care of me. (You know who you are!) I needed someone to give me permission during that time because for whatever reasons, I had decided I didn't have time and I wasn't important enough. Lesson Learned!
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